I don’t know what is going on

i swear I’m either schizophrenic or my ocd is just THIS bad. my phone has been acting weird, like my screen turns black and then it’ll turn back on to where i was (i guess it freezes?) when that happens i immediately panic. my head tells me that my phone is acting like that because im being watched and the police will show up to my house. i had a lot of screenshots on my phone from social media, it was like outfit ideas (outfits on other people, influencers) I went through and deleted all those photos, i feel like they looked bad/suspicious.

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

Hey, I’m really sorry to hear you’re having such a difficult time. My ocd actually also centers around themes of developing schizophrenia or some other debilitating brain disorder. I know exactly what it’s like to constantly feel like my mind is my own worst enemy. Left unchecked, this inevitably leads to my mind compulsively analyzing every thought, every feeling, and looking for evidence that my worst fears are finally becoming true. I don’t have a magic bullet to instantly make these thoughts, feelings, and sensations suddenly go away. I know that it can always feel so, so real. No matter how many times I’ve felt everything before. One of the few things that’s personally helped me, is really practicing acceptance. Acceptance that I have a brain/mental disorder. Acceptance that my irrational ocd mind will continually create “evidence” that my brain is falling apart. And learning to live with the uncertainty of not having absolute control over my fears. Maybe you will develop schizophrenia… maybe you won’t… maybe you have actually been misdiagnosed with ocd, and instead it’s schizophrenia… Or maybe it’s another hyper-realistic ocd trick that can oftentimes feel completely real… What works for me, is not letting this pain/fear completely derail my life. I gently (with lots of self-love/acceptance) make myself go to work, take care of responsibilities, and do what I can with what I’ve got. It’s not a perfect system, but this attitude has worked the best for me so far. I accept that my mind will play hundreds of tricks on me throughout the day: “you’re losing your mind… didn’t you feel that strange pulse or headache..? This means I just had a brain aneurysm.. oh no I’m developing schizophrenia.. wait no.. maybe I’m not.. wait yes.. maybe I am etc etc…” It’s usually very painful to have these thoughts and emotions constantly play in the back of my mind as I function throughout the day. But ultimately I try to acknowledge that nobody has complete control over their destiny. We all just simply have the responsibility to do the best we can with the cards we’ve been individually dealt. Who can genuinely really say that they have a “complete and full-proof” guarantee of how long they’re guaranteed to live healthily and carefree in the future..? Nobody on this planet. I’m going to obviously continually always try to be healthy and make the right decisions. But nobody can completely prevent bad things from happening to them. I just have to trust that if my worst fears do actually come true. My future self will simply have to take responsibility for the situation, and courageously try to figure things out. And ultimately, I believe that’s all anybody can realistically do if they’re actually being completely honest with themselves. I wish you the best of luck and fortune. Hope this can help

CelinaDavs

Date posted: 22w

I’m unsure if i have ocd…

i’m a new user on this app, I downloaded it just cause I was curious, I don’t really know if I have OCD. Because in school all I learned about OCD is things being out of place and having it to be perfect almost like perfectionism, but I’ve just recently realized there’s a whole kind of different types of OCD, some things I struggle with daily is a fear of bad things happening or almost like an impending doom of when is it gonna happen? I’m always in my head thinking feels like I’m having multiple conversations at once. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like I’m having a conversation with myself. I have horrendous anxiety about everything and anything talking to people being around people. It just feels like it consumes my everyday life and I don’t know what to do. I can’t clearly remember anything from my childhood and some things I feel like I may be imagining I just don’t really feel like a person. I’m always thinking the worst in my relationship over analyzing and stressing out thinking of scenarios or thinking, my boyfriend‘s cheating on me. It almost all feels out of my control.

cait1299

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

Really struggling!

Hi guys! I had really bad harm ocd about 2 years ago and I went through therapy and eventually got really good at handling it when it would pop up. The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok and came across a girl talking about a guy who was presenting a lot of schizophrenic symptoms but no one paid attention and got him help, he was having a lot of delusions, hallucinating, thinking everyone was out to get him, thought he was Jesus and his dad was the president and ended up doing horrific things. The day after that, I was dealing with some work drama and had the thought of “what if all my coworkers are against me and trying to get me fired”. That really stressed me out, cause I don’t normally think about them like that and I went down a rabbit hole of thinking that was the beginning of me developing schizophrenia, ended up googling stuff all night, taking tests, crying and seeking reassurance. I had a thought the other day “your dad is the president”, this one didn’t stress me out as bad as I knew it was just the video I had seen and it was an intrusive thought about it, and I also didn’t believe it. Today I was with some friends and I got a prize at a place we went and it said “lonely” on it. I do have my moments of feeling lonely and this week has been specifically trying so I had a thought like “oh someone’s out to get me cause I got this”. I know this isn’t logical and it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly get it if someone was truly after me and it was just a stupid prize at a random place, anyone could’ve gotten it. Im just struggling a lot with schizophrenic OCD and thinking I’m in the pre stages of it. In my good moments, I don’t think I am at all and it was all just sparked from the video I watched but in my bad moments, these thoughts feel real!! They really stress me out and make me feel like I’m going to lose my mind causing me to lose my job/ end up in a psych hospital/ never live a normal life/ end up alone, never see me my loved ones/ hurt my loved ones. I just want to feel normal and not like I’m about to lose my mind and everything I care about. Please help!!! Anyone else going through something similar and can help me get through this!

Anonymous

Date posted: 12d

Please respond I need a helping friend

So I don’t know if this is real event ocd or false memory ocd or maybe it can be both but when I was in one of my worst ocd episodes I had to record every conversation i interacted with because I would think I’m saying my thoughts out loud. So after work me and my mom went to a family’s birthday party and on the way there I was already scared that when they would open the door that i would say something inappropriate so I put my phone in my purse to make sure I didn’t. I ended up doing that getting past them but I can’t remember if I turned off my phone I feel and know that I did but not remembering every specific detail makes me think that evedybody there knows I’m recording people and that ima weirdo. I hate that I even had the ocd theme, I hate that I needed to record conversations to make myself feel better because now I look like a weirdo that’s taking videos without consent.

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