relationship ocd

hi! i was wondering if anybody here struggles with relationship ocd. i am in an almost 4 year relationship with the best boyfriend i could ever imagine. he is so understanding about my ocd. i have obsessive thoughts like “what if he’s falling out of love with me” or “what if i cheated on him and completely forgot.” i know these sound horrible and i know i didn’t cheat on my boyfriend but i keep getting obsessive thoughts on what if i did and completely forget. i feel so guilty all the time for something i did not do. then i get worried that im trying to make myself feel better about being a bad person. i truly hate these thoughts and i live my boyfriend so much im just worried that i hurt him- he knows about this specific obsessive thought and i know it will pass eventually. i was just wondering if anybody has had a similar experience with relationship OCD and how to make it better? what meds have you taken that have helped obsessive thoughts? i have other obsessive thoughts daily but this one seems to bother me the most. ocd really attacks what you care most about.

grace_ostrand

Date posted: 28w

I have definitely been there girl let me tell you! Some good response preventions I have learned are to tell my intrusive thoughts “thank you for reminding me of my values” and not give it my energy. Everytime they pop up, just “thank you for the reminder!” And that’s it. Spiraling is what ocd wants from you, and you are right it is attacking what you care about most. Another one when I get the what if thoughts is to respond with “maybe it will, maybe it won’t” and sitting with the uncomfortable feelings without trying to reassure that I am a good person or that I am in love etc. as for meds, I’m on Zoloft and I’d say it works fine for me. It helped a lot when my ocd was at its worst and I was completely untreated. Now I’ve been on it for 5 years and I’m looking to find something more tailored to my needs, but it’s a great starting place I’d say. But def talk to a physiatrist! Lastly, you are so much stronger than this battle. Just from your profile pic I can tell you have a beautiful smile to share with the world. You’ve got this girl!💕

loryn!

Date posted: 28w

@grace_ostrand thank you so much this made me truly tear up. i am feeling less alone and i hope you’re working on finding peace as well. i have taken lexapro, luvox, and im on buspar now. i’m constantly worried “what if i dont actually have ocd because these aren’t working for me?” i know everything will be okay and i appreciate your kindness so much❤️

Dalia H.

Date posted: 28w

I have been dealing with the cheating obsession for the entirety of our almost 3 year relationship. The worst are the false memories.

loryn!

Date posted: 28w

@Dalia H. isn’t it the worst! it makes me feel like the worst person in the world even though i know i haven’t done anything i feel so guilty all the time! i just try to remind myself that i know my truth and i know that it’s just the ocd. that just doesn’t take away how upsetting it is to think about that😕

Dalia H.

Date posted: 28w

@loryn! Sometimes it helps me to realize that we accept uncertainty on SO many other fronts, even with OCD. For example, I may be panicking and obsessing over the idea of “what if I cheated and forgot?” and yet it’s just as likely that I may have robbed a store and forgotten and now the police are looking for me, yet I don’t obsess over that because I know the chances of that happening are near zero

loryn!

Date posted: 28w

@Dalia H. ugh i love this! i never thought about my situation like this, thank you ❤️❤️

e2222

Date posted: 22w

Relationship OCD?/am I just evil

I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.

naiad

Date posted: 9w

Relationship OCD

Hi all, I’m F(20) and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(20) for 10 months now. Lately it feels like I’ve been getting triggered at the tiniest thing. My relationship OCD is centered around the idea that my bf will leave me, that suddenly his feelings will change and he’ll never look back. Inherently I know this is irrational and I know he loves me very much (as he tells me repeatedly when I compulsively ask for reassurance). I just can’t make my brain stop. I just feel so unsecured. He will mention that one of his friends drove an hour to see him for only 30 minutes. I will then spiral that I am not possibly doing enough and it’s because he’s secretly done with me and he’s longing for a reason to leave and go be with this friend instead. See? Truly irrational. But I cannot stop it. Any tips at all? Maybe I’m at least not alone in this. I often feel literally insane:(

Unstoppable ...

Date posted: 4w

Relationship OCD

Hi I'm new to all of this so I hope I'm doing this right. 5 years ago my 34 year marriage ended. My ex husband was a mentally and financially abusive, covert narcissist. All that is behind me now and I'm finally remembering who I am again. I'm in a relationship with a really great guy but the problem I'm having is relationship OCD. This has taken me by surprise really as I've had OCD from a very young age but never has it been about my relationship. I constantly check messages and go over and over conversations and convince myself my partner will eventually cheat. Almost every single person in his life I can feel threatened by and I hate this for him and also for me as I don't have any peace of mind. This is ruining the lovely relationship I know I could have so I really need to get a handle on it. Has anybody else experienced this and managed to control it?

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