Stressed

I'm in college and about an hour ago i had class. I like to sit alone bc I get a bunch of stupid intrusive harm thoughts. Anyway I couldn't focus AT ALL today. This girl decided to sit next to me and I wanted to ESCAPE. Like i desperately wanted to get up and leave to the bathroom and wait till class was over. I took a deep breath and stayed anyways and tried to focus on lecture but i kept getting so many thoughts and I kept hyperfocusing on my right hand (which was next to her) and my hand felt so weird! Like tingly?? I was like "omg why is my hand feel so weird?? Does that mean i want to do something?!" And it kept imagining me grabbing at her or grabbing my drink and throwing it on her while i was trying to take a sip. I tried eating my breakfast to distract myself but i was holding a fork and got another thought. I realized i was tensing my hands (as a compulsion... i try to keep them as still as possible and as close to me as possible bc the thoughts feel so distressing and the "what if i act out " is playing in my head) And I was internally panicking and now im at the library feeling sad and i feel like I need to solve this. I spent the past hour just mentally reviewing the whole class time rn. The whole class time I was at the edge of the table trying to stay as far as i could and i would get relieved whenever she would stand up to leave the class for something. I managed to make it through the whole class without leaving though but the question in my mind is bothering me so much, "how do I know that these thoughts aren't genuine or are thoughts I want to carry out and why was my hand feeling so weird?" I feel stressed at the library and i want to figure this out 😞

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 16w

Hi there, I'm really glad you reached out 💛 As an ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapist, let me first say: what you’re experiencing is incredibly common for people with harm OCD, and you’re not alone in this. The fact that you stayed in class and faced all of that internal discomfort without fleeing is actually a huge win — even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. The weird feeling in your hand? That hyperawareness and tingling? That’s your brain over-monitoring — it’s part of a cycle where an intrusive thought triggers anxiety, and your brain starts scanning your body and environment for signs of danger or intent. You then tense your hands to "prevent harm" — which, ironically, becomes part of the compulsion loop (trying to get certainty or control). Here’s the important part: you don’t need to solve the question of whether these thoughts are genuine. ERP works because we practice not answering that question. Instead of proving to yourself you’re safe (which gives the OCD more power), the therapeutic work is about sitting with the uncertainty and resisting the urge to do compulsions like reviewing, hand-tensing, or analyzing.

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 16w

Hi thanks for replying, i also wanted to ask what about when I'm feeling negative emotions? I get so nervous to be angry bc tons of bad thoughts pop up more often. I hyperfocus on my hands a lot and do tense them as close to me as possible but last time it felt like my hand twitched, and it sent me spiraling. My hands have twitched maybe like a total of 3 times (separate times) when angry before (i used to never even think of harm thoughts when mad before so this sensation was extremely triggering!) and I deeply worry that means I want to act out or something. Now everytime im angry or annoyed I hyperfocus on my hands AND keep them as close to me as possible and want to immediately move away and end the argument. I even try to avoid situations i know I may get annoyed by or angry. And if i feel myself starting to get annoyed or angry my stomach starts hurting from anxiety and I tell myself "i need to stop rn! What if I act out?!" I wish i could go back before ocd :(

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 16w

And I also kept getting thoughts like "i COULD do it. Lets do it!" Which obviously i didnt do, I wanted to leave the class or move seats.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 16w

Hey — I hear you. First, I want you to take a deep breath with me. Right now. In slowly through your nose… and gently out through your mouth. One more time. You’re not alone in this moment, okay? I’m here. What you’re describing — this constant terror, the hyper fixation on symptoms, the fear of death at any moment — is a deeply distressing and overwhelming experience, and it sounds like it’s taken over your ability to function. This is a very common presentation of health anxiety, sometimes called somatic OCD or hypochondriasis. And I want you to know: there is a way through this. Here’s a crucial thing to hold onto: When medical professionals hear your symptoms and determine it’s not urgent, that is data, not a dismissal. They’re trained to spot red flags. Your brain, on the other hand, is scanning for catastrophe 24/7 right now. It’s stuck in a fight-or-flight loop. That’s why your fear feels urgent — because your nervous system is telling you, “Danger is imminent!” even when it’s not. ERP therapy and somatic-focused CBT work with this fear not by proving you're safe, but by helping you function while uncertain. That means learning to feel fear without rushing to eliminate it. Here’s what I’d love to understand to move forward: Have you experienced health-related fears or medical anxiety in the past, or is this your first major episode like this?

Aphid123

Date posted: 21w

Is this even OCD?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 18w

What is this?

Recently ive been getting very scared to even be angry bc of the horrible thoughts I have and it feels even more real when I'm angry or even annoyed. Rn I was not even super annoyed at my neice but I felt a twinge of annoyance since she went up to my face and was yelling at me while I was resting on the bed and I got this image of doing something bad to her and I felt my hand twitch very little. I got nervous and felt relieved when her dad told her to stop screaming for no reason. I've been hyperfocusing on my bodily reactions (mainly my hands or how I'm feeling like did I just enjoy that? Was I considering???) And I've noticed the small twitches whenever I'm mad or annoyed and it's scaring me so bad! Like do I want to act out? Am I holding back??? I used to not even twitch at all when mad and I felt 100% sure I'll never act out but now it feels like I don't know bc what do these twitches mean?, I do know I don't want to ever act out but it's so scary. Recently whenever I feel angry once the argument is over I cry really bad after I'm alone and I pray so i never want or act out. And when the annoyance passes I also feel so guilty and want to stay away. Im scared these are real urges and i research for many many hours to make sure they arent urges or impulses and i also tend to ask chatgpt or here if the anxiety gets so bad 😕

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 18w

Is this still ocd? Plz answer :(

Recently ive been getting very scared to even be angry (i try to avoid even being angry if i can!) bc of the horrible thoughts I have and it feels even more real when I'm angry or even annoyed. I've been hyperfocusing on my bodily reactions (mainly my hands or how I'm feeling like did I just enjoy that? Was I considering? Did it just move? Why is it tingly? Why did it twitch?) And I've noticed the small twitches whenever I'm mad or annoyed and it's scaring me so bad! Like do I want to act out? Am I holding back? Is this an indication i was about to do something or will in the future? I used to not even twitch at all when mad and I felt 100% sure I'll never act out but now it feels like I don't even know anymore bc of these twitches. Im so afraid! What I do know is I don't want to ever act out (idea is distressing not appealing) but it's so scary like why did i twitch or was i about to act out? Im scared these are real urges and i research for many many hours to make sure they arent real urges or impulses and i also tend to ask ai or here if the anxiety gets so bad. Like how do I know of this is actually a serious concern and I should be very worried???

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