I know a lot of you struggle with HOCD (I do too) so I just wanted to give y’all some encouragement and share with y’all how it has gotten better for me in the past month. I have struggled with HOCD as well as numerous other types of OCD throughout my life. HOCD was one of the hardest (oh and POCD too so if any of you deal with that, I am so so sorry) But with HOCD, I couldn’t seem to break free of it because I think women can be beautiful and that even boobs can be beautiful (something my OCD analyzes like crazy). However, I have only ever wanted to be with a man. One of my biggest dreams is to have a husband and kids. I think about men all the time, and I do not want to have a romantic/ sexual relationship with a woman. But because I think women are beautiful, I have unwanted intrusive urges/feelings of attraction that give me NO joy. What I realized is that you can think someone is beautiful (or handsome) and not want to be with them romantically. OCD twists our deepest desires into the things we do not want. So I encourage all of you and remind you that our feelings and thoughts DO NOT define us They are like leaves blowing in the wind. They do not mean anything. If we do not like them or want them (and OCD can trick us with this), THEN THEY DO NOT REPRESENT OUR TRUE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.

Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.

I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.

Hey guys, just responded to a post about someone having their ROCD struggles and thought I might share in other groups as well in case it helps. While not everyone has ROCD, maybe some of my message can help others with this battle if it’s not something you guys already know. Maybe some of you guys can add your own thoughts as well. I’d encourage you guys to read my message even if you don’t share the Christian faith as I do. I encourage you guys further to read the Bible yourselves (what does it even say, anyway?). I’m only just a newbie to it, too, but it has helped a lot. The context: This is a response to someone who’s having guilt about their thoughts, partly because it goes against their faith. Anyway, here it goes: I can empathize and relate, especially when faith starts being thrown into the intrusive thought loop. My suggestion is to live your life according to your faith and your values, not your thoughts or feelings. Previously you might have used your thoughts and feelings to guide you as a compass, but try making God and His teachings your compass instead. Read the Bible, heck read it with your partner- that might help with feeling connected with him. Live your life according to your morals, not the world as “the heart is deceitful” (Jeremiah, 17:9) and the world has a way of demonizing certain relationship struggles (“you should be attracted to your partner”, “you shouldn’t question your relationship”, “you should have the same interests as your partner”, “you shouldn’t feel abc because it means xyz”). Make yourself a list for all the things you like about your partner, continually add/review them, and you will relearn to feel the feeling of appreciating them. What qualities about your relationship/partner have you enjoyed/make you stay? Love and loving relationships are built, not found. Notice how the reasons why you “don’t love” or “shouldn’t be with your partner” go against what God would want for you and are shallow lies from the world disguised as truths. Challenge these beliefs you’ve heard/held about relationships that are sabotaging yours. Have you considered maybe God wants you to stay with a loving partner who is good to you and cares for you? (assuming your bf is.) And lastly, find a therapist who SPECIALIZES in ocd. I’ve tried therapists who didn’t know what it was and not only were they unable to support me in the way I needed it but they kept unknowingly feeding my doubts. You are not a bad person or bad partner for having these thoughts. If you have not physically acted on your distressing thoughts, this is an extremely good sign. The fact that you know it’s wrong is a very good thing. Keep trying, even if you lose hope. Best of luck