Hello! I just got diagnosed with OCD a week ago and joined the app today to find a sense of community. Since my understanding of treatment is minimal at this point, I'm confused why everything on here tells us not to seek or give reassurance? If someone could explain the reasoning behind that it would be greatly appreciated, as I want to make sure I'm not only watching out for it in my personal life but also using this app appropriately.
Here’s some articles about the basics: -The Psychology of Seeking Reassurance: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-how-to-stop-cycle -5 Things To Do Other Than Compulsions: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/five-things-to-do-instead-of-compulsions -What is Rumination? https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-rumination-trap -Confessing compulsion vs. healthy sharing: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing -What’s Pure O OCD? https://www.verywellmind.com/pure-o-primarily-obsessional-ocd-4159144
Thank you, this is extremely helpful!
Getting reassurance reinforces to your brain that your obsession is a problem, even though deep down you know it’s not a problem
OCD consists of two things: obsessions and compulsions. Our obsessions are those repetitive thoughts, feelings, images or urges that come with a certain feeling of distress. Us with OCD, we think we need to get away from this distress by avoiding anything that could trigger our obsessions or by trying to neutralise feelings of distress by researching, by trying to push thoughts away, by arguing against them in our head or: by asking others for their reassurance. All that is aiming at us feeling better, but only in the short run. It is us running away from our distress, trying to make those feelings go away, those „compulsions“, that make the OCD worse. They signal to our brain that we are only safe because we do them. But the more we do them, the more our obsessions happen and the more compulsions we have to do. That’s why reassurance for oneself or others with OCD is a bad idea: it feeds the OCD. When we spiral in distress, we of course want it. But it is the same as with someone who is addicted to a substance: the way to healing is not to give it. Our „substance“ is certainty - because we believe we can’t deal with uncertainty. But it is never enough, OCD will always want more.
This is terrifying to think about, but very good to know. As someone who hasn't had any OCD specific therapy yet, it's a bit intimidating to see how long the road to feeling comfortable is
@sierra6 Yeah, I get that. It is hard to learn that you have this illness, it can feel quite sad I find, and to also learn that it might not be such a quick fix. On the other hand, with knowledge comes power. Having the knowledge that we should try to not do the compulsions means that some re-learning is ahead of us, but at least it means we are now on the route to actual freedom from feeling THAT miserable. And OCD is very much treatable! It is important to find a therapist who knows OCD and who does exposure and response prevention (ERP), this is essential. You gut this!
Ocd constantly asks, what if, as it seeks reassurance. Providing that reassurance strengthens the ocd and the need for more and more reassurance. Breaking this cycle reduces the volume ocd has when trying to get our attention. By avoiding reassurance and doing the hard things, we are strengthening ourselves. Don't tell my therapist I wrote this, or she will be expecting me to live up to what I'm writing. :) Lol. It takes time and it is hard work, but this is why reassurance can be negative reinforcement sometimes.
As someone who sometimes lives off reassurance, this is for sure going to be the hardest part of learning to grow. I understand the reasoning but it's still hard to hear :(
@sierra6 I find it helps to think: this feeling of distress is mostly a feeling in the body. And we can handle feelings in our body. When we don’t try to push them away, they will actually fade away on their own after a while. It I like a sore throat, it feels uncomfortable and we don’t like it, but if we are honest, we know we can handle the pain. This is actually a big lie that OCD tells us: that the feeling will get unbearable if we don’t do anything. But that is not true, there is a limit to distress, when we don’t do compulsions, we feel it for a while, but it will go down because the brain realises: ah, no one is acting on my signals, I must save energy, I am gonna calm down.
@sierra6 I understand what you're saying. But it's not as if to say you can never seek or have reassurance. It's more about bringing awareness of how that interacts with ocd so we can catch ourselves and decide, I'm good without seeking it. When I look back on my life before getting diagnosed I can now see how important reassurance was to me. And sometimes it still is. But with that awareness I can work to be less dependent on reassurance, one step at a time.
This should be common sense, but unfortunately I stumble down these rabbit holes and subreddits because I have a complicated health problem, and am trying to seek a similar community. I have sought out medical advice with no real conclusion and ocd anxiety makes things worse so I guess this is a form of compulsion? I’m not exactly sure anymore. Anyways, I had a strange experience last night where I had a bit of swelling and discomfort in my mouth and fingers. I took an antihistamine just in case, and the issue resolved itself. I posted in a histamine intolerance subreddit asking if anyone has experienced similar as there was no known trigger. Well, someone told me it was anaphylaxis and that I had to be more careful with what I ate. Anaphylaxis is already a trigger of mine, and although I know logically it couldn’t have been, the opinion of another person feels like confirmation. I am now afraid to eat or drink because of it. I am unsure if posting on subreddits was a compulsion now but please be careful with anything like that. It can make things so much worse.
Hi everyone. I'm feeling kinda scared because I have to wait a whole month to start ERP therapy, but I feel like I need to start doing exposures now because the longer I wait, the more anxiety I get. It just feels like the OCD monster is getting worse. One thing that helps me is asking one person about an obsession I have...asking a person that I trust, and then doing an exposure after I get the "ok" to do it. I feel like I do need 1 reassurance and then I can go ahead and do it. I know i'm not supposed to ask for reassurance at all, but i dont think you're supposed to do ERP on your own right? Does anyone have any suggestions for what to do while waiting for therapy? PS-the reason there is a wait is bc she's on vacation. After she's back we will meet regularly.
Posting for reassurance and not getting comments due to that is so hard. OCD is so hard..
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