- Date posted
- 13w
Still ROCD?
I’ve been having a good time with my partner laughing, and enjoying time together. But in the back of my mind I wonder why I don’t feel love for him. Like how do I get it back
I’ve been having a good time with my partner laughing, and enjoying time together. But in the back of my mind I wonder why I don’t feel love for him. Like how do I get it back
1st. It is STILL ocd. 2nd. Love isn’t a feeling, it is an action, a choice. My ocd makes me question my love for my husband based on my feelings. This will never Be an accurate tool of measure because with OCD, your feelings are never accurate.
@Loveconquersall1 Love is ABSOLUTELY a choice! It is daily devotion! You can’t fall in love with someone without action, just as you can’t maintain love without action. Constantly monitoring your feelings only gives doubt. The only way to enjoy that time is to appreciate the moment. Write down things you enjoy about your partner and things you do together, pick a fun date, keep things fun!! The longer you date, the more OCD will play this game because they matter so much to you. Just know it is YOUR choice. Not OCDs.
Accept uncertainty-living in a world where your fear can happen or come true ?,easier said then done ?
I know OCD can be very hard to deal with, but this post is seeking reassurance, which only makes things worse. If you are not in ERP therapy with an OCD specialist, please look into getting professional help so you can get better. Here are some helpful tools and resources to help you through this: -What is OCD? Explained by Nathan Peterson: https://youtu.be/eeTFME9mOMc?feature=shared -The Psychology of Seeking Reassurance: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-how-to-stop-cycle -5 Things To Do Other Than Compulsions: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/five-things-to-do-instead-of-compulsions -Stopping Rumination’s Tough! Video by Nathan Peterson: https://youtu.be/CkcspsmLh9k?feature=shared -Somatic OCD & How To Treat It? https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-somatic-ocd -What is Rumination? https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-rumination-trap -Confessing compulsion vs. healthy sharing: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing -What’s Pure O OCD? https://www.verywellmind.com/pure-o-primarily-obsessional-ocd-4159144 -What is an OCD backdoor spike? https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/ocd-stats-and-science/backdoor-spikes-how-to-deal-with-sudden-ocd-episodes -Intrusive Thoughts: Images, Sensations, and Stories by Dr. Martin Seif: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-with-a-sticky-mind/202305/unwanted-intrusive-thoughts-images-sensations-and-stories -Therapy in a Nutshell’s Playlist on Panic Attacks: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiUrrIiqidTWhubkHEJcr6iTLVRxXZmPE&feature=shared -OCD vs. GAD Differences: https://ocdla.com/ocd-vs-gad-7071 -How To Stop Rumination Video: https://youtu.be/CkcspsmLh9k?feature=shared -ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -Forgiveness for Past Mistakes Video: https://youtu.be/2Lq1Su3mEHw?feature=shared -The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd -Taking The Power Away From OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/taking-the-power-away-from-intrusive-thoughts -ERP Worry Script: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/WorryScript.pdf -What is ERP therapy? https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/ -What’s An OCD Trigger? https://psychcentral.com/ocd/what-is-an-ocd-trigger -Grounding Techniques: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques -OCD vs. Anxiety Disorders: https://www.talkspace.com/mental-health/conditions/articles/ocd-vs-anxiety/ -ERP Techniques for Reassurance video: https://youtu.be/D1O3RGnLjRM?feature=shared
Is this ROCD? My girlfriend spent the night yesterday and we were cuddling when I felt that I may have not felt attraction towards her anymore. I started to freak out, because I felt that I hated her and didn't love her. When we would kiss I would get an uneasy feeling, like that I didn't want this relationship. I know I do, but it's freaking me out, it's like I can't even feel emotions towards her specifically anymore. I've been so distracted by this problem, I feel I'm also lacking attention towards her. I've been on my phone a lot during her stay because I've just been trying to distract myself. It hurts really bad, and I feel like a rude bitch.
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
I just read a post that said “people with ROCD know they love their partners” right when I read it I got this horrible anxiety feeling rush down into my stomach. My partner asked me to be his girlfriend in December and literally since that night It’s like a switch of doubt turned on and I was suffering with consistent doubt about loving my partner, I felt like I didn’t feel anything anymore and I didn’t know what to do and through out the past months it has been an absolute wave of things going on. He is aware of my ocd and in a way I’m glad that this happened because I have had harm ocd for the past 4-5 years and had no idea what it was until 2 months ago when I got an OCD therapist, I just thought I was crazy so I’m happy to know I’m not. Buuuuttt back to the ROCD, my main thoughts and feelings are about not feeling like i love my partner anymore and if we’re compatible, I hyper fixate on the weight he’s gained in the past few months and all the bad food he eats, I think about if our lives even align, we have very different views on some things but are we too different, what if we really don’t know each other at all and we thought we did because we’ve been best friends for 10 years. This is so frustrating because I’ve gotten to the point where my anxiety is barely there, I was have constant outrageous anxiety for 3-4 months and now I’ve gotten to this numb, I literally feel absolutely nothing feeling and it’s not even with just my boyfriend it’s with everything, I just don’t feel happy with anything anymore, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. We got into an argument the other day about how rude I was and I didn’t even feel sad or apologetic when he was talking to me about it, and I couldn’t stop crying, like I just don’t feel anything. I feel like there’s something really wrong with me. All I can describe it as is “blank” does that make sense? I feel like a bad person and I feel like we’re going to break up and I can tell how sad he is. All I do know is that I don’t want to break up. But anytime I think about him or anything along the lines of my ROCD everything like freaks me out. I like scream “NO” and “STOP” in my head all the time. But it’s starting to really feel real. I’m so scared, and now I read that post that said that “people with ROCD know they love their partner” but WHAT IF I DONT KNOW!!! I WANT TO LOVE MY PARTNER. I want to feel the love I had for him before this all started. We were so happy, and we didn’t even get the honey moon phase because my ROCD started right when we made it official. This is seriously so crippling.
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