I think I might have impulse control problems

Just now, I was driving and I made it to a four-way stop and I made it to the stop and I thought it was my turn to go. I started to turn and this other car from my right started driving too and so I just kind of made a confused face because I was confused. He on the other hand, made a confuse face back at me like I was stupid and kept driving. After that without much thinking, I just turned to follow him and while I was driving behind him, I felt bad because I did not want him to think that I was actually after him. And then I kept on driving so he wouldn’t think I was trying to follow him, but it was in that moment where I just didn’t think and turned behind him. I was a little upset, but only because he made a face like I was dumb. Now I’m having thoughts of just thinking that I’m a stalker and I’m gonna follow him and hurt him when I know I was just a little upset, but didn’t wanna do anything. I promise you I legit just turned after him without much thinking and while following him felt the intrusive thoughts and stuff. Was made to fight even worse is that while waiting for food I had ordered over an app, I couldn’t fight the thought of just going back to where he turned off the street after I kept going to stop “following” him, so I went back down there on the spur of moment and making me feel bad again. I don’t wanna hurt anybody and I don’t want to stalk anybody. It was literally just an impulsive thing but now I feel scared about myself.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 23w

Yeah, OCD can distort anything. I’m scared of that impulsive stuff too, but it’s just OCD trying to freak you out. Impulsivity usually doesn’t go against our morals. Like, if you slap someone in a fit of rage, it’s not a moral failure, it’s an impulsive mistake that you would take responsibility for. If you had a knife in your hand and thought about stabbing someone, that’s an alarming thought that goes against your morals, and you’d likely be very aware and freaked out by it. Getting upset while driving and momentarily following someone closely isn’t a moral mistake either. It’s actually so freaking common, not necessarily great but common. Just like road rage unfortunately. The important part is being aware and stopping anything that *could* turn into a mistake. We all make mistakes, though, it’s part of being human. Going back to where it happened, was likely a checking compulsion to see if you wanted to stalk someone, essentially trying to figure out how you felt then. Unfortunately, OCD loves to use our compulsions against us too. It’s using your checking compulsion against you, as “proof.” You are *catastrophizing* right now, it’s a compulsion. Ruminating as well. I’m well acquainted with both lol, this will pass 🫂

FoxMan

Date posted: 23w

@issphra 🫶🏻 Thank you for this! As soon as I turned after them, I told myself this was stupid and regretted it after actually thinking about what I was doing. It was like a split second decision and I realized I didn’t want to do anything at all, and I had just did it. It’s so weird too because you can know that it was off impulse, meaning you really didn’t think about it much, but you do it anyway. I might have ADHD but I’m not sure. But thank you! Also, I have an issue were I try to “prove my case” so people won’t think I’m a bad person, but I’m going to try and not do that 😅

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 23w

@FoxMan I have ADHD lmfao so while I haven’t had the same exact experience, this has happened to me with COUNTLESS other things and I always start catastrophizing because I’ll be terrified my that impulsivity will lead me to an awful decision. Also that whole “prove my case” stuff, OMG GENUINELY ME. I literally daydream about clearing up misunderstandings that haven’t even happened. You’re *really* not alone :)

Tanza_night67

Date posted: 24w

Intrusive thoughts of Hurting others

I have this issue where I can vividly imagine hurting others or animals or say things OUTLOUD that may be disruptive or disrespectful becauss I am overstimulated by soemthing someone is doing or saying. So, Over stimulation with people and animals and things they do can be a big part of it, Sometimes I will see soemthing that bothers me about someone and I just want to either fix it or hit them because they make me so overstimulated I just want to hit the problem. I never act on these things obviously but SOMETIMES it leaks out and I hit my hands together to calm the urges. I really don’t like imagining hurting others but when I get mad I obsess over what I would or could do to them or might or would’ve in a situation in the past, had it planned out differently. I keep thinking about it and thinking about it and then get upset with myself because I know it’s wrong to be thinking about hurting others and it worries me I may someday act on something impulsive and harm someone. Sometimes I cry about it because I never want to hurt people. Really I don’t. Most of these thoughts happen in milliseconds and I have a second part in my brain like a THOUGHT processor/auto corrective thinking reminding me I can’t do that because it’s morally wrong and I am too good of a person to do that and there is nothing to stress over.

tayanominous

Date posted: 23w

Did I act on the thoughts?

I worry people might get the wrong idea when I share this but I must post it because I’m scared so basically this is gonna sound weird but I have always sorta been a violent kid but in a normal way if that makes sense like if someone tris over I would find the ridiculously funny but what kinda confuses me is when loved ones hurt themselves I laugh it’s not like I’m putting it on idk I just randomly laugh and i find funny please don’t think I’m a bad person because I’m really not and I’m scared abt this but that’s not the point of this story so I will get to the pint now so basically I was walking upstairs and I hit my head on the door and my mum laughed at me and I said “its not funny I hit my head” and she said something else that made me angry I can’t remember and then I started to charge at her like I was gonna hit her or something and it scared me cuz I wanted to push her or something ( not harmful just like as a back off kinda thing) which I know it’s horrible writing it out but then while I had that urge to push it her or something I also got a groinal so then OCD was like ”you were gonna s3xualy attack just then and you liked it” and now I’m to scared to go near her just in case it happens again cuz I’ve been in a spiral for days now, again please don’t tell me I’m a bad person cuz I already feel like that cuz writing it out it sounds worse then it is irl im sorry if this was triggering and please reply and tell me your thoughts on this.

Aphid123

Date posted: 21w

Is this even OCD?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

I think I might have impulse control problems

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community