any tips for this stuff?

i keep having this stupid ass checking or obsession, idk to grab a piece of metal and see if ill put it in the microwave and make it blow up or burn the house down or something and im getting so so fucking tired of this shit, ill explain the story how it happened (cause of one incident where i did give in to the checking to the point of putting a magnet in the microwave, hitting the timer but immeditaetly stopping it, then starting it again, stopping quickly, all while screaming at myself to stop cause im terrified what im doing, then my dad came to see what was wrong and when i showed the magnet, he gave me this look of...fear? dissapointment? like i am a danger, even heard him telling my mom later how they need to be careful with me or else i could burn down the house, thankfully my mom knows my ocd a decent amount and brushed off his fear and comforted me, but ever since that day) Now my brain loves to torture me with the idea im a one slip up away from burning the house down, so ill be grabbing metal and seeing if ill put it in the microwave, and thing is, because how scary it is, its hard for me to breath or be calm, all i can do is scream and eventually call my mom when i can get myself to finally speak to tell my alexa to call mom im so tired of this shit and i dont know how to approach it

redbud

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

I struggled with Harm OCD too. It’s difficult to have a single moment of giving in. It can keep you stuck for a long time because our brains treat it as “proof”. I’m not a therapist, but it sounds to me like calling your parents to check on you is a safety behavior you’re engaging in. Having them come “stop” you from burning the house down reassures you that you won’t. This is likely what’s keeping you stuck. I imagine the fear of losing control of yourself is why you think you might hurt your family, even though you don’t want to at all. My advice would be to go sit in the kitchen with the magnet and hold it. Look at your microwave and hold the magnet out. If that scares you, good. Do that and simply resist running away or calling your parents. Start by doing that for just a few minutes. If you feel like you need to call your parents, try getting up and going back to your room. The goal is to expose yourself to your fear without giving into your compulsion to reassure yourself you won’t hurt anyone.

Aquario

Date posted: 23w

on paper that sounds fine, but the issue is the fact i freak out intensely, like, screaming so loud the neighbors likely can hear me, kind of screaming

redbud

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

@Aquario I’m sorry to hear that. if it’s that extreme try an easier exposure. maybe try writing down “I might burn the house down” or some similar scary harm based thought and then reading that out loud to yourself and sitting with the distress

Aquario

Date posted: 23w

@redbud - that sounds better, an old therapist of mine recommened i do something like that for 2-5 minutes to ease into it (shes was in a state i was only visiting so sadly she cant help me now) but sounds good!

Aquario

Date posted: 23w

@Aquario - okay so was thinking and thought about your first message, i tried this instead, so the 2-5 minute of repeating my thoughts and looking directly at the object that triggers, (ie, metal, a bottle of coins i have in my room) and just sitting there, doing nothin, as i breath and repeat stuff like "what if i put it in the microwave?" and sometimes holding my hand a liiiiittle bit foward but keeping it still as i say it

Aquario

Date posted: 23w

@Aquario - results went well for a first try

redbud

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

You can do it! I used to sit at my kitchen table holding a knife, and say I’d slit my wrists. It was so fucking scary - I really thought I might. But I never did because I didnt want to. I learned the fear of these thoughts is proof we really won’t do them, even if the risk feels so real and scary. Baby steps. You can do it friend I’ve got your back 💪

🖤BrokenChaos🖤

Date posted: 23w

These are mental compulsions and intrusive thoughts. Is there anything I can do to help?

jesse333

Date posted: 25w

is this ocd if so what one is it?

when im doing everyday stuff like brushing my teeth.when im finished i have to throw the toothbrush in the cabinet but i cant look at it after i thrown it i have to run away and my brain tells me if its in the right place and if it isn’t i have to go back and throw it again and again till i get it right which makes me late to lots of things especially school. i also have these quite triggering voices in my head all the time which say stuff like ‘if yu don’t throw this glass yu dad is going to die tomorrow and when i try to ignore the voices bad stuff happens and people die the only thing i can think of doing is ending my life to stop hurting others. it’s like im a monster and idk what i should do.

annakonw

Date posted: 22w

Some form of contamination ocd?

Trigger warning ⚠️ , Hi, I’m Anna, I’m a young adult in my senior year of high-school. I’m not sure what subtype of ocd this may be but my obsession changes, usually one lasts 3 months- a year and it’s been like this since I was a small child. For example it used to be an obsession over sweat, then over religion, then over getting ill. Now it’s strange, very strange but I’m afraid of my dad slipping something into my food. We have a rocky relationship and in arguments he’ll sometimes makes comments that scare me like “we should all 0ff 0urselves” or that he wants us “dead”. I also smoke pot time to time and he doesn’t approve and I’ve had this strange fear of him slipping me something stronger to “teach me a lesson” after I eat anything of his if I absolutely have too I wait an 15-60 minutes and look for any signs of illness or a high. It’s exhausting because he mainly cooks in the house and I’ve lost 5lbs this week due to this fear..it’s consuming me and may be my most exhausting obsession yet.

Aquario

Date posted: 22w

this is likely reassurance seeking but-

my panic attacks have been getting worse when the thought of harming someone comes up and today, it reached a high point, i was in the kitchen with my mom, trying to get over my fears of being near and just eat, but when my dog came in and heard me eating and walked in, i got triggered and thought i was one second away from hurting him or mom so i left the kitchen but before i could, i grabbed the scissors and panicked, and tried to get my mom for help but she was occupied, then i was trying to focus enough to put down the scissors but i couldnt and went into panic mode, i couldnt think, i couldnt focus, i slowly inched the scissors towards my mom thinking i might actually stab her in my stressed and panicked statem slowly inching the scissors towards her and scared, then she saw me, simply looked at me and said "what are you gonna do huh?" like she wasnt afraid, and that was enough to snap me out of it and put down the scissors, then i walked back to my room and here i am, trying not to call myself a monster but cant help but keep looking back at that moment, cause i really really felt like i could have...

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any tips for this stuff?

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