Can someone with rocd give a newbie some advice?

Flagged as triggering to be safe I’ve never been in a real relationship before… you can guess why lol. But I really want the one I’m in to work out. Still I can’t help but be scared that I don’t actually have feelings for him. I’m scared that I’m leading him on? And I’m scared because I can no longer identify what’s real and what’s ocd. To make matters worse we went on winter break from college and we are long distance so I went from seeing him every day and now I haven’t seen him for four weeks. I’m going to see him in two days and I was trying to lay out an outfit that he would see me and think “wow” in. But I started to wonder, am I doing this cause I like him or because I just want him to like me and I don’t have feelings for him. I feel like a terrible person. The combo of no relationship experience plus the ocd plus winter break is distressing. (We’ve been together three going on four months)

Username: line_the_psycholine_the_psycho

Date posted: 12d ago

Hi! i have rocd too and I get you a 100%, I'm struggling with it pretty bad, I completely understand how you feel, you wonder if you really love him or if you're convincing yourself that you are, wonder if you love him ''enough'', keep asking yourself ''how do I feel about him rn? do I feel love ? do I feel nothing?" and panick I'm not out of it at all actually I'm pretty fucked but I know that to recover you need to stop analysing everything, it will feel distressing and tiring in the beginning but looking for reassurance all the time (online tests, tiktoks abt relationship, asking him if he can feel that you love him) feeds the disorder, and that's why you need to stop. When you have an intensive thought such as ''do I really love him?" you need to watch it go by, like a cloud in the sky, do hang onto it, just look at it, don't judge it, and let it go. It's kind of a ''do what I say not what I don't advice but according to therapists, with time and patience you should get better. hope this helps :) sending you support

Username: jenna.annnnjenna.annnn

Date posted: 12d ago

If you didn’t like him, you would know for sure, I think. If there’s doubt, it’s probably OCD. I am so sorry you are going through this. Your feelings are so valid

Username: KaitmerKaitmer

Date posted: 12d ago

Hey! My first relationship a few years ago… I went through this exact thing and in my current relationship I still sometimes do but not nearly as bad. In my first relationship, I kept panicking like Do I even like him?! For me at least, I don’t think I’d be so anxious about it if i didn’t actually like him. If you really want it to work out, that means you DO like him! The thoughts are really hard and I completely get what you’re saying that it makes you feel guilty. The same happened/happens to me. But like the person above me commented, don’t give it too much attention (easier said than done, but it gets easier). The brain is so complex and (annoying!! Lmao) but you can train it and work on the way you react to silly thoughts that feel so real! I hope this helps! Don’t feel guilty! I think if you’re so upset about it - you are a good person. A “bad” person wouldn’t care if they were leading someone on. But you’re not. You genuinely care for your partner and are just having some relationship ocd thoughts and it happens to many people.

Username: NotfunNotfun

Date posted: 12d ago

Hey the best you could do is just be like okay maybe I do like my man maybe I don’t and just sit with the unknowing ness that’s how to beat ocd I know it’s hard trust me I’ve been going through this and have been through it

Username: kay.rose07kay.rose07

Date posted: 12d ago

i am sort of young, only 2 years until i have to be in college, i’ve been with my bf for 2 years for reference. lately ive been thinking of college and only college. when i was a kid it seemed unreal to me, college, bc there were so many better things to do, now i feel like im gonna get lit on fire if i don’t have anything figured out. what i want to be, where i want to go to college, those are some concerns with college. my biggest worry is what will happen to my relationship, my SO made me worry by saying that there are more LDR that fail than work out. i dont want to grow up, why can’t i be worry free. ever since ive grown up a bit, id say every since i was 12 or 13, i feel like i cant catch a break from stress. my huge problem is overthinking. and bc my SO hates the fact that i overthink, it makes me overthink more, mostly about our relationship. i’ve cried a couple times now over the past 4 days bc idk what to do with my life after high school. i want help, but not from a therapist or anyone really

Username: Tea and HoneyTea and Honey

Date posted: 11d ago

I love the Nathan Peterson videos. He has some ROCD videos that might be helpful. It might also be helpful to read the comments on the video to see what other people are saying about their ROCD struggles too. :):) https://youtu.be/w4r0kir8COY?si=YiIWFnTCcBvjiSkG

Username: Littleduckling

Date posted: 24w ago

ROCD flare up

Hi everyone, I’m new here! I have struggled with OCD on and off for many years and all different flavors (SOOCD, POCD, Pure OCD). I am in a happy relationship of 2.5 years and feel supported and loved by my partner. We have been wanting to move in together and now that we are officially going forward with it, I’m suffering from extreme ROCD, at least I think it is. Out of nowhere I just feel absolute fear around moving in together, thinking that it’s going to ruin my life and our relationship. While he is normally someone who comforts me and I now find him to be a big trigger of mine, as every text and “I love you” now triggers thoughts that he might not be the one or that I am deceiving him. I’m finding it so difficult not to talk to him about it. What I think is my OCD keeps telling me I should not move in with him, break up, and move back home, even though I don’t want that. The hardest part of this is wondering if it’s OCD or my gut. I’m even terrified to post here because I’m worried someone will tell me I should break up with him. I feel so tired and depressed. I’m having trouble doing my job, enjoying things, and eating the past couple days. It’s really just popped up.

Username: giuseppe

Date posted: 22w ago

i need advice on how to overcome rocd

hi there! so after i got together with my partner, i found out i have rocd :) it's excruciating and new to me, so i really have no idea how to fight it back. i constantly have thought regarding my feelings towards him bc what if i dont love him? what if I've been pretending all this time? what if i'm confusing love for something else? i also have a really hard time processing positive and happy feelings bc i usually get this punch in my gut, as if I'm not supposed to feel that good feeling (idk if you can relate). well that too makes me believe i dont love my partner and it's really really tiring because I can't stop doubting my feelings. yk how ocd is the doubt illness so I'm used to it, but i am so so so sure that i love him, I've never been so sure about something in my life and i literally doubt everything. but what if I'm just avoiding the truth, what if I won't admit to not love him bc i dont wanna hurt him? who knows anyways it's really exhausting and i could really do some advice. thank you in advace :)

Username: Luke M.

Date posted: 17w ago

Really struggling with R-OCD

This past week has been very challenging; I have been seeing this guy now for a couple of months, and every now and then I will experience a loss of interest in him. Sometimes this is brought upon by the OCD itself, which makes me not want to be around him because he is the trigger. Other times, it’s hard to tell if I’m genuinely not interested, and this drives me absolutely crazy. I feel like I am leading him on and forcing myself to like him just because I want to be in a relationship. To make things clear, he is the sweetest guy and hasn’t done anything wrong; he knows that I struggle with R-OCD and has been very understanding, but isn’t aware of my periods of disinterest and doesn’t know just how distressed I get. This morning, he texted me and said he can’t wait to see me. While reading his text, I never got excited or felt butterflies, I just felt sick to my stomach because all I can think about is how I’m gonna have to tell him I’m not into him right now. I feel like at this point with the back and forth feelings, I just need to end things. The more I think about it, the more I start to believe and feel that’s the right answer. I get sad because I am starting to catch feelings and don’t want to put a stop to a potentially good relationship. I’m really trying to understand why my feelings for him are constantly up and down.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Can someone with rocd give a newbie some advice?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community