introducing myself! as i’m new to the community:)

Hello, I’m in undergrad and recently was diagnosed with OCD. Its a very new diagnosis and it’s both been stressful and relieving to receive it. Looking back at my past I’ve been able to explain a lot of behavioral issues that I thought were simply attributed to me being “crazy”. It’s comforting to know it’s something that others struggle with and that there are set coping mechanisms and treatments for it. There are a number of thing of which I obsessively think about, and it’s been getting really hard to deal with all of them. The most troubling are my thoughts toward suicide. I can’t stop thinking about it. There’s not really any intent, it’s just like my brain has tuned into a frequency that plays in the background at all times. Usually though this leads to more dangerous behaviors, and so I always try to do any preventative work to keep myself safe. As for the asking for advice portion of this post, what do you all do to combat unending loops of thought? Because I’m so new to my diagnosis, my therapist and I haven’t found good strategies for me yet, outside of just labeling those thoughts as OCD in an attempt to delegitimize them.

I’m irrationally terrified of being found somehow by someone who knows me but I’m trying to post anyway. Not sure if I qualify as young adult or mid-life at this point because I’m about to be 30. Hi, I’m new here and I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis. I’m already diagnosed with autism, GAD, and probable ADHD, and I believe I’ve had varying subtypes of OCD since childhood. My worst OCD-related issue right now has been constant reassurance seeking. I’ve fallen into a trap of constantly doing it and without reassurance I’m terrified to make decisions in my new job. It’s causing me to ask too many questions I already know the answers to which makes me not look competent. Even though I’m somewhat experienced in my field of work, starting this new job has me feeling like I’m starting in the field all over again because I’m so bad these days with working independently since I can’t reassure myself that what I’m doing is correct. I’ve been stressed out of my mind and have come close to losing my job because the stress has exacerbated my autistic struggles such as meltdowns and social issues and I’m also battling the ADHD and GAD on top of it. I’ve also been pushing away people who are close to me with my reassurance seeking because I have problems with not being satisfied with any piece of advice or reassurance given to me by friends and family. They can say things will be okay a thousand times and even though I’m the one who asked I will fight them on it and I’m getting tired of my own difficult behavior and obsessive thoughts. I finally got into therapy again to try and save my job and my relationships from the clutches of my various mental illnesses and I’m just looking for community here.

Not sure what to say. Just that I am so tired of dealing with OCD - I’ve had it for most of my life and as a 40 something woman, I’m exhausted. I’m tired of being misunderstood and mistreated. I’m tired of seeing relationships that I have dwindle bc my friends and family are overwhelmed with my ruminations and reassurance. I’m embarrassed bc I overwhelm my friends and family with whom I’ve trusted my personal thoughts with and I keep thinking that they can help me through stuff only to be let down. I’ve yet to meet another mind like mines who is complicated but trying to survive because I have children and want to see them grow. I’m tired of feeling defeated because someone took advantage of me and my thoughts. It’s so exhausting but I’m ready to try this because I know I need help. Not sure if this is triggering I’m just ranting bc I’m so lost.