Feeling like I need to die…

@nae nae Thank you🩷 I’d appreciate talking to you or anyone that is willing to

@juless3 I'm willing to listen and offer advice if I'm able to! :)

@nae nae The only thoughts I have are about feeling the need to die. It feels so real and I’m terrified I might do something someday. Like it feels like it’s going to happen. I try to tell myself it’s just thoughts/anxiety but it doesn’t work at all. It feels like it’s not even thoughts and it scares me so much. Do you have any advice or something I should try?

@juless3 That's exhausting :( The fact that OCD is targeting this means it's the exact opposite of what you'd want. It can feel very real, or even like an "urge," but it's all the disorder. The only advice I really have is learning to sit with the thoughts. Instead of constantly reminding yourself, it's just thoughts, anxiety, OCD, etc... Try to sit with the uncomfortable feelings rather than push them away. It's scary and definitely not easy because it can feel so possible, but it will pass. The less attention we allow these thoughts to get, the less they'll show up. Eventually, they might even fade completely. Non-engagement responses really helped me, or sarcasm! Like, "Yeah, I'm TOTALLY going to do that 🙄" For non-engagement responses, you could respond like, "That's really interesting, but I'll think about that later! I'm busy right now!" Or simply, "Maybe, maybe not" and "I don't know." It's whatever you're comfortable with. Nathan Peterson on YouTube has some really good videos that helped me begin to manage my OCD. He has playlists for nearly every theme. There might be something informative for you to watch there? NOCD also has a lot of articles and tips on managing it. Then another thing that's helpful is just taking care of yourself. When I'm not doing anything or not eating well, getting out, etc... my intrusive thoughts worsen. Getting a good night's rest (if you can), excericising (even if it's a simple walk), getting sunlight, eating proper meals, spending time enjoying hobbies (or trying to), or watching a comfort show/movie! The little things really do matter a lot. Journaling is also something that helped me!

@nae nae Thank you so so much for all of the advice! I’ve been really having a hard time sitting with my thoughts because they just completely consume me. So, I am definitely going to try practicing some of those non-engagement responses! I will also have to check out some of those Youtube videos as well. Hopefully I will learn some new tricks to help me manage my thoughts. Also thank you for reminding me that even doing simple small tasks is important. I haven’t necessarily been doing too well when it comes to taking my care of myself. It’s gotten to the point where I just want to sleep all the time to stop the thoughts. I can’t even remember what life was like before this. I’m going to try doing more activities I enjoy as I work through my recovery journey! Thank you again, this was very helpful!! 🙌🩵

@juless3 You can do this!!! Im rooting for you!! These can be intense feelings and it can feel like the feelings are controlling ur body. I completely understand and I literally felt like this just yesterday 😭 First time in awhile where I was shaking almost the whole day and would sweat tons. But I DID remember that the best way to overcome the fear, is to let it come. And then let it go. Acknowledge that this scary feeling is there, but now look at yourself with grace and love and know you are human. And its good to know that it may not "fix" the feelings at first. But every day just practicing sitting in the uncomfortableness for a little. It builds resilience and it makes u stronger! You are courageous and strong

@juless3 Of course! If it brings you any comfort, I was in your exact situation five-six months ago, and I'm doing so, so, so much better now. There's hope, and if you're ever struggling or have a question, people in this community would be happy to help! :)

@Chococat Thank you so much!🥹 I’m glad to know I’m not alone! I’m going to keep pushing myself to sit with these uncomfortable feelings

@nae nae I’m glad to hear you’re doing much better! Mine has been going for almost 2 years now… I’m really hoping I get a better hold of it this year and am able to work past this.

@juless3 I hope so, too! :) Wishing you all the luck in the world!