handling seeking reassurance in relationship ocd?

hi! i often fear im going to lose my job because i made a “mistake” (not really) that my manager caught and is waiting to tell me about or i fear im going to be kicked off the roster of a team im on for small mistakes that everyone makes. this often compels me to ask those people if i did good or not and gauge their reactions to see if theyre going to remove me and i fall into a cycle of asking and asking. how do you guys deal with these feelings / compulsions? when im flaring i often just spend as much time around these people as possible to gather “evidence” of their opinion on me, but then i get nervous that they hate me for being clingy. i also abandon other duties / tasks so i can spend time with these people to make sure they like me. what do you guys do? anyone else experience the sentiment?

MichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14d ago

I can so relate to what you’re saying. I’m in a new job and still on probation, and I’ve been scared that my supervisor hates me / thinks I’m an idiot / is going to fire me. I’ve had an urge to analyze her tone or what she says to be “prepared.” But something to keep in mind is, you will never feel certain. You will never know fully what someone is thinking or feeling. Gathering evidence does not satisfy your OCD, and it never will. If it did, we would all be cured from this disorder immediately. Do you like your job and your team?

eggees!!

Date posted: 11d ago

@MichelleV yes i do a lot! but im scared they dont like me lol. what should i do instead of finding evidence?

MichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11d ago

@eggees!! When you get the urge to find evidence or ask for reassurance, try to delay it. Think of what you like about your job, or your professional goals, and lean towards those instead of seeking reassurance. Maybe make a to do list of your tasks and duties, and remind yourself that you can accomplish those while tolerating your uncertainty.

zpeyton.c

Date posted: 16d ago

for starters, love the invincible pfp, finale was peak and my man conquest’s va was AMAZING 🙏 but anyways, i can’t necessarily relate to this but i do understand it. as harsh as it may sound, i think it’s important to remember that other people have better things to do than dislike you because of silly little things lol. again, ofc i understand it’s a LOT easier said than done, but it’s nice to observe others and THEIR worries because half the time it isn’t about you! let me know if this helped at all :)

eggees!!

Date posted: 11d ago

@zpeyton.c thanks sm:) im j scared people are awkward around me and iffy cuz they dont wanna be near me, and i wanna prove myself wrong yk. thanks tho! i love the battle beast pfp:)))

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 16d ago

Hey there, thanks for reaching out for support. Refraining from reassurance can feel incredibly difficult, even when we really want to because we can see how it could be impacting the relationships we have with others. ERP can be incredibly helpful with learning tools to interrupt, reduce and ultimately refrain from reassurance seeking. Have you considered trying it? Here's an article that might be helpful, https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/is-reassurance-seeking-good-or-bad-for-ocd?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=NOCD_PM_US&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwp8--BhBREiwAj7og1-ppAqa1Wji6qRZWKfy3SWa2lT9BWf75G2OGsqdrJ7iSiEbKglD5NxoCvXQQAvD_BwE

eggees!!

Date posted: 11d ago

@Jennifer Dalimonte ive been doing cbt and i like it quite a bit. talk therapy helps me i think a lot but im not sure

George R25

Date posted: 24w ago

Dating paranoia

I've just started dating this really great girl. She doesn't know about my ocd which is fine but I've noticed that a lot of my intrusive thoughts and worries about not following routines now revolve around losing her or her believing I'm a bad person. I just don't want this relationship to make me so paranoid. I also know have this where if I see a girl on my Instagram or on the Internet, I'll feel an overwhelming urge to clean myself and the device I viewed it on. This is part of a moral reaction and I also worry I'm not being loyal. I feel I should try and not follow through with these compulsions but as they now revolve around keeping my girlfriend I'm not sure. Any advice?

Kas_C

Date posted: 14w ago

Relationship OCD

I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?

Anonymous

Date posted: 8w ago

Relationship obsessions

I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.

Relationship OCD

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handling seeking reassurance in relationship ocd?

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