- Date posted
- 8w ago
I am the mother of an adult child with ocd.
Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed
It can be overwhelming to see your child struggle with this or any condition. Just try and be there for them if they need someone to listen and whatever they tell you doesn't define them, it proves they're strong enough to face the struggles and done the hardest part, telling their closest people what's happening
I sort of understand I have a child who's schizophrenic and I try so hard to help her and understand I don't think anyone can understand what they are going through as a parent ww want to be there for them. It has made my OCD way worse when she was diagnosed her grandmother on her dad's side of the family was also schizophrenic. I do think that something traumatic can make OCD worse it is difficult but as a parent ww have to be positive and be there for them and try to understand
@Carebear3271 Thank you.
Hi, thank you for the vulnerability here. You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed with supporting loved ones with OCD. Often how we want to support them does not actually support the person, it ends up fueling OCD and keeping our loved one from recovering. I hope that your loved one is in good care with an ERP specialist. We have a few resources you may be interested in; I've attached them below. Supporting someone with OCD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZVIeBV9M-c Reassurance and OCD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jzHHjSI4Ek
Big hug to you. I can't imagine what that's like. Here is an article that may be helpful to you in your situation: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-to-lovingly-detach-from-our-childs-ocd-and-anxiety
So am I! Yikes, what a challenge! As parents, we think can do the same for any of kids whether they have OCD or not. But people with OCD do not benefit from reassurance (such as 'don't worry, you won't get sick, etc.) In fact, reassurance makes OCD worse! So does doing as the adult child asks in order to alleviate their stress (for example washing your hands or doing something a specific way to calm them down.) The best we can do as parents is to instill confidence (you've got this!) and assert yourself as unwilling to give in to their OCD's demands. There is much more to this! Here is an article that may be helpful. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-is-actually-making-you-less-assured
My ocd is ruining my relationship with my kids. Because of the intrusive thoughts I avoid being close to them, hugging or cuddling up to watch tv. My ocd is either telling me I wouldn’t care if harm came to them or it turns everything into something sexual or inappropriate. For example, my daughter wanted to show me how long her nails are so she started scratching my arm gently. It felt so nice and relaxing and I immediately panicked because I was scared the ocd would cause a groinal and I don’t ever, ever want a feeling like that connected with my child even though I know it’s the ocd causing it and not me i’d still feel horrible. I just want to be a normal loving affectionate mom and I can never be that for my kids because of ocd😪 I don’t see any other parents posting about going through this or commenting that they do and how they cope. I feel so alone and defeated.
Every day my ocd makes sure there’s a new reason for me to stay trapped in my mind rather than being the mom I want to be that my kids need. Instead i’m stuck in my head depressed and pushing them away. The other day I was braiding my daughter’s hair like I always do and her hair is really long so when I get to the end of the braid I can see her butt in my peripheral vision and I looked down and I immediately got upset asking myself why did I look down?(the ocd has made me question everything I do now). I know it’s just because I was at the end of the braid and I just looked because I was already looking in that direction. A normal person wouldn’t even think twice about it. There was no inappropriate reason behind it at all but of course my ocd latched onto the situation and said I looked down because I wanted to look at her butt. I was so upset and said to myself “I don’t understand how the ocd started an intrusive thought because she was wearing baggy pants. I could understand if she had on tight pants and her butt was more noticeable” and the only reason I said that is because usually the only time my ocd starts intrusive thoughts telling me i’m looking at my daughter in a wrong way is when she has on leggings or a crop top or bathing suit ect. Now my ocd twisted what I said to mean that I like looking at her in tight pants. Nooo! That’s not what I meant but now the ocd won’t stop trying to make me believe that. I don’t ever look at my children in any inappropriate way. I hate this. I hate ocd and I can’t live like this anymore.
This flare up is getting worse. So my son brought me a paper he needed signed for school yesterday and I asked him to get me a pen. As he got the pen I was just looking at him and unintentionally glanced over his private area and immediately freaked out with guilt. My ocd started telling me I was staring and that I wanted to look there. I know I wasn’t staring and I don’t ever want to look there. Anytime I accidentally catch a glimpse of my children’s private areas I always immediately look away and feel so guilty even though it wasn’t intentional or wanted but my ocd is making me believe I did stare and now the memory of it is blurred the more I try to remember it exactly to disprove the ocd. I feel horrible and I don’t know how I can ever get past this. 😪
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