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Hi. First of all, thanks for being so vulnerable with this post. I know it's scary to type it all out and share it with others, but I'm proud of you for it :) Second, this is something my OCD latched onto as well, and it's actually fairly common for OCD to latch onto events from childhood like this. A lot of people do things as kids they don't really understand. Our minds aren't developed, and we don't have the knowledge we do now, which is why we might judge ourselves harshly when we look back on things we did. That, and OCD lol. I just want to say that it gets better, and I know everyone says that, but coming from someone who's gotten over this obsession, I thought it might bring some comfort. Or hope? I don't know. When I spiraled, I compulsively confessed to my parents and to my sister (who I also apologized to). And guess what? They didn't judge me. They didn't hate me. In fact, my sister laughed when I came to her sobbing about how terrified I was, thinking I had done something horrible or hurt her. But then she hugged me for a long time (while trying to hold back her laughter lol), and when I apologized, she said I didn't need to, but she'd accept my apology if it would help me to be able to move on. And it did for a while, but OCD did NOT wanna let go of these memories. It's taken a lot of work, and I've had help from my psychiatrist, this community, and my family to get to where I am. I don't even think about it anymore, and if it crosses my mind, I don't feel nauseous or anxious. I don't criminalize younger me, and I hope you're able to get to a point where you don't do that either... If you need to talk, vent, or any advice, I'm here to listen and offer support 🫂