im unconfident in my memory/ vent about my kitty💔

i really think im loosing memory!!! my kitty died in may, WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. and i finally stopped replaying the last moments with him 24/7 again in my head, but now it feels like im forgetting him. i remember his smell and his feel and how he liked to sleep and his habbits like how he drank out of bowls funny snd how he liked to lay on his back in the middle of the floor but it feels like its fading away. i miss him a lot. i guess its been hard to stay grounded because he was always by my side, he loved me SO MUCH. and i loved snd love him so much too. i wish i could be with him and i wish i believed in a heaven. i dont want to believe in that because i dont want to think that he’s somewhere without me. my memories feel distant snd like they were years ago bur they weren’t. every day feels like yesterday was a month ago. i feel sad with no routine anymore but i cant get another cat because im really scared id forget him more. his name was beanie and he was almost 5. he was weird and silly and it really hurts hes gone, and he went suddenly with no signs of sickness, to make it worse i thought there was something wring but vets kept clearing him. i hope hes ok wherever he is. this is him. id do anything to remember better. he was so handsome ill never see a cuter cat. i hope everyone knows how dear their cat is snd if you have one please give them the biggest smooch for me. my beanie loves smooches

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djflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

I'm really sorry to hear about your sudden loss. Losing a pet really sucks. It sounds like he brought a lot of joy into your life! I completely understand that fear of "forgetting" him by moving on or getting another cat. As someone who has lost a few pets in his life, let me offer you a perspective that might help (and no, it doesn't require a belief in a heaven). Even if you were to somehow forget him or never think about him again, Beanie will always be a part of you. That's because he's part of your history. The love you felt while you spent time with him led to who you are today, and will continue to influence the way you see and interact with the world in the future, whether you're aware of it or not. He made a positive impact on your life, and nothing can take that away from you. Even on days when memories feel fuzzy, the wonderful "emotional memories" of him will always be there. And I'm not just making that up to make you feel better; there are parts of our brain that "remember" things at a subconscious level, meaning even if you can't logically remember someone, the feelings that you felt around that pet or person will still be there. Take the time you need to grieve the loss of Beanie. Give yourself permission to feel those emotions. It's okay to feel sad! When these intrusive thoughts about "forgetting him" or "losing your memory" pop up, just let them come and go. They are nothing but distractions from your feelings, so try not to latch onto them or solve them. They are nothing but thoughts, and they don't mean anything. I've always found it helpful to be thankful for my past pets too. When Beanie pops up in your mind, consider taking a moment to pause and think, "thank you for making my life better." I hope this helps <3

bee !

Date posted: 6w

@djflorio thank you so much this made me cry in such a great way :( ive never loved anything or one as much as him and youre right that love wont fade even if memories do. he was one of the best things to happen to me and he came when i needed him the most and i will never be more thankful. this perspective really made me feel s much better thank you so much 💓

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