sxual ocd

@nae nae Thank you so much for this comment. I always feel like my OCD is worse than the worst, but people like you reaching out to me and letting me know that I am not alone helps a lot. I don’t want any of us to struggle, but to know there is a community helps a lot. I wish I had only intrusive thoughts, the compulsion that come with OCD make me feel much worse and convince me that I’m a bad person. I wish I knew where my OCD came from as I have experience symptoms as young as the age of eight. I only diagnosed with OCD when I was 15. I am almost 20 now. I really am sad about my ocd. I’m also scared to talk to people out of fear that im “unredeemable” and a lost cause.

@dee012 I dealt with symptoms at a young age, too, except back then, I think it was mainly Harm OCD and magical thinking. I believe I was also hypersexual as a child due to being exposed to things at a young age and talking to older people online. It's a fear of mine that it's permanently affected me, but I'm trying not to think too much about it because anytime I do, the thoughts get so much worse. You aren't "unredeemable" or a lost cause. I know it's hard to convince ourselves of the opposite, but it's true. Have you ever seen an OCD specialist or done ERP?

@nae nae I’m sorry you had to go through that. You did not deserve any of those things, especially how it affects you now. I have seen an OCD specialist and trying to ERP, but I wasn’t consistent. I do not have a therapist as of right now. What about you?

@dee012 Thank you😭 I'm seeing a psychiatrist, and we're discussing finding a therapist as well. I'm hoping to see an OCD specialist or someone who practices ERP. I've tried doing some exposures at home, but it can be difficult when you're doing it alone and without any guidance. I'm afraid of making things worse, so I haven't done anything too triggering.

@🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊 I’m sorry to hear:( it will be okay though. Ocd is tough sometimes but does not define u

@dee012 I just feel like everyday gets more worse and worse and worse like I'm slowly turning into a creepy person and that my attraction has changed that's litterly how I feel the more I check the more I domcimpulsions the more it feeds the OCD and the worse it gets and the more it feels real and the more real the urges and feelings get I broke down to my mom yesterday it was bad I just started crying. Because I genuily feel like I'm actually changing into a bad person

@🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊 I understand how you feel because I feel the same. We may not go through the exact things, but I understand how you feel completely. I feel Creepy all the time and I feel like I’m turning into a bad person as well, but I try my hardest to not let it find me. Please don’t let OCD define you, it does get really bad at times, but I could say I’ve always came out feeling better even if I still feel bad sometimes. I do experience checking, and also other compulsions. You are not alone in that one. Please just remember that your thoughts and compulsions happen because of OCD. Not because u want it to.

@dee012 I know but it genuily felt like I did want it and that's terrifying and scary like in the moment I hate this like feelings the same way you get attracted to men like wtf can it feel that real ik false feelings are a thing but it felt to genuine like I actually liked the feeling!?...And the worst part is that I didn't even get anxiety about it's been going on for so long u get tired and just feel like I'm agreeing

@🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊 Sorry for my late response, I’m sorry you were feeling like this. Are you feeling any better? I feel the same way as you do, with many themes of my OCD. It does cause false arousal, and the sensations do not align with your morals. I honestly feel like the more you focus on it, the harder it will be to be able to ignore it somewhat.