angel 🪽
- Date posted
- 10w
nae naenae nae
- Date posted
- 10w
Hi angel, I read what you said above! I can relate to not doing anything sexual or feeling "dirty" afterward. First of all, don't let OCD bully you into thinking you've done something wrong or abnormal. I'm sorry it's attaching these negative feelings to something that's completely normal 🥲🫂 Sit with them as best you can for now. Maybe try to do something comforting? Just know that those intrusive thoughts don't define you as a person at all!
angel 🪽angel 🪽
- Date posted
- 10w
please
angel 🪽angel 🪽
- Date posted
- 10w
it’s 3am and i’m so worried
Idontknow Idontknow
- Date posted
- 10w
@angel 🪽 Hi
angel 🪽angel 🪽
- Date posted
- 10w
@Idontknow hi i’m super worried pls
Idontknow Idontknow
- Date posted
- 10w
@angel 🪽 It’s ok, I understand 😞 what’s wrong????
angel 🪽angel 🪽
- Date posted
- 10w
@Idontknow this is like extremely tmi and i’m super sorry abt that id understand if you didn’t want to read bc it would be awkward but i do this thing and it’s like o can’t m*sturbate or engage in anything sexual after being around kids bc it triggers my ocd and yeah it just makes me feel dirty bc even tho it’s not that im yk attracted to them, my mind still plays tricks. today i decided to push through it bc ik it’s my ocd and my nephew came down but i didn’t know he was n i played roblox with him for a bit and when he left like an hour later i think it was i was talking to this boy and things got yk sexual so i ended up doing that and i feel so guilty now. and it’s like just before the boy and i yk engaged in such conversations and i couldn’t even yk it took me like hours to and the second i finally did i had constant intrusive thoughts. idk how im supposed to push through them bc i feel so dirty and terrible
Idontknow Idontknow
- Date posted
- 10w
@angel 🪽 I can relate to not doing anything s because of Pocd But why feel guilty about talking to the boy was he underage???
angel 🪽angel 🪽
- Date posted
- 10w
@Idontknow no not at all he’s my age it’s just idk whenever i’m around ppl younger i don’t allow myself to like yk read anything sexual or do anything sexual in them 24 hours because i KNOW ill get intrusive thoughts about it.
Idontknow Idontknow
- Date posted
- 10w
@angel 🪽 You’re ok!! It seems like you're going through a tough time with your OCD and how it's affecting your feelings about intimacy and sexual behavior. I want you to know that those feelings of distress and guilt are tied to your OCD and don’t truly reflect your real desires or intentions. It's completely normal to feel confused and frustrated when OCD makes it hard to enjoy certain activities or connect with others. You're not alone in this, I understand you 100%
TiredddTireddd
- Date posted
- 10w
Hello
angel 🪽angel 🪽
- Date posted
- 10w
@Tireddd this is like extremely tmi and i’m super sorry abt that id understand if you didn’t want to read bc it would be awkward but i do this thing and it’s like o can’t m*sturbate or engage in anything sexual after being around kids bc it triggers my ocd and yeah it just makes me feel dirty bc even tho it’s not that im yk attracted to them, my mind still plays tricks. today i decided to push through it bc ik it’s my ocd and my nephew came down but i didn’t know he was n i played roblox with him for a bit and when he left like an hour later i think it was i was talking to this boy and things got yk sexual so i ended up doing that and i feel so guilty now. and it’s like just before the boy and i yk engaged in such conversations and i couldn’t even yk it took me like hours to and the second i finally did i had constant intrusive thoughts. idk how im supposed to push through them bc i feel so dirty and terrible
TiredddTireddd
- Date posted
- 10w
@angel 🪽 No no, i read. I'm so sorry you feel this way, i understand it's not good to give reassurance, but you didn't act on it as much as your mind convinces you that it's the same, you didn't have the intention, that's why they give you so much anxiety. It FEELS so real, i get it, you feel irredeemable and like you're making a bunch of excuses or you simply believe you acted on it because of the backdoor spike you get, what you are experiencing has a name and it's the backdoor spike. "Why am i pushing through it, does it mean i'm bad?" I don't think you're dirty, bad, or anything like that, i think you're human and you have anxiety like everyone else here, i don't think this is something new that i've read, i've read many experiences of people with OCD like this. Don't be afraid to go to therapy or tell your therapist this if you're going, believe me they've heard way worse things than this. Sending you hugs and strength 🫂
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misereri
- Date posted
- 19w
Someone to talk to?please?
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
str4berrycoo...
- Date posted
- 11w
how i deal with the "what ifs" (+18)
i feel like i have been posting a lot about this and i will try to stop since now but i just don't know where to start or what to do, and i can't take therapy right now either. my event is about something that did actually happen; i had a boyfriend and we had a 1.5 age difference (i know this sounds stupid) but the thing is that we both started to sext a lot since he was 14 and i was 15. we shared audios videos pictures ect and i don't know how to just let this go, even when i know that i never really forced him into anything and i was always constantly worried about him being comfortable, when to stop and ect. the memories keep coming back to my mind and the guilt is eating me up slowly because i keep thinking that i'm a predator or a groomer or something like that. i don't know how to deal with the what ifs either, lately i haven't stopped thinking what if i sexually harassed or sexually exploited him or something like that. how do i deal with the cycle of guilt and constant what ifs if i also feel like my event is worse than others i've seen? please help me with this. it's getting a lil tiring and even if somedays i know how to deal with this, i still get really triggered sometimes. this wouldn't even bother me before, i wish i could just get back in time before this theme popped into my mind. my life has been a hell since then and i live constantly scared and suicidal.
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5w
I'm tired tired ocd
I have disturbing thoughts. I am very upset. Someone please help me. Please talk to me.
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