Like things that feel like ‘evidence’ and clues…. It’s like I can’t let these things go. I’m not talking about ‘signs from the universe’ , I mean actual real life things your ocd is using against you. Not reassurance seeking.
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@Anonymous What if the evidence is actuallly something real though? That’s what’s worrying me so much, is like guessing someone has a mole and they do! What are the chances!!! And guessing someone is wearing blue and they are!!! Again what are the odds. It’s freaky. And it feels like evidence
@Anonymous I don’t think I can do it. I just think because I guessed this person had a mole on their back it must mean I assaulted them or saw them naked…even though I don’t remember but then I was drinking so? And the blue top? How did I know this? I make a lot of wrong guesses as well but I don’t care about the wrong guesses only the right
@Anonymous Basically I guessed a few moles wrong but I guessed my friends daughter (who I haven’t seen in years) had a mole on her back and when I looked she did & now I think I must of seen her undress or done something bad , I have false memories of it but I don’t actually remember it but I was drinking so?
@Anonymous I think it’s because I’ve had false memories about this girl before , so now I’ve guessed a mole my ocd is convinced they must be real…there was no mole in my memory originally but I just keep guessing and clue searching and now I’m trapped forever
@Anonymous I keep telling myself maybe I saw it before in a photo…or maybe I just guessed…but my mind keeps bullying me saying nope it must be because I’ve ’done something terrible’
@Anonymous Terrible tbh 😭😭
@Anonymous Thank you , I’ll try 😭I really really appreciate your kindness and help during this hard time it means so much to me
strange signs of ocd that i initially didn’t realise were ocd related: - ensuring all synonyms for a word had to be included and spoken/considered. also weighing out which synonym would be ‘just right’ to integrate in the context. - being hyper aware of everyone’s emotions, the atmosphere and my surroundings. - randomly ruminating about an event that happened years ago and convincing yourself you said/did something bad and potentially apologising for it years later. - never saying swear words or cancellable things out loud or on camera when younger. i feared these videos would resurface and i would lose my job or if i became famous id be canceled. - being extremely superstitious (e.g. thought i would attract the bad energy that stemmed from seeing certain ‘evil’ numbers & words, watching manifestation videos that promote bad luck, going near cemeteries, not touching wood or stepping on the cracks etc.) - checking power outlets several times to ensure you have turned them off to ensure the house doesn’t burn down. - checking emails several times before sending to ensure you haven’t attached some ‘inappropriate content’ before sending it off. - checking alarms that you have turned alarms on several times and ensuring there loud enough to guarantee you will not sleep through them. - feeling heightened urges to confess every little thing otherwise i’ll attract bad karma. if i don’t confess or do something i deem as ‘bad’ i perceive any tiny inconvenience in my day as bad karma as a result of my actions. - taking tiny things in my day or that i see on social media as admonitions and signs from the universe that i need to make immediate changes/decisions in my life. - avoiding situations/people/things that trigger your OCD. - paranoia 24/7 (e.g. walking in the middle of the street so no one can pop up from behind a car and kidnap you or stressing about someone secretly living under your bed/or in air vent). - being hyper aware of your bodily sensations (e.g. what if i can’t breathe, trying to breathe in the ‘right’ way). - worried about thinking or saying things incase you ‘manifest’ them. - trying to think the ‘right’ thoughts. shaking them out of my head if you personally categorise them as ‘bad’. - constantly seeking reassurance that your not a ‘bad person’ from others. - having to rewrite a sentence 1000x to make sure it sounds ‘just right’. - latching on to safe/lucky numbers. - and many more…. (share yours down below!!) i’m just trying to help others feel less alone. i hope this brings peace to some of your minds.
Hey all, I’ve been having some ebbs and flows in recovery, but for the most part I’ve really had a lot of improvements in quality of life since starting treatment in 2023. Something that really trips me up is ruminating on my past and looking for “evidence” or “proof” that the things that I’m obsessed with are real and not OCD. I spend quite a lot of time doing this. I wasn’t fully aware I was doing it until recently. Example: that I’m secretly gay and lying to everyone (I’m bi), that I’m a horrible person deep down, that I’ve never actually loved any person including my family, that I have the “wrong” political or religious beliefs. I look for proof in every corner of my past. It makes some sense that I think this way because with my previous therapist, who I saw for 8 years and did not diagnose me with OCD, we would look for evidence and proof that my obsessions are irrational and I learned to deal with them that way. At the time it was a lot of health concern and contamination themes, but I literally learned to ruminate and search for relief. But I just kept getting sicker and sicker until I got diagnosed with OCD. It’s a frustrating compulsion that keeps showing up for me. What if these scary things are true? What if it’s not OCD at all and I’m in denial? Have I lied my way into thinking I have OCD? It’s so hard. Anyway, I’m curious if anyone else has come across this in recovery? Let me know your thoughts and I hope you’re well. ❤️
Is ocd supposed to feel like a genuine belief ? I see or hear some people saying things like « I know it’s not true but …. » while I personally don’t « know that it’s not true » I feels genuinely real and I even find evidence for it
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