I was practicing mindfulness for a little bit and then I just started to relax and just kind of take in just the sensations and sounds around me and I just felt good. I almost wanted to cry.
I'm so happy for you friend. I wish I could feel that peace today.
@Anony1314 It takes practice but once you get there is great, just breathe and focus on physical sensations, but if your mind wanders that’s OK to be mindful
@spooky artist Thanks friend. I'm struggling so bad right now.
@Anony1314 I know, try to be kind to yourself
@spooky artist Thanks friend. Have you seen my posts?
@Anony1314 Oh no I haven’t
@spooky artist Could you take a look at it if you don't mind?
@Anony1314 Sure
@spooky artist I’ll see if I can find it
@spooky artist If you can't, I can comment in here if you don't care.
@Anony1314 Sure I don’t mind
@spooky artist My child was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt them that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow towards her groin area) but it came across my mind to elbow my child, and I elbowed their crotch or side area. Which caused another unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out and asked my child to move. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be theirs anymore. Idk what overcame me, and in the moment, it felt like I wanted to move my elbow, but I know that can also be my OCD speaking. Right? I clearly regret it all and hate myself. I would never intentionally hurt my child; I don't know what happened in my head when this happened. I was doing SO well! Is this my POCD that I've been diagnosed with by my OCD specialized therapist? Just a struggling mom who used to be the best of the best. I'm very depressed by this. Idk what to do with myself. I live in regret now, and I just wish it would've never ever happened. I can't stop ruminating and being depressed thinking I don't deserve anything.
@Anony1314 Oh god I’m so sorry, but don’t worry it’s just your brain trying to give you false signals or feelings, it’s an intrusive feeling
@spooky artist Try to label it as such, focus on your breath so that way you can try to break that anxiety
@spooky artist It's okay friend. But all that really happened. It's still my OCD right? Even if it all felt real in the moment, even the feelings, but I immediately felt so guilty after?
@Anony1314 It’s ocd it’s just trying to get a reaction out of you
@spooky artist But it all really happened as I posted friend, but I immediately regretted it. OCD still correct?
@Anony1314 It’s just ocd
@spooky artist All that is OCD? Thank you!
@Anony1314 Like I said just focus on your breath, I also recommend the leaves on a stream meditation
@spooky artist Thank you!! Just struggling, but it's all OCD and I just need to relax 100% correct?
@Anony1314 Yeah just look up mindfulness and also I recommend talking to a therapist about it if you get a chance
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