Not feeling like myself

Lately I just feel like I’m on the verge of losing it and I don’t know why. I feel so uncomfortable in my own body. Physically and mentally. Not due to insecurity but just that something isn’t right… I never feel good, I’m always fatigued, my head hurts all the time, but my blood work comes back fine so doctor’s will do nothing. I have anxiety and panic attacks and recently I guess depression since I’m always down. I have relationship OCD so my partner deals with me not being sure of him constantly and it breaks my heart. I don’t want to leave him because he’s great but half the time my brain is telling me he isn’t the one. I keep counting as well, constantly counting every letter in every word and every word in every sentence… it just feels like I’m gonna go insane one of these days and I’m scared. When I talk to someone about this, they have no clue what to tell me or how to help. Am I alone in feeling this way??

DO07

Date posted: 10w

This is me too. It’s like nothing is physically wrong with me but my brain is telling me something is and it gives me weird very subtle symptoms. Maybe a random quick sensation in my stomach that I take as pain my panic and ocd is very strong and I just think my brain is very good at making me feel something is up when nothing is. I’m 4 months post partum and the hormones prob don’t help

sizzli

Date posted: 10w

Have you ever done an MRI? Blood work can be perfectly fine, but that’s all it means, it is a positive that at least your bloodwork looks good. There are things that won’t show up in bloodwork. I was in a similar situation with constant fatigue and headache. I saw an ENT doctor (basically an allergist), told her about how I experienced a sensitivity to light and sounds, she suspected migraines and referred me to get an MRI. From that MRI, I found out I actually have an autoimmune disorder. I just thought it was migraines. If you feel something is wrong, something probably is, and that goes for even if it isn’t physical. It could be something simple or something more complex, but what is most important is that you advocate for yourself to your health professionals.

Anonymous

Date posted: 10w

@sizzli I always get told that I’m young and just need to drink more water and eat healthier. I’m 31 so I don’t think I’m that young to not have something medically wrong with me, but can’t convince the doctors to send me for more testing unfortunately. I will try though

sizzli

Date posted: 10w

@Anonymous I’ve been told that as well and it sucks because you can have issues at any age. Especially since a lot of problems don’t emerge until you are well into your adulthood. I’m 28 now, if I didn’t get that MRI, I would’ve still been told I’m too young and my problems are just my anxiety. Eating healthy and hydration are great, keep doing that. What I did was keep track of everything that feels wrong in a health journal. Mainly in my phone because if I have an appointment, I usually have my phone and won’t forget what I want to tell them. Be honest with how much it is affecting your life to them. I was always the type to be like “well it’s not that bad” and then dismissal of my problems was inevitable. If it is really affecting you and your daily life, they should be able to see that and do something about it.

sizzli

Date posted: 10w

@sizzli In my experience, the best way to get those tests you want checked is to say things that allude to a reason for those tests to be done without verbatim saying the reason. Otherwise, a doctor will see that as you’re a hypochondriac. It helps them if they “think” of doing those tests for you themselves. So like for me, I went to my allergist and said “bright lights have been bothering me lately (then elaborate on that), I can’t tell wether or not I’m starting to get car sick these days (then elaborate a bit), also loud sounds make me jump and my headache worse” Then she said “it sounds like migraines, I’ll set up an appointment to check.” You give enough for a particular diagnosis, but not too much that they don’t know if you’re just bothered by everything or not. It unfortunately takes time and “trial and error” sometimes to find a doctor that puts you first, and not their own ego. You know yourself better than anyone else. I hope this helps.

Anonymous

Date posted: 10w

@sizzli I set up an appointment with a neurologist for this Friday. It’s virtual, but I’m hoping it’ll be enough for them to send me to go do some tests. Thank you for the encouragement. Your advice is the reason I set up this appointment

sizzli

Date posted: 10w

@Anonymous Best of luck to you, I hope it helps ease your mind most of all. If all looks well there, I see a therapist as well. Not a psychiatrist as I don’t really want to take more meds than I already have, but just someone to speak to weekly is nice. I know for some it can be expensive, definitely look for “in-network”help with your insurance. Just knowing you have that someone you’ll always see and they’ll be there to talk about whatever you want, it helps a lot.

Talia_Rae

Date posted: 15w

ROCD

I am at the point where I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore and have a really hard time explaining my thoughts and feelings. The thought that no one may ever be able to help me or understand me is blazing constant in my head. I don’t know if I will truly ever be happy, the dissatisfaction I have in my life is beyond words and I try to be happy but my mind is so toxic and ungrateful. I feel that I may never understand myself. Have been dealing with extreme intrusive thoughts in regards to my relationship, if my partner is for me, if I am the reason problems come up in my relationship, if I am overly sensitive causing arguments etc. I will have constant thoughts about other people in my head although I have a partner. A hyperactive imagination of others if you will or specific individuals in my life. I have a severely low sex drive. I have also noticed recently that my partner will say things that I don’t like but can’t tell if he’s the problem or if i’m the problem. If I like my partner anymore or if I don’t, can I see him in my future or not. When I am with him I enjoy being with him but there is always a thought in the back of my head of do I just like being around him as a friend because I am lonely or if I truly love them. It’s to the point where I question leaving them or not. My only issue is that I don’t want to leave but at the same time I have trouble feeling emotionally and sexually connected. I even pick at physical imperfections that they may have which to my true beliefs does not matter I will love them otherwise. We recently have been arguing a lot and I can’t tell if I am the problem or he is but it causes me a lot of stress because I feel misunderstood and feel like he wouldn’t understand me unless he was me. It can be hard explaining OCD to him because he is one of those people who loves to self help almost like a life coach, explains to me that anxiety doesn’t exist and that I can help myself or stuff along those lines. It hurts so bad because he doesn’t understand how hard it is for someone with OCD and how him saying things like that only makes it worse and makes me want to turn away from him in a way. I want to feel like I can talk to my partner and that I know for a fact is my true belief. I pray that God will heal me of this terrible disease. I feel I have turned away from the Lord so much because of how alone and misunderstood I feel with what feels like no change. When I’m in public I’ll look at a guy and feel as though because they looked at me back they will think I like them or that I may be interested even though i’m not. I obsess in my head sometimes about real people I know that are kit my partner and have just learned to accept that but it’s still disheartening to me. I understand the concept of being with a partner and still finding other people attractive without obviously doing anything about it and I try to remind myself of that. Please someone tell me this is OCD because the thought of it not is sickening. Another thing I do is compare myself to other girls my age almost that if i’m not as pretty as them im not pretty at all. To whom ever reads this please be very mindful of how you respond because I am triggered very easily. But I am so so lost.

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 11w

I’m so tired I just wanna be free

I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression

OCDMM

Date posted: 11w

Lonely and struggling

OCD can be so isolating. I’m in a health anxiety spiral and struggling at work. I feel like I am failing everywhere and feeling very alone. My support system is tired of hearing about my fears, health wise and work wise. I find myself crying a lot. I don’t particularly enjoy doing anything anymore. I feel like I just can’t get comfortable in my skin or my head sometimes. I’m not sure how to else to describe it. Like nothing soothes me or makes it better. Even sleep is bad dreams and waking up anxious all night. I’ve always felt different from everyone else but when I’m on meds I can fake it better and I feel more connected. I want to go back on SSRI’s but I’ve been dealing with health issues and the meds exacerbate them so am delaying for the time being

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Not feeling like myself

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