I don't know what to do

I don't know what to do anymore, the fear of psychosis and schizophrenia is so bad in so hyper aware of everything I hear and everything I see, I've always had eye floaters now I convince myself that it's really me hallucinating, I've always had tinnitus but now I'm convinced it means I'm going to go crazy soon, I can't sit in quiet because all I'm focusing on is what I'm hearing, and searching for any sounds I can't distinguish, when there's background noise I get so anxious if I think I heard something but im not sure I did or I'm just anxious, I'm terrified I'll start having delusions and sometimes my brain confuses some sounds for other sounds for example say I'm hyper focused and I breathe and my nose makes a whistling sound my mind interprets it as a scream and I freak out thinking I'm hallucinating only to focus closer and realize it's my own breathing, earlier I was so anxious that I couldnt tell if I had an intrusive thought or heard something, I don't know how to make it stop, I've been through this theme before I just forgot how hard it was I'm having a panic attack please help

"Pure" OCD

Username: xLilithxxLilithx

Date posted: 18d ago

i have gone through this before and still struggle with it i completely understand. i actually ended up in an RTF because i was fully convinced i was in psychosis. to this day the experience reoccurs and i still find the urge to “check” certain things but the things that have helped me most when this comes up are as follows. DBT skill radical acceptance: accepting things as they truly are, you could get better information about this skill by looking it up or having your therapist explain it to you but for me it was changing my thoughts from spiraling down all the awful things that would come with psychosis to accepting them. when it comes up, i now accept that while it would be terrifying and painful, the ER would treat me and life would go on. the second thing was acknowledging the fear of psychosis as a validation i have OCD instead of believing the thought. i definitely still struggle but it’s gotten a little better and i hope this is at least somewhat helpful for you

Username: LizethhLizethh

Date posted: 18d ago

Thankyou I appreciate you alot

Username: jjhoneypotjjhoneypot

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18d ago

There’s a lot in here that tells me you ultimately always know this is your OCD, which is huge! I just read “Pure O” OCD by Chad Lejeune and it was amazing. It helped a lot and felt a bit like mild exposure therapy. Just to listen to something about my pure O, but that also gave me lots of information about it and lots of hope. Sending love your way, you got this❤️

Username: LizethhLizethh

Date posted: 18d ago

Thankyou so much im definitely gonna give that book a try :)

Username: Andrea WellsAndrea Wells

Date posted: 17d ago

Love this! Simply learning and gaining knowledge about the way OCD works can help a ton.

Username: Andrea WellsAndrea Wells

Date posted: 17d ago

Aww, Lizethh. I am sending you the biggest virtual hug. This entire post sounds like it could be a page out of my diary back in 2021 when these exact same fears were dominating my life for a while. I know it's SO terrifying wondering if you are hearing things or hallucinating or losing your mind. Please know that you can find relief from this torture. ERP helped me get my life back. I'm here if you need to talk with somebody who gets it. Sending you love in strength.

Username: LizethhLizethh

Date posted: 17d ago

Thankyou so much I really appreciate you it feels so lonely and heartbreaking dealing with this, knowing im okay but my mind convincing me I'm delusional and will end up in a mental hospital 💔

Username: Andrea WellsAndrea Wells

Date posted: 17d ago

@Lizethh - It can feel SO REAL sometimes! Even if you know logically you don't have psychosis or schizophrenia, OCD convinces you otherwise. Please know that OCD is a liar constantly trying to get a rise out of you by playing on what you value. Obviously, mental stability and being in control of ourselves and our mind is something to value, and OCD knows how scary it is to think we may not have that. OCD is a bully. We are stronger than OCD!

Username: LizethhLizethh

Date posted: 17d ago

@Andrea Wells Thankyou !! I'm feeling a little more hopeful right now just distracting myself and accepting the thoughts as they come and not giving them meaning, still afraid but not as much as yesterday, I did go to a mental health facility and have a doctors appointment next Wednesday to hopefully get some medication, they didn't seem too concerned about my symptoms just how severe my anxiety is, and it took everything for me to seek help but im proud I finally took the first step

Username: Andrea WellsAndrea Wells

Date posted: 16d ago

@Lizethh - THAT IS SO EXCITING!!! Congrats on taking the first step to reach out for some help. I know how hard that is to do. I'm sorry that they didn't seem too concerned with your specific symptoms, that sounds invalidating. I know a lot of doctors and mental health professionals really don't understand all the ways the OCD can present or just how terrifying it can be for those who experience it. They may brush it off as general anxiety and just treat the anxiety, but there is more to the picture. Make sure to advocate for yourself and make clear that what you need help with is OCD, not just anxiety. They obviously play into each other but OCD requires a different and specialized approach. I didn't find real relief from OCD until I finally found actual OCD specialists who get it. The steps you've taken so far are amazing! Getting an appointment to discuss medication is awesome too. Research shows that the best way to get the most relief from OCD symptoms is to take medication AND do ERP therapy. Doing both of these has helped me a ton. I highly recommend signing up for a 15 minute informational call with NOCD too to find out what your options are with ERP! They are in network with a lot of insurances and everyone who works there really understands OCD and doesn't brush it off. Keep up the amazing work. I really admire how you are taking steps to take care of yourself and find relief from the mental torture that OCD can bring with fears around psychosis and schizophrenia.

