confession or real?

my spouse cheated on me on our wedding night and i haven't gotten over it. they never told their parents and i was resentful their parents didn't know. so i called them and told them today. it felt good in the moment to have that extra support from my in-laws but im freaking out now that i have to confess to my partner and they will feel betrayed by me and leave me. is this confession OCD or a real fear? i'm really freaking out.

Anonymous

Date posted: 13d ago

Okay 1. You don't "get over" that. That's the most disgusting twisted thing someone can do on their wedding night. 2. YOUR PARTNER BETRAYED YOU FIRST. I would've left them first. In fact I would've gone ballistic. I would've aired out everything I know about them. All their embarrassing secrets. Let them feel humiliated since they just love being passed around by everyone, why not their secrets too? I dont deal with this kind of Issue, but this is the best advice I have. Don't take my word for everything, I have a tendency to be a vengeful person, but what I'm saying is let them be mad. If they're gone I'm sure it'll be a gift. They're clearly messed up in the head to do that to their partner and then feel "betrayed" by people knowing.

apricotallie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12d ago

thank you guys. i agree with you. i go back and forth on remembering my worth and feeling like a piece of shit like i betrayed them. it just sucks i feel like im between a rock and a hard place. i really want to tell them that i told their mom and apologize but now their mom is calling me and telling me to delete texts between her and i and pretend i never told her because she's worried it'll ruin our relationship. it just sucks i feel soooo shady. i'm not a liar and i do not morally agree with her telling me to do that. i feel insane.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12d ago

Just remember that your partner already ruined your relationship when they did that. It's THEIR fault. Not yours. If they can't do the time they shouldn't do the crime. It's the fact you even let it continue past that in the first place.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 13d ago

This doesn’t sound like OCD to me. It seems more like you’re in a situation where you’re depending on someone who doesn’t show you the respect you deserve. I know it’s tough, but honestly, if you want to stay with this person, therapy is a must for both of you. You deserve so much better, and therapy could either strengthen your relationship or help you realize you don’t need to settle for this. If your partner gets upset, that’s a huge sign that they *really* don’t respect you. The person above is right about everything they said. I’m not trying to sound harsh, you need to see your worth. When they cheated, they didn’t care about you, and now you’re worried about them being mad because their parents found out about THEIR actions? It’s a huge sign that you care way more than they do, and that’s not right. If OCD is involved, it’s more about obsessing over things. The bigger issue is how you’re letting them have all the control. My final piece of advice: get angry, not “over it.” You don’t have to just get over something that hurt you. It’s okay to feel that anger.

Anonymous

Date posted: 13d ago

Yeah the only reason I said to take what I say with a grain of salt is because I'm the type who would literally pop 3 of the their tires, leave sugar in their gas tank, destroy all their consoles and most prized possessions, air them out, and become their lifelong arch nemesis with the goal of making them feel as much pain as they made me feel.💀💀 like their partner isn't even my partner and I'm like feeling the urge to wanna obliterate them just for having the sheer AUDACITY.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 13d ago

@Anonymous lol and see, I’m the total opposite, I’m a the biggest people pleaser, but I still fully agree with you.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 10w ago

I’m sick of confessing, advice please

I don’t know how to stop confessing. It’s driving me insane. I confess every little thing to my boyfriend. I confessed that I liked attention (this is so obviously human), that I liked it when people found me pretty (also very human??) I confessed about a million other things and I feel out of control. I felt so safe with him last night that it just started pouring out of me. I felt guilty and awful and I just needed release, I couldn’t breathe I felt like I was dying. I’m stuck in a confessing loop and I know I’m only making things worse. Has anyone experienced this and been able to overcome it? It feels absolutely horrible and impossible. I tried to ERP this and I genuinely feel like I am suffocating if I hold off. I feel so disappointed in myself, but I can’t seem to stop. I even had a dream where I confessed to him and woke up needed to confess that. I’m scared I’ll start sharing my worst intrusive thoughts I’ve had if I feel too safe around my bf. Help please :(

Dalia H.

Date posted: 24d ago

ChatGPT said I cheated.

I was doing fine today until I asked ChatGPT if i cheated and they said it could count as emotional cheating if you are engaging in intense daydreams and looking someone up on social media to feed a fantasy about them. My partner and I already spoke about me fantasizing about this person and he said it was totally fine since it happened in my head and he has had crushes and fantasies on coworkers too. However I feel absolutely devastated and wrecked with guilt and anxiety and panic right now. I genuinely feel like a horrible horrible horrible cheater. I don’t know what to do. I have therapy scheduled for later this week but I really really need some advice right now!!! I feel like it could count as cheating since it did happen during a few weeks where i felt a bit distant from my partner and I feel like the daydreaming was excessive. I am so so scared. Do I confess? Do I tell him I cheated? He already told me once that cheating is a physical interaction (and I literally have not interacted with this person outside of surface level responses in a group server that my partner is also a part of). Do I have a moral obligation to tell him I cheated? I need to know.

Anonymous

Date posted: 24d ago

Confession need

I just got off my session today and after having a confession to my husband last night with a compulsion, he obviously is going to have more questions. My therapist says not to confess because I am growing my OCD . However, this is really OCD and is about something that actually happened. My husband said, that it sounds like I have someone in my life who is justifying withholding information or lying to him. Of course when I have my obsession compulsions, he makes sense. Can somebody help explain this to me? How is my husband not right or is he?

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