how can I fix this thought?

For some reason, my brain gets upset when my boyfriend hangs out with other people. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but sometimes I can’t help it. I understand that he has a life outside of our relationship, and that’s great. He reassures me all the time, in fact, he often tells me he would rather spend time with me than with his friends. He’s a perfect partner, and I love him more than anything. However, I don’t want this to become an issue in our relationship. I know why my mind thinks this way, even though I don’t believe it to be true. My brain keeps telling me that he would rather be somewhere else than with me. Those words repeat in my head every time he’s out with friends, and I don’t know why. I want to find a solution to this obsessive and jealous thought so that I don’t ruin his time with friends. I really need help with this issue.❤️

coolbeans40

Date posted: 5d ago

Just don’t stress it and be yourself, that’s all you gotta do

mri12

Date posted: 2d ago

@coolbeans40 Thank you 😊🩷

Evasmi

Date posted: 5d ago

I understand exactly what you are talking about and I do the same thing with my boyfriend. What I do is ask him for reassurance. Even with the reassurance I still don’t feel enough. But realizing your worth is really important. you shouldn’t be worried that he would rather have anyone else. I always try to tell myself that my boyfriend chose me and I know he loves me so that in itself shows that he wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.

mri12

Date posted: 2d ago

@Evasmi Thank you so much for this advice! I had showed my boyfriend what you guys have said to me and he said that he is completely supportive and he’s going to help me as much as he can! Thank you so much 💕💕

djflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4d ago

I understand how difficult this can be. In reality, the very act of trying to "solve" this thought is the thing that is keeping it around. The key is not to engage in the thought in the first place. Instead of thinking of ways to disprove it, try responding with "maybe, maybe not." Don't make it your goal to get rid of the thought, make it your goal to not care that it's there. Redirect your attention to something else, and let that thought come and go on its own. Look into ERP therapy and the "Ironic Process" if you'd like to learn more about this stuff.

mri12

Date posted: 2d ago

@djflorio Thank you so much! After expressing how I was feeling, we talked about it, and he has been completely supportive. He is willing to help me talk myself out of these thoughts and provide reassurance. This is the first time we've had this conversation, and while he's hanging out with his friends, I'm feeling completely calm and not angry! I will look into this further. I deeply appreciate your support. 🤍

anonymous_an...

Date posted: 14w ago

Questioning is it normal?

Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)

Mariabae

Date posted: 13w ago

i feel bad

i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 9w ago

I feel like a cheater, please help :(

I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

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