I think I enjoy my thoughts

This has been happening to me too and it’s honestly so scary and sickening especially because it feels like your mind has no evidence to prove the thought wrong. I’d say if you’re someone like me who has had ocd for a while, it tends to distort your reality a lot especially between your minds imagination and actual real life. An example would be lately my harm intrusive thoughts feel less serious in my mind and distorted like the idea about harm in real life isn’t the same as it is in my head. It’s really weird and confusing but this is most likely due to the main irrational fear taking over. I try to remember that fear always mixes up your reality because it causes like an overdrive in your brain if that makes sense.

This is very very common with POCD. If you look at other posts on here you’ll see thousands of people with this exact experience. You may not have felt distress at the time, but you do now. It’s not always immediate like that.

of course !! I try to remember that if I know it’s causing me extreme stress or doubt then it most likely is ocd. I get what you mean too about never noticing kids before your intrusive thoughts because I think about that too like the thing I’m obsessing about now, I never worried about before this. For me it’s harm ocd lately and before having these thoughts, I never did harm or anything intentionally harmful so it reminds me that it’s just because of the fear. Wishing you the best for a diagnosis though, sometimes it feels relieving to know what is causing the problem you’re dealing with.