- Date posted
- 26w
Political differences rocd?? Living in a nightmare
First time posting This recent election and all the news and the legislative changes have really flaired up my rocd (possibly, I’m not even sure exactly why I spun out of control recently, by the way I am a woman). My boyfriend isn’t extremely conservative but considers himself more towards the middle though he does have some more traditional values. He doesn’t hate Trump. I’m very liberal. I hate Trump, I can understand some of what he does to an extent but I’ve never liked him and I think he’s a terrible person and lately the political stuff I’m seeing is a lot: These past few weeks have been worse and days ago I tried to call him and tell him I wanted to talk about going on a break but instantly regretted it. I’m working on it with my therapist and I do think my bf could be more supportive of my emotions through this time but he just doesn’t get how this is as stressful to me as it is. Anyway my mind bounces from one thing to another all. The. Time. And I need to do something about it, I need to figure it out. It’s always about him something about him and I love him very much and he treats me so well and loves me, but I constantly analyze my relationship and him in general, I’m worried my cpstd exacerbates this more and makes it worse. I don’t use TikTok ever anymore bc of hiw political my feed is (I’m passionate about human rights,the lgbt, I guess things really viewed these days as left-leaning, he isn’t as into it as I am) Everytime I open TikTok I feel like I need to break up with my bf because he’s a fascist,sexist, etc. is what the videos tell me and make me think bc of how high political tensions are right now . a lot of the posts are talking about how sad they are that their guy doesn’t get them and the comments are like you need to dump him which makes me even more worried. Or they’re super black and white and extreme and then I get stuck. I hate black and white thinking and this online culture, I’m really freaked out. I’m planning on starting ERP soon as I can. I’ve had ocd since I was a child but wasn’t diagnosed till this year (21) and my biggest theme has been rocd the past 3 years since I met him. I didn’t know what was happening to me till I learned I had ocd. It feels so urgent and so scary and even if it’s something that isn’t actually happening or wouldn’t have a possibility of happening for many years (ex. Us arguing over reading a book about a dad accepting his son who likes traditionally girly things, and then this makes me think I need to break up with him to stop the possibility of this happening.) I hate the way ocd works. This isn’t the only thing my ocd makes me do and it’s not the only theme but it sure is the worst and most stressful to me right now. Any advice in the moment for when things become too much to handle? I’ll take anything. I wish my brain had more nuance, this is why I don’t use TikTok anymore. Too triggering. I didn’t use it until today, Today’s the first ok day I’ve had in weeks so thank god I didn’t open TikTok like 3 days ago.