I am really scared to kiss a guy

I am a 21(female). I have only ever kissed one guy and it was horrible and I cried after. I stress about my sexuality constantly. I only want to be straight and know I want to end up with a man, but picturing it stressed me out and I am so scared to kiss a guy I think about it and get so stressed and cry immediately. I have severe intrusive thoughts about kissing everyone my teachers my best friends and it creeps me out and then I go down a rabbit hole of sexual orientation ocd! If anyone has any tips that might help that would be great. Again I don’t want or think I am gay but being so scared to be intimate with a man starts me down a spiral.

wigglebottom

Date posted: 8w ago

Hey! I totally hear how u are stressed about it- especially when there is so many societal rules around sexuality. I know it’s hard to not focus on it- after a few deep breaths try to think of sexuality just as any feeling you have that comes up. There’s no pressure to put a label on anything, just follow what your heart is telling u which I know is so hard to hear when so stressed- the nervous system goes wild! There is really no pressure to have feelings in ways that people say. And if they come they come! I find that stressing about it makes it a lot worse bc it blocks how I am actually feeling and I can’t access myself. U are not alone❤️ listen to yourself after using some coping mechanisms to gage :)

captain_kapai

Date posted: 8w ago

Also some of us don’t want to kiss anyone or get intimate with anyone and that is completely fine, too. Life holds space for so many kinds of connections, friendships and trusted acquaintances, family if you like, pop culture has put so much pressure on romantic relationships being so important. It is not for everyone. I am just writing this because not everybody knows about aromatic or asexual orientation, don’t mean to trigger you with this.

Jax.Saw.The ...

Date posted: 8w ago

Enjoy being single. There is always this pressure from society about being in a relationship but there are no rules about when that needs to happen. When your mind says you want kiss all those people, that means it’s your OCD. I know you think being able to kiss a boy will reassure you your straight but this gos deeper then that. When you find a guy you want to be with you will know 😇. Sometimes if you are able to redirect your thoughts those other thoughts lose some power.

rugirl48!

Date posted: 8w ago

Thank you guys that really helps! It is so hard when the thoughts are in your head. I feel like writing it down or telling someone always helps, but I know that can be a compulsion. It’s also hard cuz this is so new to me and having all these thoughts makes me think they are real when I used to never question this ever!!

Alexotl

Date posted: 8w ago

I also struggle with kissing but with contamination ocd. One thing a friend told me that helped is that you don’t have to like kissing and it’s ok if that’s just an aspect of relationships that you don’t enjoy!

shopgirl

Date posted: 24w ago

Imagining the future

Does anyone else with SO-OCD struggle with imagining a future partner and checking feelings? That’s been my biggest compulsion, and now I feel like I don’t want to end up with a man someday, or that if I do I’ll feel sad or lonely. I’m also sitting here imagining being with women and I can’t tell if I like the sexual thoughts or not anymore, or if my negative reactions mean anything. My face scrunches and I feel anxious and my temperature rises. I’ve been off this app for a couple weeks but still feeling anxiety pretty steadily. I keep imagining the future and getting this feeling and voice that I’m gay and I need to come out to everyone. It’s distressing and I don’t feel like myself anymore

Sexual Orientation OCD

cows12465

Date posted: 19w ago

please help me

can someone with this theme help me i’m so scared and i can’t stop having panic attacks is this OCD??? So i always have struggled most with sucicidal ocd and harm ocd. i never really had any other themes. but recently ive struggled with SOOCD. My whole life i have never EVER been into girls ever and i could never even think of ever being with a girl in my entire life. i’m having extreme amounts of anxiety and i have compulsions to make sure i look at a girl and don’t feel anything towards them or anything. My mind is literally going “what if your just in denial” or “what if you’ve just been hiding it all these years” When i know i haven’t. i have all of the symptoms of SOOCD and i still know that im not gay,but these thoughts are extremely distressing and have been the worse to deal with. I’m constantly panicking and doing compulsions to get these thoughts to leave and they won’t. i’m scared and these thoughts are making my mind scared. What if i’m going against my morals and i’m lying to myself like and i just went through a tough breakup too so that is shooting these thoughts and anxiety. Please help omg!!!

vizzy15

Date posted: 10w ago

So-ocd

Im a 21 year old female in a straight relationship with the best guy a girl could ever ask for. About 2 months ago, I went to get coffee with a friend and as I dropped her off, I got a “weird” vibe from her and the look she gave me which lead to the thought of “should I kiss her”….Ive never had a thought like that before and I never have ever wanted to kiss another girl. I have also never had a desire to be with another girl (sexually or romantically). Now though, I have had one other experience of being with a different friend going to get lunch and it felt weird. Ever since then I have been on google non stop with hundreds of different searches, questioning if im lying to myself of my boyfriend, wondering about my past relationships even though Ive only dated boys, been attracted to boys, crushed on boys, etc… boy crazy! Reading on other forums has been a big thing too or doing quizzes. I believe its SO-OCD but im so scared that what if its not. I am in therapy and actually had two weeks of not even thinking about it or googling it until yesterday. I dont know what to do.

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I am really scared to kiss a guy

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