Triggered from NOCD article

Guys for the past couple of hours ive been spiraling! I wad researching and came across this harm ocd article question that has been worrying me. The title was "im scared of hurting someone when I'm mad. Can i trust myself?" And I was thinking "hey that's what ive been worried about for the past several months!" I even AVOID being angry. Im scared of it bc I get a lot of thoughts and I'm hyperaware of my hands and feel them tingly! Last time i tensed so hard to stay still as possible bc I was so so nervous from my thoughts and my hand twitched which made me SPIRAL. I never want to cause harm! And i always start crying after an argument bc the thoughts are so so scary! Anyway I got afraid bc the article said "research has shown that people with ocd don't struggle with impulse control- so if you find yourself intensely worried you could do harm based on the intrusive thoughts or urges you have, it's likely something else is going on." THAT SENTENCE HAS LEFT ME WITH A TON OF ANXIETY! Its so bad, my appetite is gone! I'm scared does this mean I don't have ocd and should be seriously concerned?!

djflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15w

I'm sorry that you're struggling with this, and I can imagine the anxiety you feel right now is super uncomfortable. I looked up the article in question and personally I think this is a case of poor wording and miscommunication. Here's what I believe they meant: "Research has actually shown that people with OCD don’t struggle with impulse control" Translation: People with OCD tend to not have any actual, active issues with impulse control. In other words, they tend to not actually ACT impulsively, despite what they may think. "—so if you find yourself intensely worried that you could do harm based on the intrusive thoughts or urges you have, it’s likely that something else is going on." Translation: If you are intensely *worried about harm-related thoughts*, it's likely that it's OCD, rather than an actual desire to cause harm. Personally, this is why I often advocate not trying to distinguish between "OCD thoughts" and "real thoughts," because that distinction doesn't really exist. All thoughts are just thoughts. OCD isn't the thoughts themselves, it's the way we react to the thoughts. Literally every human alive is capable of experiencing thoughts about harming others, regardless of their actual desires. The difference is that with OCD, we tend to latch onto scary thoughts and have an incredibly hard time letting them go, leading to compulsions that keep the thoughts around and make them more intrusive. This is also why I'm a huge advocate of mindfulness when it comes to OCD. We suffer the most when we're lost in thoughts about ourselves. The more you can train yourself to bring your attention to the present moment and away from the thoughts, the more you'll realize that thoughts have no actual control over you, no matter what they are. I'm currently reading Daniel Wegner's "White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts." It's all about how intrusive thoughts work, and it's not even a book about OCD (intrusive thoughts are universal!). I recommend it if you want to learn more about this stuff. Of course, ERP therapy as well!

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 15w

Thank you so much for this detailed response, you have no idea how worried I was I was feeling so much dread. Im already nervous when I'm mad and it makes me want to leave or wish that the argument could be over already or I decide to lose the argument even if I think I'm correct bc I rather avoid being mad due to the thoughts. It feels even more real when mad! And I've started to cry after arguments and start spiraling. It's scary af. Thank you for your response

djflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15w

@Andi 🤓☝️ - No problem. Have you tried any sort of ERP or ACT therapy? I completely understand the desire to avoid those feels and thoughts. Unfortunately, by doing that this fear will only become stronger. Every time you avoid something in hopes to not feel a certain way or think certain thoughts, it reinforces the idea that those feelings/thoughts are dangerous in the first place. The ultimate goal is to be able to live your life *despite* those feelings and thoughts, rather than get rid of them. As you do that, over time they will naturally become less scary to you. With something like ERP therapy, this can be achieved by gradually exposing yourself to different triggers that are just outside your comfort zone, and practicing sitting with the anxiety that arises without trying to do anything to get rid of it, allowing it to come and go on its own. It seems impossible right now, but eventually you will be able to have an argument with someone or feel angry around them, and not get lost in these spiraling thoughts about what that might mean.

nae nae

Date posted: 15w

I'd spiral, too omg? That's so strange because OCD literally comes with intrusive thoughts and "urges," like...? And it feels real, so of course we'd have a fear that we might be capable. I don't understand why they'd put that in the article... Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but I don't know. It's strange 😭

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 15w

Exactly! I'm so afraid! I know I dont want to snap and lose control but reading this has made me so nervous. I tried to play video games to distract myself but omfg I still feel dread

Aphid123

Date posted: 21w

Is this even OCD?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 18w

What is this?

Recently ive been getting very scared to even be angry bc of the horrible thoughts I have and it feels even more real when I'm angry or even annoyed. Rn I was not even super annoyed at my neice but I felt a twinge of annoyance since she went up to my face and was yelling at me while I was resting on the bed and I got this image of doing something bad to her and I felt my hand twitch very little. I got nervous and felt relieved when her dad told her to stop screaming for no reason. I've been hyperfocusing on my bodily reactions (mainly my hands or how I'm feeling like did I just enjoy that? Was I considering???) And I've noticed the small twitches whenever I'm mad or annoyed and it's scaring me so bad! Like do I want to act out? Am I holding back??? I used to not even twitch at all when mad and I felt 100% sure I'll never act out but now it feels like I don't know bc what do these twitches mean?, I do know I don't want to ever act out but it's so scary. Recently whenever I feel angry once the argument is over I cry really bad after I'm alone and I pray so i never want or act out. And when the annoyance passes I also feel so guilty and want to stay away. Im scared these are real urges and i research for many many hours to make sure they arent urges or impulses and i also tend to ask chatgpt or here if the anxiety gets so bad 😕

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 18w

Is this still ocd? Plz answer :(

Recently ive been getting very scared to even be angry (i try to avoid even being angry if i can!) bc of the horrible thoughts I have and it feels even more real when I'm angry or even annoyed. I've been hyperfocusing on my bodily reactions (mainly my hands or how I'm feeling like did I just enjoy that? Was I considering? Did it just move? Why is it tingly? Why did it twitch?) And I've noticed the small twitches whenever I'm mad or annoyed and it's scaring me so bad! Like do I want to act out? Am I holding back? Is this an indication i was about to do something or will in the future? I used to not even twitch at all when mad and I felt 100% sure I'll never act out but now it feels like I don't even know anymore bc of these twitches. Im so afraid! What I do know is I don't want to ever act out (idea is distressing not appealing) but it's so scary like why did i twitch or was i about to act out? Im scared these are real urges and i research for many many hours to make sure they arent real urges or impulses and i also tend to ask ai or here if the anxiety gets so bad. Like how do I know of this is actually a serious concern and I should be very worried???

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Triggered from NOCD article

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community