i had thoughts of “planning” to harm my boyfriend. we have a trip coming up and my intrusive thoughts were telling me “nobody will know if you harm him all the way over there”, then my mind started rambling on like “everyone will know-“ and so on and so forth, it actually made me feel like i was contemplating on doing something and now it feels like im turning evil ): has anyone had thoughts like this?
ALL THE TIME! especially when babysitting my nieces it makes me not want to stay alone or go out... BUT that is just the ocd. Go on the trip, you aren't actually "planning". Someone who was wouldnt come here or even think there was anything abnormal. They're just thoughts, and nothing is happening. Its not reality. Remind yourself this! :)
Hello! I feel you. i have harm OCD too and it makes me scared or anxious everytime i have them thoughts about my love ones. But remember those are just a thought and it will never happen! The fact that we are scared of these thoughts it shows that we care alot with our love ones and we're not that kind of person. Always remember that its just intrusive thoughts! Your thoughts is not who you are! We will get better!😃
Hey, What you described? It’s classic Harm OCD. And no, you’re not turning evil — you’re turning inward, under pressure, and OCD is twisting your deepest fear (hurting someone you love) into a false reality. The very fact that it terrifies you? The fact that you’re here, questioning it, afraid of what it “means”? That’s proof it’s OCD. Not intent. Not planning. Not who you are. OCD loves to say: “but what if you wanted the thought?” Or: “what if it means something darker?” It doesn’t. It means you have a tender, sensitive conscience that’s being hijacked by fear. Please don’t isolate yourself. Don’t believe the lie that this makes you dangerous. You are not your thoughts. You are the one hurting because of them. Go on the trip. Let the thought pass. Let it float like static in a storm. You don’t have to fight it — just don’t engage with it like it’s a truth. You’re safe. And he’s safe with you. You’re not alone.
@Rayanswaid thank you so much. 🥹❤️
I’m having a very bad evening with my intrusive thoughts. I was doing really good dealing with them but tonight one hit me hard. I’ve been having a lot of different intrusive thoughts but I’ll have one occasionally about hurting my mom or my dog who I love and they’re the only family I have in my life. They’re my world. I was helping my mom put away the dishes and I had the big kitchen knife in my hand and my intrusive thought was you could stab your mom. And then my brain said I had a twitch in my hand and that meant I wanted to do it. Let me just say that I wouldn’t hurt a fly. I actually caught a fly in a glass and put it outside instead of killing it this evening before this intrusive thought happened. I’m such a gentle and compassionate and caring person and these thoughts instantly cause me to have a panic attack. And I have no one to talk to them about. I know they’re hard for my mom to hear and I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am. I do desperately want to tell her and have her reassure me that I’m not crazy or a psycho. Then my thoughts wander to if your hand did flinch could you be a psychopath. Is hurting someone in you. I know it’s not but I feel like my mind is out to get me and hurt me. I’m working so hard and I thought I was doing so good but I need to know why I have these thoughts. They’re not ok. I need someone to help me make sense of why. I know we aren’t supposed to ruminate but I shouldn’t have thoughts like this about people I love and care about the most in the world.
I am so so so anxious, I cant even describe it. I have this horrific anxious feeling going through my body where it feels like im about to do something terrible. I feel incredibly sick, shakey, panicky. Due to this harm ocd episode. I am so scared that I might act on a disgusting horrific harm intrusive thought. I dont wanna be near knives, go to the kitchen or even get up. As im so scared that Im going to act on it. I know I dont want to but this anxiety and horrid feeling makes me feel like i do. I am petrified the anxiety is terrifying. I sat in the kitchen earlier while my brother was close and I was scared because it feels so real even typing this im starting to panic. Please respons please and please say if your uk based it brings me a bit of comofrt as I know im not alone in this country! What makes it worse is my family were talking about their aspirations and dreams then i felt even more scared of the intrusive thoughts because if i did act on them they would be destroyed and then I also feel so much guilt cos i get scared my bf is scared of me has anyone had this does it go.
does anyone else get really vivid intrusive thoughts of the person who you are talking to (or close to physically) just randomly striking you violently? i keep getting them when i’m just talking to my dad one on one in the car & i get a flash of intrusive thoughts of him grabbing my hair & shoving my face in the dashboard. it gets me so anxious :’)
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