- Date posted
- 28w
I am the mother of an adult child with ocd.
Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed
It can be overwhelming to see your child struggle with this or any condition. Just try and be there for them if they need someone to listen and whatever they tell you doesn't define them, it proves they're strong enough to face the struggles and done the hardest part, telling their closest people what's happening
I sort of understand I have a child who's schizophrenic and I try so hard to help her and understand I don't think anyone can understand what they are going through as a parent ww want to be there for them. It has made my OCD way worse when she was diagnosed her grandmother on her dad's side of the family was also schizophrenic. I do think that something traumatic can make OCD worse it is difficult but as a parent ww have to be positive and be there for them and try to understand
@Carebear3271 Thank you.
Hi, thank you for the vulnerability here. You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed with supporting loved ones with OCD. Often how we want to support them does not actually support the person, it ends up fueling OCD and keeping our loved one from recovering. I hope that your loved one is in good care with an ERP specialist. We have a few resources you may be interested in; I've attached them below. Supporting someone with OCD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZVIeBV9M-c Reassurance and OCD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jzHHjSI4Ek
Big hug to you. I can't imagine what that's like. Here is an article that may be helpful to you in your situation: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-to-lovingly-detach-from-our-childs-ocd-and-anxiety
So am I! Yikes, what a challenge! As parents, we think can do the same for any of kids whether they have OCD or not. But people with OCD do not benefit from reassurance (such as 'don't worry, you won't get sick, etc.) In fact, reassurance makes OCD worse! So does doing as the adult child asks in order to alleviate their stress (for example washing your hands or doing something a specific way to calm them down.) The best we can do as parents is to instill confidence (you've got this!) and assert yourself as unwilling to give in to their OCD's demands. There is much more to this! Here is an article that may be helpful. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-is-actually-making-you-less-assured
It's so hard to love an adult child who suffers but will not seek help. So much time wasted and lost when they should be building a life for themselves they love. Breaks my heart every day. My son can not keep a job due to ocd and it's really ripped his self esteem to pieces. He now obsesses over politics on tv to the point he is angry with everyone around them for not being ampted up as much as he is and it's ruining his relationships. It's heartbreaking.
Please comment. Just say if follows along the OCD pattern or not. I don't need reassurance per se! My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt/a**aulted her that I might as well do something else to hurt because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it because my mind told me I had hurt her already ("my mind literally made me question what to do and I guess the only thing I could come up with was using my elbow) and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side/thigh area. Which caused another very unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. And I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD? This has all caused me a great amount of anxiety. I feel like a terrible person and mom. I just need help knowing if this is OCD. Not wanting reassurance. Just wanting to know if this lines up with the POCD I've been diagnosed with by my current therapist.
My son has Pure O religious/scrupulosity with GAD and Bipolar. My son was diagnosed with Pure O religious OCD two years ago. He has to complete a task so that God doesn’t send him to hell if he doesn’t do it. These tasks are dangerous like doing multiple back flips on concrete, or jumping off balconies three times, doing MMA slams on his back three times. The thoughts are telling him if he doesn’t do this he will go to hell. Or he is so worried about blaspheming the holy spirt and loose his salvation. He knows this is his OCD. He knows the scripture and that God is one of peace and love. Been there and done that on quoting scripture and reminding him he is saved. I can see the torture he is going through and it is painful to watch. He also needs to be stuck next to me at all times cuz it makes him feel safe. This is impeding on my life as I feel I have a toddler again, he is 24 and a former 4 star football player. He wants this to stop, he is in therapy and working on it. He was free from these thoughts from November 2023 till April 2025. He is dealing with narcissistic trauma with his father and this triggers the OCD. My question is what can I do to support and help him through these episodes and not agitate him and to help him heal?
My husband and I have 3 kids.. ages 13, 7 & 1. Our 13 year old has always been somewhat “different”, even as a toddler. He was very quiet and socially awkward. Not much has changed in that department. He isn’t into sports and has a very hard time finding anything at all that interests him. He doesn’t have many friends as he is still awkward and has a hard time fitting in. He has OCD. Specifically moral OCD. He feels like he has to confess everything to me that he feels isn’t appropriate. Curse words he hears on tv, something off-color that he or his friends said at school, anything sexual he hears on tv or in a joke. He laughingly tells me but he is reading my face to gauge my reaction on the subject every time. We tell him constantly that he doesn’t have to confess to us but, of course, those who know much about OCD know that this is harder than just simply telling them they don’t have to give into their compulsions. He is very anxious and worries about everything. He also has inattentive ADHD so he’s currently on medicine for that but can’t tell if it’s actually helping anything or not. He’s on anxiety meds too that we are trying to assess. Honestly, we have also wondered if he may be on the spectrum but high-functioning. Not sure. We are very worried about his future. He is not maturing and doesn’t care to learn how to better himself since he’s getting older. Anyway, now that I’ve given a little background, my reason for posting is that I wonder if we have created all of this. First of all.. I am a hovering mom. Im very overprotective and have a hard time letting my kids do much because I’m anxious myself. I grew up with a yelling mom and stepdad. Sadly, I have resorted to this trauma behavior much of my son’s life as well. I try my hardest not to lose my temper and yell but, I am very ashamed to say, that I haven’t been able to do a very good job with that. I have been overly critical also. Learned behavior. I will add that we are also a religious family that goes to church and follows the Bible. My husband was raised differently. His parents are very mild mannered and calm. Very sweet with my husband and his sister growing up and they aren’t “yellers”. They live out in the country and are very lax about many rules when my children go out there. Not that they let them do whatever they want but at the same time… they do seem to have a hard time saying no. My sister in law and her family live across the street from my in laws so they’re all out in the country together living their peaceful, carefree life. 🙄 They seem to think that my husband and I have brought all of this on ourselves with how we have so many rules and boundaries. They’re of the mindset that we should be exposing him to movies with curse words and letting him hear innnapropriate things and curse words more. This is how they parent their 10 year old (who is homeschooled so.. in my opinion they don’t have to worry so much about him repeating the curse words at school. We are at a Christian, private school where I also teach so it’s a bigger deal making sure my kids don’t hear those things and repeat). Anyway.. first and foremost, I’m looking for advice on how to reverse the damage from me losing my temper these last 13 years. I swear I am trying my hardest and strive everyday to be a good mom. I want so badly for them to WANT to keep a close relationship with us when they become adults living on their own. But I am so scared I’m ruining them. Does it seem to be the case? Also, do you think we have caused this OCD? Be honest with everything please. I am constantly very worried we are doing this wrong.
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