hey guys, i am really struggling

hey guys, i am really really struggling and i feel like crying. evry day i get this feeling of sexual attraction to the same gender, and i get those feelings even just thinking about it now. i hste them and want them to go away but they simply won’t and it has me thinking that this is just how my life is gonna be like. when i was fully healed or atleast thought i was healed from the false attraction and soocd, i still sometimes got that attraction feeling, and i would force my body not to feel it. i hated it and was scared of liking it so i would like stop breathing and make it stop. it was only ever occasional but this is making me concerned now too, because i still sometimes felt that feeling when i was healed. now currently my main trigger is masculine girls, but when my soocd first started i had no false attraction or attraction like this towards girls, and it was all just in my mind like saying, “don’t look at that girl or you’re gay.” there was one point in my soocd where i was worried about being attracted to my friends, but i am greatful in the sense of i know that that is not true and my main issue is the false attraction watching videos and i have experienced it once in real life too and i hated it. please lmk what i should do or even if you can relate. i am sick of feeling th is way, and i am a christian too so this makes it harder. i’ve tried everything like accepting it, or trying to even say to myself yes u do like it but it always just leads to me being scared.

What is happ...

Date posted: Yesterday

100% know how you feel. I had SOOCD, 13 years ago where it was just thoughts I was gay. I couldn’t even drink tea because my thoughts told me I was gay if I did. This went and now 13 years later it came back with vengeance. The false attraction is severve at first. It was every male I saw no matter what, males voices so I couldn’t listen to music and even cartoons. It’s hard to watch television at the moment too. This all came about 4 months ago whilst watching a video on Facebook and I questioned if I found a male attracted. The fear overwhelmed me and I even loss attraction to opposite sex (females). I hate this so much, I’m married to a wonderful woman and we share two children. This is destroying me at this moment in time. However, I have had a week where i thought I was getting better last week. You’re not alone in this and I support you every second! Be strong, we know who deep down we are.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@What is happening to me thankyou si much this made me tear up.

What is happ...

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous I’m with you in this until we both get through this. We can and will in time.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: Yesterday

Hello Anonymous, I hear your distress and I am sorry you are struggling with SOOCD. I am hearing that before you were struggling with thought, but now it includes body sensations. Have you heard of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)? ERP is the gold standard of treatment for OCD and related conditions. At NOCD we are all experts in the diagnosis and treatment of OCD and related conditions, using ERP. With OCD sensations that could be due to something else, are can be attributed to the thought causing distress. The compulsion of self-monitoring is challenging and the best way to deal with a compulsion is to introduce uncertainty. Have you tried to sit with uncertainty? If you don't know where to begin or are ready to continue your journey of recovery, please visit our website at www.treatmyocd.com for more information on OCD and ERP. If you are interested in starting or resuming your recovery, you may reach out to our member advocate team at care@nocdhelp.com to enroll in treatment. I hope this message reaches you well and know, that at NOCD, we are always here to help! Take care, Ian M. Reeder

User type: Therapist

Date posted: Yesterday

Hi there, I am a trained NOCD therapist. Thank you for posting this. Sharing your struggle takes courage, especially when it feels so consuming and goes against your values. It sounds incredibly difficult. OCD can often latch onto things we care about deeply, like our identity, relationships, or faith, creating intense doubt and fear through intrusive thoughts and sensations that feel real but aren't aligned with who we are. You don't have to navigate this confusion and distress alone. Help is here at NOCD and we can assist you in finding outside help if needed too. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-being-straight-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-being-gay-ocd

King silly

Date posted: 14w ago

Not seeking reassurance, just prayers

Lately my OCD has been very horrible, it’s been more convincing than ever to the point where I’m genuinely convinced that I like this stuff, when I get a thought, I’ll hear my intrusive thoughts go “oooh, I like that, I’d do that.” and I just don’t freak out nor feel bad, I just feel like I like it even more, and feel like I would do/act on it and like it, and the feeling is strong and it lingers forever? It genuinely feels like I do, and I’m just lying now, i can’t tell if I make these thoughts worse or anything All I remember mostly just being like confused sometimes when these thoughts happen, but since I’m getting strong emotions that I like it, my brain says that means I did and I’m worried about that being true because I don’t understand nor know It’s like I am resisting to like this stuff now, it’s even tougher now than it was before

Mt2019

Date posted: 9w ago

Question about HOCD

Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please

violettag6

Date posted: 5w ago

so-ocd

So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?

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hey guys, i am really struggling

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