Rapid fire praying

This wasn’t an ocd intrusive thought necessarily. It wasn’t really a well thought out prayer either. I was in the middle of a prayer obsession. I was thinking of things I could pray for. I wanted to die, so without really thinking it out too much I thought “please let world war 3 happen, amen,” and then didn’t really care and regretted it afterward. It feels insignificant to me, but it’s bad to most people. This is a common thing with a lot of prayers and I’m not sure why. I’m not normally a malicious person. I don’t know if the difference is people think I care a ton when I do them, sit down and have a connection with god, and say them. I’m not very religious and know nothing is going to happen. This has happened for other prayers too. I don’t have a desire to keep praying for stuff like that to happen, but I did, and I did stuff like that for a lot of other things too. And I meant it in the moment, but couldn’t have care less 2 seconds afterward.

TW religious ocd OCD is turning innapropriate desires into prayers. Essentially the best way I can describe it is everyone has innapropriate desires sometimes. One example is if I’m suicidal, I wouldn’t mind if a meteor hit while I was asleep. Obviously that affects other people too, but if it’s not my fault, selfishly I want it. Well, it essentially turns that “I want this” thought into me thinking towards god “this would be nice if it happens.” Especially if it wasn’t my fault at all, I wouldn’t mind. My brain can VERY easily turn that into a prayer. All I have to do is direct it for a second towards god, and boom, technically it’s a prayer. Has anyone else had this? It really seems like ocd, even if it is VERY technically a prayer. It doesn’t seem like a normal, thought out prayer

This is sort of a sub part of the religious OCD, but I have Meta OCD as well. My main fear is ocd driving me to do a horrible prayer. Unfortunately, one thing my mind does is prays for things I want constantly to prove that I can choose what I pray for. Some of these things include either my ocd to go away, people to be safe, or to die by being killed by a an animal or something when I’m running on the trial. The issue is with the being killed thing. I have prayed for all sorts of things I know are not going to happen. Unfortunately, one of them was almost world war 3. I’m not usually that kind of person. I read someone say they basically prayed for disaster every day on Reddit and people didn’t completely destroy them over it, so I thought “well I could pray for world war 3.” The issue is, if I were my normal calm self, I wouldn’t do that. All I would be thinking about is how I would die if it happened. I’m not sure if testing the prayers are somehow warping my actual values or if that’s an excuse I’m making for myself. When I’m running on the trail, I really wouldn’t want to be killed by an animal either, but I guess I mean it, cause I want to die. But I know it’s not going to happen. So I’m not sure if this is an ocd issue or not