struggling with blasphemous thoughts & doubt!

It’s been hard. I feel so trapped. I felt okay about a week ago. But these thoughts are really hitting me hard. Especially doubt too. Doubt if God & Jesus loves me because of these awful blasphemous thoughts! Doubts if I’m his child! Doubts if I am saved! I feel like I’m thinking then on purpose but I don’t want these thoughts! They bother me so much! It’s like a tick or Tourette’s in my brain. I also have thoughts switches I’ll say I love god but then it’ll changed to something so evil is gross :( It feels like I don’t have a relationship with God anymore or like I don’t know how to anymore. It makes me sad and stressing me out. I obviously try not to think awful things but the more I try not too the worse they are. I just feel so lost. I was so on fire and felt like my faith for God & Jesus was unstoppable but now I feel like I’m so far or how could he possibly love me anymore. How could I have these thoughts :(

Jabre7

Date posted: 10w

I struggle with similar things. Feeling like im sinning by "not doing good enough with OCD recovery", ironically. Things like "you're failing to trust God" and the classic "you're putting this above God for selfish purposes" and whatnot. God only judges us based on how good we can do as of when something happens. No one will be sinless in this life, but if OCD puts you in a spiral that lowers your "trust capacity" to 1% or ends up pulling you into a momentary trance of confusion over things you would otherwise despise, God only cares you do your best and have faith in Him, not furiously and manically resist every possibility of such things. Take things one step at a time. He knows your situation.

julianofnorwich

Date posted: 10w

When the disciples were on the boat on lake Galilee in the middle of the storm Jesus was asleep. And they woke him up because they were afraid as the storm was raging. And he got up and calmed the storm, but not right away I noticed. They were afraid for a while. I believe our thoughts are like storms. They are terrible but they will not last forever and Jesus has not left you though you are in a storm. Just like he didn't leave the disciples , he was in the boat with them the whole time. This storm of thoughts will pass the more you relax and let them be there. It's so hard I know. But you aren't alone. He is there and I am too.

Waging War A...

Date posted: 10w

Hi Cammy - you might really like this session by Mark DeJesus. https://markdejesus.com/4-things-you-need-to-know-about-your-intrusive-thoughts/ I also suggest looking him up - he has written several books. Also, here is a snippet from my book "Waging War Against OCD - A Christian Approach to Victory." (It's on Amazon if you're interested.) To clarify the below - I'm not saying that what you are experiencing is spiritual warfare - but I am saying that OCD and Satan attack us the same way....they introduce a thought we really really despise, then try to convince us that it's our fault for having them. I hope this is helpful: In The Christian’s Secret to a Happy Life, Hannah Whitall Smith addresses what this looks like long before OCD was ever defined. Just replace the words temptation and wrong with the phrase intrusive thoughts. "It seems hardly worthwhile to say that temptation is not sin, and yet much distress arises from not understanding this fact. The very suggestion of wrong seems to bring pollution with it; and the poor tempted soul begins to feel as if it must be very bad indeed, and very far off from God, to have had such thoughts and suggestions. It is as though a burglar should break into a man’s house to steal, and, when the master of the house begins to resist him and to drive him out, should turn round and accuse the owner of being himself the thief. It is the enemy’s grand ruse for entrapping us. He comes and whispers suggestions of evil to us, – doubts, blasphemies, jealousies, envyings, and pride, and then turns round and says, “Oh, how wicked you must be to think of such things! It is very plain that you are not trusting the Lord; for if you had been, it would have been impossible for these things to have entered your heart.” This reasoning sounds so very plausible that we often accept it as true, and so come under condemnation, and are filled with discouragement."

CJ_022

Date posted: 11w

Scrupulosity

Been having blasphemous intrusive thoughts about God. Then sometimes I’m really struggling and I feel resentful, sometimes even towards God, which I know is not right, I want to have reverence. But it feels like sometimes I think the blasphemous thoughts on purpose because of my anger. I don’t know if this is an OCD issue or an issue of my heart or both. But yeah I don’t know what to do.

Cammy123

Date posted: 5w

Religious OCD

So about 2 years ago I gave my life to Jesus. I've always been a "Christian" but never truly lived liked one. Honestly never truly felt love for them until 2 years ago. It was the best couple months of my life!!! I felt so happy and loved and unstoppable! I thought this fire for God & Jesus will never burn out. One day I had a thought about is God real? It bothered me so bad and I went into a massive spiral. Doubting everything. My faith. if I was good enough. Am I really saved? Do I have enough faith? Is my doubt real? Is it too much? Have these blasphemous made God not want me anymore? Or Jesus? :( But I knew I was and that they were real! I know I've heard them. Then I started having horrible blasphemous thoughts but then it would go back to doubting thoughts then back to the blasphemous ones. I hated the thoughts and doubts. The thoughts are so mean towards God, Jesus & HS. It’s anywhere from evil thoughts to cussing thoughts to rejection thoughts/denying. Demonic thoughts. Literally anything bad you could think of! Even thoughts of if I really love them or wanna follow them. I learned about OCD from what I've looked up but I've been dealing with this for about 2 years now. It's hard. I doubt if it’s OCD. Definitely feel like I'm trapped or my faith isn't the same. Which makes me sad because I want my faith! I feel like I've gotten lazy and honestly that I don't deserve them or am "too far gone" from them. I feel like idk how to be a Christian or how to have faith or just exist tbh. I wanna love God & Jesus! I want faith! I just feel kinda stuck. Has anyone gone through this or has advice or tips?

Religion & Spirituality OCD

Cammy123

Date posted: 29d

Doubting, feeling numb & blasphemous thoughts

About 2 years ago I gave my life to Jesus. I've always been a "Christian" but never truly lived liked one until then. One day I had a thought about is God real? It bothered me so bad and I went into a massive spiral. Doubting everything. My faith. if I was good enough. Am I really saved? Do I have enough faith? Is my doubt real? Is it too much? Have these blasphemous made God not want me anymore? Or Jesus? :( Then I started having horrible blasphemous thoughts, then it would go back to doubting thoughts then back to the blasphemous ones. I hated the thoughts and doubts. The thoughts are so mean towards God, Jesus & HS. It’s anywhere from evil thoughts to cussing thoughts to rejection thoughts/denying. Demonic thoughts. Literally anything bad you could think of! Even thoughts of if I really love them or wanna follow them. I feel so trapped or my faith isn't the same. Which makes me sad because I want my faith! I feel like I've gotten lazy and honestly that I don't deserve them or am "too far gone" from them. I feel like idk how to be a Christian or how to have faith or just exist tbh. I’m in a constant struggle of fear, anxiety and sadness. I wanna love God & Jesus! I want faith! I just feel kinda stuck. Please help. I feel so numb and don’t know what to do. Has anyone gone through this or has advice or tips?

Religion & Spirituality OCD

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struggling with blasphemous thoughts & doubt!

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