Rocky
- Date posted
- 5y
painintheocdpainintheocd
- Date posted
- 5y
So here is the deal...I've had ocd for over 20 years. You want someone to reassure you,you arent gay or losing your mind. Personally, I dont think you are gay. I think what you are experiencing is normal for those who suffer,myself included. The problem is,is that me telling you this will only calm you down temporarily.... maybe For a fee seconds. A few hours,or a few weeks even. But no matter what I say it will never truly be good enough. Your ocd will always come back!!! Untill you stop it. You have to accept the thoughts. Let them happen. Dont engage. Sounds almost impossible....it feels impossible. I'm still learning myself. Have you ever practiced mindfulness? Have you heard of it?
Rocky Rocky
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve heard of it but I’ve never understood how to put it into practice. Now I’ve just done training and I feel much better so I better get the information I need now that I’m thinking clearly before another cumpulsion kicks in
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
With OCD you have to accept the uncertainty. Whenever you’re feeling 100% sure of anything, you’re actually doing yourself a disservice. You’re setting yourself up for doubt to creep in. Live in the gray area. Black and white thinking is what got you here. The more comfortable you can make yourself with the unknown, the more you’ll heal.
AsnkuAsnku
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel this so much. In day time i am happy and i have these nice feelings about my crush (boy) and I am exited. In evening/night time sometimes I had these really bad break downs and it feels like I am lesbian in closet because I can not enjoy my thoughts with my crush even and they make me anxious sometimes too because I am afraid if I am really lesbian then? Like yeah
Rocky Rocky
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s the other way around for me ?
painintheocdpainintheocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Notice the cycle?
Rocky Rocky
- Date posted
- 5y
Not really... could you be more specific? ?
brynquinbrynquin
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey there. I was a gender and sexuality studies major in college and I’d recommend looking up some super light academic reading on the sexuality spectrum. I think it would be good exposure and also help you gain some control and clarity.
EsosaEsosa
- Date posted
- 5y
It seems like a good idea in theory but he has to be careful not to turn it into a compulsion.
brynquinbrynquin
- Date posted
- 5y
@Esosa Yes that’s true, absolutely careful. I just see so many on here with hocd and I do feel like we are in special time where we have the factual tools and resources that tell us people are not as black and white as “gay or straight”. Like it is factually sound that even if you are a man and think a man is attractive, it actually doesn’t mean you are gay at all. I’m not saying this as a type of reassurance- but exposure to the real truth and conversation about sexuality that many of us have not been exposed to (and possibly the opposite was taught to us as kids) unless we are in a liberal arts/academic setting. It’s important to remember that society teaches men they cannot go outside their “box” which I can only assume contributes to hocd issues. For people of all genders with hocd we are luckily in a time where you can expose and arm yourself with actual information about sexuality that was not available when many of us were growing up. I have my own sexual themes but mostly surrounding abuse/exploitation. Good luck friend and I hope this wasn’t preachy.
EsosaEsosa
- Date posted
- 5y
@brynquin You are right about that. Even though I do struggle with the black and white thinking that comes with HOCD, I learned some new things that can help me define myself for the time being and that sexuality is something only defined by you.
brynquinbrynquin
- Date posted
- 5y
@Esosa Love this. Yes! Good luck on your journey!
EsosaEsosa
- Date posted
- 5y
@brynquin Thank you
painintheocdpainintheocd
- Date posted
- 5y
No problem! Just hang in there. I know how hard it is...
painintheocdpainintheocd
- Date posted
- 5y
If I tell you then I'm feeding your compulsion...
painintheocdpainintheocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Its extremely hard to practice ..but it works.
Rocky Rocky
- Date posted
- 5y
And what does it consist of?
painintheocdpainintheocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Being aware. Aware of your thoughts,your emotions,the cycles,the repition. There are a couple good videos on youtube...just type in mindfulness
Rocky Rocky
- Date posted
- 5y
Very well, thanks for all your help, really.
Related posts
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 20w
I need this to end.
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
ermhiiii
- Date posted
- 18w
Hi
I just recently kind of was getting over my Constant spiral of “am I a lesbian or bi?”(im a lesbian) and now I’ve been tackled by “am I trans” even tho I’ve never questioned my gender ever, I love being a woman, and I never thought I’d ever be dealing with this since I’ve always been so sure of being a woman, anybody else?
anonymous00981
- Date posted
- 14w
Uncertainty sucks.
I’m trying to live with uncertainty but it doesn’t feel right. The “I may or may not be bi/gay” really sucks because I can’t stop ruminating, analyzing, or checking. This especially sucks because I feel like literally EVERYTHING in my life leads to the fact that I’m a fraud which feels horrible. I can’t even talk to my friends the way I used to without feeling like I’m lying about myself. The false attraction and loss of attraction to men is literally horrible because now I feel like the life i fantasized for myself isn’t something I want.
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