The thought of ocd being long-term is scaring me pretty bad. My therapist told me in our first visit last week that it will always come back and it triggered me. I know everyone says itās manageable, but I keep having the thought that I wonāt be able to handle it the rest of my life and I will want to suic. myself. I am terrified :(
My personal experience is that it does go away for years even or it's so minor that I don't notice. Huge stresssors bring it back š
@Misstama65 I have been thinking about that too. When I was little I had pretty bad intrusive thoughts and now years later Iām going through a new theme. I just wish it would go away forever š
@Misstama65 Yesss same! I hadnāt had a bad spike since childhood until the age of 25
@NatSwai Yup me too! Happened in my early childhood and OCD started up again when I was 19. Iām now 21.
@juless3 This makes me feel so seen. Weāre not alone! It is kinda terrifying but thatās why ERP is so helpful. Youāll always have those skills
@NatSwai Yes, Iām glad to know Iām not alone with this. The thought of being stuck with Ocd my whole life is definitely scaring me to the point that itās a reoccurring thought. I start exposure therapy for the first time this week and Iām very nervous!
@juless3 Youāll do great! Milk it for all itās worth!
I've had that thought, too. But knowing there are people with OCD who have lived full lives all the way into old age helps me feel like I'll be able too, also! :)
I had that same thought. I was diagnosed at 23 and Iām 56 now. There will be times during stress that your ocd will flare up but you always get back to feeling good again. Iāve been on meds. Off meds, ERP, ICBT. Read books on it and it has all helped me in recovering. ā¤ļøāš©¹ take care of yourself and I know what stress will make me flare now but it takes awhile. And some things are life things you canāt control and those to me were the hardest things when my ocd was worse . But you can live a long amazing life with OCD. It doesnāt define you š
im having a unusually hard flare up for two months. ive never had it this bad before (ive had this on and off for many years - thank god not constantly.) lately, i keep having these images in my head and scenarios in my head of me "coming out" in the future and ending my relationship with my amazing fiance who i love dearly. he knows everything but i still feel like i am constantly lying to him, my family, and friends. i need to know that this is something the SO-OCD can do to you? the weird thing is, is that i have never been attracted to woman. i do admire their beauty and wish to LOOK like them or have a specific feature they have, but i dont have any urges to like be with them yet i am dealing with this really bad flare up. My brain keeps telling me that since i have never tried it, i would never know, and i am just getting really distressed from it. i just want to be happy again and it seems impossible. I am convinced i am only person that is using SO-OCD as an excuse. Any guidance or advice, or anything really, will help. i just feel alone and scared and sad all the time.
I feel so freaking scared. I know Iāll have an intrusive thought/urge and whatever I know Iām going to fight off another compulsion until I eventually give in bc Iām still so new to this. I am petrified and I feel like I cannot for the life of me relax. Iām sleep deprived, in a terrible place hormonally, withdrawing from meds, and being treated like a burden by people around me. I literally feel like I canāt do this. I keep thinking about those posts where people talk about the hypothetical scenarios where you learn your death date. I feel like if someone told me Iād die soon, I would cry of relief. I would never hurt myself but boy do I not want to experience this anymore.
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever Iām down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illnessā¦. I hate to say it but I hate living right now itās too painfulā¦ im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now iām 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think Iām gay and didnāt realize or indenial and listen I get it ādonāt look for reassurance!ā āItās not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!ā Hereās the thing with that if Iām in a relationship and Iām gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that āoh yeah that stuff happens and youāll move onā is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didnāt realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it canāt google says otherwise and some people have said it canāt idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I canāt take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why canāt I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the bodyās and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still donāt get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because Iām with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain Iām (demi sexual so I donāt even really care about looks) and I truly didnāt care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I donāt like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldnāt be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didnāt even care about labels before my ocd it just didnāt matter but now itās effected my sex life and itās hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused Iām so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner Iām with right now!!! Iām so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that Iām gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out itās been true all along?!???
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