- Date posted
- 26w
I am the mother of an adult child with ocd.
Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed
It can be overwhelming to see your child struggle with this or any condition. Just try and be there for them if they need someone to listen and whatever they tell you doesn't define them, it proves they're strong enough to face the struggles and done the hardest part, telling their closest people what's happening
I sort of understand I have a child who's schizophrenic and I try so hard to help her and understand I don't think anyone can understand what they are going through as a parent ww want to be there for them. It has made my OCD way worse when she was diagnosed her grandmother on her dad's side of the family was also schizophrenic. I do think that something traumatic can make OCD worse it is difficult but as a parent ww have to be positive and be there for them and try to understand
@Carebear3271 Thank you.
Hi, thank you for the vulnerability here. You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed with supporting loved ones with OCD. Often how we want to support them does not actually support the person, it ends up fueling OCD and keeping our loved one from recovering. I hope that your loved one is in good care with an ERP specialist. We have a few resources you may be interested in; I've attached them below. Supporting someone with OCD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZVIeBV9M-c Reassurance and OCD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jzHHjSI4Ek
Big hug to you. I can't imagine what that's like. Here is an article that may be helpful to you in your situation: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-to-lovingly-detach-from-our-childs-ocd-and-anxiety
So am I! Yikes, what a challenge! As parents, we think can do the same for any of kids whether they have OCD or not. But people with OCD do not benefit from reassurance (such as 'don't worry, you won't get sick, etc.) In fact, reassurance makes OCD worse! So does doing as the adult child asks in order to alleviate their stress (for example washing your hands or doing something a specific way to calm them down.) The best we can do as parents is to instill confidence (you've got this!) and assert yourself as unwilling to give in to their OCD's demands. There is much more to this! Here is an article that may be helpful. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-is-actually-making-you-less-assured
It's so hard to love an adult child who suffers but will not seek help. So much time wasted and lost when they should be building a life for themselves they love. Breaks my heart every day. My son can not keep a job due to ocd and it's really ripped his self esteem to pieces. He now obsesses over politics on tv to the point he is angry with everyone around them for not being ampted up as much as he is and it's ruining his relationships. It's heartbreaking.
My struggles with OCD began in childhood, but it wasn’t until after giving birth to my first child at 30 that I finally received a diagnosis. For years, I suffered in silence with intense anxiety, insomnia, and intrusive thoughts, but because my compulsions were mostly mental—constant rumination, reassurance-seeking, and avoidance—I didn’t realize I had OCD. I experienced Pure O, where my mind would latch onto terrifying thoughts, convincing me something was deeply wrong with me. After my son was born, I was consumed by intrusive fears of harming him, even though I loved him more than anything. Seven weeks into postpartum, I hit a breaking point and ended up in the emergency room, where I was finally diagnosed. For the first time, everything made sense. I didn’t discover exposure and response prevention (ERP) until years later when my son developed Germ OCD during COVID. I went through the program myself first, and it completely changed my life. ERP helped me sit with my intrusive thoughts instead of reacting to them, breaking the cycle that had controlled me for so long. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s so much better than before. I can finally be present instead of trapped in my head. Now, I’m working on trusting myself more and handling challenges without fear of “losing control.” As I prepare to help my daughter start therapy, I feel empowered knowing I’m giving my children the support I never had. If you know you have OCD but haven’t started therapy yet, what’s holding you back?
Please comment. Just say if follows along the OCD pattern or not. I don't need reassurance per se! My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt/a**aulted her that I might as well do something else to hurt because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it because my mind told me I had hurt her already ("my mind literally made me question what to do and I guess the only thing I could come up with was using my elbow) and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side/thigh area. Which caused another very unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. And I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD? This has all caused me a great amount of anxiety. I feel like a terrible person and mom. I just need help knowing if this is OCD. Not wanting reassurance. Just wanting to know if this lines up with the POCD I've been diagnosed with by my current therapist.
My son has Pure O religious/scrupulosity with GAD and Bipolar. My son was diagnosed with Pure O religious OCD two years ago. He has to complete a task so that God doesn’t send him to hell if he doesn’t do it. These tasks are dangerous like doing multiple back flips on concrete, or jumping off balconies three times, doing MMA slams on his back three times. The thoughts are telling him if he doesn’t do this he will go to hell. Or he is so worried about blaspheming the holy spirt and loose his salvation. He knows this is his OCD. He knows the scripture and that God is one of peace and love. Been there and done that on quoting scripture and reminding him he is saved. I can see the torture he is going through and it is painful to watch. He also needs to be stuck next to me at all times cuz it makes him feel safe. This is impeding on my life as I feel I have a toddler again, he is 24 and a former 4 star football player. He wants this to stop, he is in therapy and working on it. He was free from these thoughts from November 2023 till April 2025. He is dealing with narcissistic trauma with his father and this triggers the OCD. My question is what can I do to support and help him through these episodes and not agitate him and to help him heal?
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