- Date posted
- 6w
???
I corrected someone’s racist comment — he whispered it, I tried to shut it down, but he kept pushing. When I disengaged and went back to work, he started swinging his phone in my face. Later, he spiraled and assumed I had told everyone what he said. He attacked me in front of everyone, shouting in part about the rscist conversstion, calling me immature & saying i shouldnt talk to him. And no one said a thing. What hurts the most is that I’ve supported all of these people when they’ve had bad days (including when they cried at work) — but now, when I’m being publicly berated, I’m left out in the cold. I was even called immature and told I should never speak to him again. Honestly, I’m angry. I feel used. I’ve given so much, and now I’m spiraling, suppressing panic attacks daily. This happened almost a month ago, and I can’t let it go. I want to leave my job so badly, but it feels foolish to leave a “good” job because of this — and yet I feel bullied and emotionally unsafe. The reality is: This is the third time he’s shouted at me. We spoke previous times, I told him dont shout at me & apologised and I forgave him — twice. I don’t shout back. As a Black woman, I’m painfully aware of how I’ll be perceived. So I just take it. So now I just don’t greet him. He doesn’t greet me either. The silence gives me peace — but deep down, I’m spiraling because no one held him accountable. People moved on like nothing happened, and it feels like they think I’m the issue. I didn’t say anything racist. I didn’t cause this. So why was I left unprotected? Especially since they claimed they agreed with my response & that his racism was wrong. I tried to confront the bigotry ocd & protect another class of people. I got berated. My sister made a good point — this is work. These people don’t have to protect me. We’re not friends. But I’m still hurt. No more lunches. No more small talk. I’m not trying to be petty, but I’ve changed my behavior. I let him leave the office first, so if he doesn’t say goodbye, it’s clear. But on the two occasions I left early, I felt guilty for not saying bye — and now I’m spiraling about that too. I feel so alone in this. Like I’m carrying the weight of this entire situation in silence. And maybe… five years in this job is too long anyway. Someone please drag me. I have no close friends, my sister & my parents are tired of discussing this. My therapist wants me to be her & confront him or be passively aggressively mean. But I'm like this man won't react. This is the third occasion & corporate.