Username: LizethhLizethh

Date posted: 14d ago

@Andrea Wells You're so kind thankyou so much, I definitely will do that, i am definitely going to look into erp, I don't have insurance but any amount of money is worth my peace of mind, and yes I've always been terrified of taking medication the longest time but im ready to try anything that will take the edge off my life and give me some peace, I don't think I've had a peaceful anxiety-free day ever even when my mind isn't plagued with thoughts the anxiety remains there ❤️

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 24w ago

Really need some advice

So recently I made a post about having the theme of fear of psychosis and schizophrenia which has led to the fear of not getting sleep and being scared I’ll go crazy and start hallucinating from the lack of sleep. Last night I was able to sleep some hours after not being able to properly sleep for 4 nights (like I actually dreamt) but of course when I woke up I got the the thought “what if you didn’t sleep and you think you did” “what if you’re just hallucinating it” it made me instantly sick to my stomach! Of course I know I slept but these thoughts just get crazier everyday making me feel like I’m actually crazy. I just want to cry. It’s a constant battle everyday and I’m just so tired. I’ve never had these thoughts before. If anyone has gone through this please tell me what helped you. I miss getting home and looking forward to sleeping not being scared I won’t. And I miss just living my life and not having thoughts questioning if it’s my reality or not. Please I could really use some advice.

Username: alondrahuaman

Date posted: 22w ago

I am so scared and alone.

Hi everyone. So recently I have been feeling so scared and paranoid of going crazy. I am terrified of i will go crazy and turn schizo. I’m so hyper aware of everything. My mind convinces me that I will end up like this but I really don’t want to.It’s my biggest fear and I think abt it almost everyday and I can’t handle it anymore. I just want to be ok. I have told my parents this and they say it’s all in my head and just laugh at me. I know it’s in my head but I physically feel sick to my stomach being constantly scared. Please someone help me please please. Thank you.

Username: totallynotjade_

Date posted: 12w ago

fear of schizophrenia/psychosis vent

tw / this theme is literally ruining my life. I can’t get a moments peace, all the symptoms I have feel so real and googling the symptoms caused more to show up and it’s so scary now. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I might actually have it and I’m so scared. nothing is helping. I’m going to be stuck in this theme forever or actually become psychotic or schizophrenic. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m over analyzing every little symptom as possible schizophrenia, and no matter how many times people tell me “crazy people don’t know they’re crazy”, my ocd still has me convinced I have it or I’m developing it. I’m so, so sick of my anxiety and ocd. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel trapped. these are just some of my symptoms: - Almost constantly seeing something out of the corner of my eye, shadows/figures/moving, etc. - Difficulty concentrating. - Newer symptom - difficulty talking (more frequent pauses in talking, forgetting what I was saying, struggling to find words, struggling to form sentences for a minute before I figure it out) - Extremely stressed and anxious almost at all times. - Extreme fear of losing my mind - Occasional feeling of impending doom - Forgetfulness (easily forgetting what I was saying/doing or what I was going to say/do) - Constantly pausing or rewinding videos/TV to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating the sound. - Occasional thoughts of “is this real?” “What if I’m actually just dreaming?” “Am I hallucinating all of this?” type of thing. - Difficulty getting to sleep, every night I don’t sleep until like 1-2 a.m. when I inevitably can’t keep my eyes open anymore and pass out, frequently wake up throughout the night Side note on this one: I’m afraid to sleep due to my OCD convincing me that something will happen in my sleep or I’ll sleepwalk or something like that. - Dissociation/zoning out - Almost always tired/yawning/exhausted/heavy eye feeling - Lack of interest in hobbies/shows/etc I’m so, so tired. I feel so hopeless and like my worst fears are actually coming true. Googling schizophrenia and psychosis just caused more symptoms and now I feel miserable. I wish I didn’t have to worry about this. I wish I could live happily and carefree. all of this venting and still nothing seems to help. Nothings helping. I’m just going to be stuck like this forever. I want to cry, I want to break down. I’m sick of living in fear. I’m sick of questioning my sanity. Now I’m spiraling that maybe I am schizophrenic or psychotic and this is just the beginning and it’s just going to get worse from here and I’ll end up losing myself and my mind/sanity. What if I lose the ones I love around me because they can’t stand me anymore. Im worried im not going to be myself anymore and im never going to recover and its just going to get worse.

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