- Username
- Jen22
- Date posted
- 6y ago
OMG, you just made my day!! I feel exactly the same!! thank you so so so much for this text!! We gonna be free!! You are an angel!! Thank you again
thank you so much for sharing this
Although you say that it’s not true, I would recommend against doing that because it’s a form of reassurance, a compulsion. The only real way to get through it is to suffer through it and eventually goes away. Trust me on that one I have had it too
@Lazar Oh yes of course! I do think we have to accept these emotions and feelings, but we don’t have to like them! And we don’t have to believe that they mean anything. We can let the thoughts and feelings pass through us and even be there without freaking out because we know who we truly are and that these fears mean nothing. It was never my intention to trigger anyone into seeking reassurance. I just wanted to encourage those who are feeling a little down today
This is perfect so thanks I’m going through hard times but this helps a lot ?
I don’t think I’ve “overcome” HOCD @Lu12. I think I will fight it and different types of OCD for the rest of my life. But it has improved greatly by me letting the thoughts and feelings just pass through me and not giving them as much attention. Also I’ve learned the importance of loving myself through this and not letting ocd define me. This is a journey for all of us and we will have good days and bad days. But I hope that we all have more good days than bad days. Just know you aren’t alone! I hate this disorder so much. And I hate that we all deal with it. But I’m rooting for each of you.
I’m so glad I could help! @Lu12
how did you overcame Hocd ?
A little clarification on my (and many others’) experience with HOCD. Yes, “I don’t care what my sexuality is, I just wanna know for sure” makes the case for HOCD stronger and more ‘qualified’ sounding- however that is not the only HOCD can manifest. Saying that, can trigger some HOCD sufferers who are simply weary of identifying as lgbtq (an understandable fear). Do NOT get me wrong however. I would do ANYTHING for my friends who are bi and gay. I love them SO dearly and will fight for them for forever. Lgbtq folk who struggle with their identities, and not being loved by the people who are supposed to love them no matter what- INSPIRE me with their resilience. Their strength. Their confidence to live out who they are to the fullest extent. I watched the movie Love, Simon and cried like a baby, and am incredibly excited that Pete Buttigieg is the USA’s first openly gay presidential candidate. However this does not discount the struggles that many lgbtq people face. So many are not accepted by their families, have extremely difficult life transitions, and agonize over coming out. These are not things that people willingly want to go through. Is is completely unreasonable for someone suffering with HOCD to also fear these things? As an example (I’m black)- there is a difference in saying that you wouldn’t want to be black because you believe we are less than, versus saying that you wouldn’t want to struggle with the same things that we do. Just because you understand the trials and tribulations that black people go through in this country and would not want that for yourself, does NOT mean you are racist. It simply means you understand that there is pain. And no human willingly wants pain. Although these are exact things lgbtq people have to deal with (making HOCD distinctly different from most other pure o themes because it becomes impossible to differentiate us from people actually struggling with their identity) it shouldn’t be ignored that HOCD sufferers fear them too! Why wouldn’t we? This is such a deep rooted issue for sufferers because, where you could say someone who is suffering with POCD would never hurt a child simply because their thoughts horrify them (and a real pedophile wouldn’t be scared of their thoughts) you can’t say the same for HOCD. For some of us HOCD people who have these specific fears, it’s even more difficult to trust that what we have is ocd and it’s even more difficult to explain to someone else that what we have is ocd. I’ve had different themes of OCD throughout my life and the obsessive and compulsive behaviors have been the same, but this one makes me feel like I don’t even get to qualify. What a mind-fuck for us, huh? Also understand, this definitely isn’t my only fear. I have been attracted to, day-dreamed about, and desperately wanted to be with one gender my entire life. Having a husband was something I’ve wanted for so very long. It IS a part of who I am and what I want. It’s distressing to think this could all be lost one day. To have these ‘dreams’ stolen by obsessive thoughts, and be made to believe that it was all a lie- is just as hard to deal with as any other form of ocd. When I envision the life that ocd is telling me I “actually” want- I’m filled with sadness. How do any of the rest of you deal with your ocd telling you that you want (or want to do) something- that you actually don’t? I know this can be controversial, and truly truly hope I do not offend anyone- lgbtq friends, I truly do love you. I just want everyone to know that what we can struggle with within each theme, can be very different- but none are any less important or qualified than the others. If you truly disagree and want to share, please be kind. I am just as fragile as a lot of us on here. I’m suffering too.
Tw for people who have HOCD. I recently accepted the fact that I really am bisexual and that's okay. ? I love my husband and nothing will change that. I used to think it was HOCD but after the thought of being attracted to women stopped scaring me, the fears went away but the attraction didn't. So it's no longer a cause for distress and is just a part of me that I've accepted and made peace with. ? However, the one downside of this is, because one of my OCD themes ended up being true, I now have thoughts like "What if they're ALL true? What if every other OCD theme including your POCD is true??" Anyone else in a similar situation?
Okay so I have been struggling with HOCD for so fucking long. I never felt like I had crushes on boys growing up but I wasn’t attracted to girls either (this was through 5th grade). Until 6th grade hit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had the thought walking up the stairs and it was “You’re lesbian.” And ever since that thought was there and I fought it I have been dealing with all types of OCD ever since (been going on for 7 years). And only this year I found it was OCD. But it’s hard because I don’t know if I’m actually gay or I convinced myself I’m gay because I gave up and gave in. Now whenever I see I pretty girl I feel tingling. And I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a lesbian so I look up pretty pictures of girls with their boobs out and I loved it. And I wanna make out with a girl so intensely. But then at the same I don’t wanna be in a relationship with a girl and I wanna marry a guy and I just desperately wanted to be like by a guy. But I get so horny whenever girls are in bikinis and stuff. But I have OCD and I’m so confused.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond