PLEASE HELP

I’m getting a memory about a time last year when I was on tik tok and on the tik tok shop where there was a clothing item where it was like see through and I think I looked at it on accident a couple times and idk if I purposely looked at it. I know it was last year before I even knew my gf or anything but my memory is blurry and I don’t remember exact dates so I’m worried. I genuinely would never look at a girl sexually like that and I definitely would not have done that recently bc I remember I was super anxious that I did that at the time and I remember that the first time my ocd got kinda bad when I was talking to my gf was during spring break. And it wasn’t bc of the tik tok shop stuff. I know it was last year

Andrewnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27d

Hi friend! I am so sorry that you are struggling with this memory of the TikTok shop. Firstly, the more you try to figure out what date this happened, try to remember how long you looked at the ad, what you were thinking about at the time, and trying to remember when OCD started and was bothering you etc, the more you are reinforcing the faulty belief system that you are cheating on your girlfriend, or are some sort of sexual deviant or something. I can’t get a full grasp of what your deep OCD fear is based on your post exactly but I’m assuming it’s something like that! Any kind of figuring out of the past in regards to this is compulsive and if you can get yourself to stop doing that, it will help! Have some compassion for yourself as looking at an advertisement on TikTok is a very normal action for anyone, in a relationship or not! I would try to plan some exposures around this when you are no longer in a triggered state about this. Find another TikTok ad for women’s clothing, allow it to play over and over again and don’t avoid looking at it. Avoid doing any compulsions like ruminating or trying to piece together the past and let yourself feel all the emotion and let it pass. I also like to have something to silly to say to myself when an intrusive thought about my past real events scenarios pop in my brain. I usually use a joke from TikTok or something like that. Here is one for your situation “God forbid a man have a hobby of looking at women’s clothing on TikTok” and then I try to feel all of the feelings and move on with my day. You got this! I believe in you!

BB1224

Date posted: 27d

@Andrewnonymous Thank you!

BB1224

Date posted: 27d

@Andrewnonymous It’s just scary bc I know that when that happened I looked purposely at the women in the picture to see if she was naked or not bc the clothes were see through. She wasn’t naked. But I know I would never do something like that especially with having a gf now, I know that was last year, but idk how to get rid of these thoughts

Andrewnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27d

@BB1224 Maybe you looked to see if she was naked, maybe you didn’t??? Who cares??? You hit the nail on the head with “idk how to get rid of these thoughts” the more you try to get rid of them, the more you are reinforcing that they are dangerous to you, and they aren’t dangerous. Bring the thoughts with you instead of trying to get rid of them. You are in control of your life, don’t let a thought control you!

BB1224

Date posted: 27d

@Andrewnonymous Okay I’ll try thanks

Anonymous

Date posted: 27d

Your job isn’t to fix or know the answer, but to tolerate the not knowing. It’s hard but you can do it.

dee012

Date posted: 25w

false memory ocd :(

TW// MENTION OF DR8GS, SXUAL CONTENT false memory ocd is targeting my earlier teen years, around 16, I had a friend and we both did droogs (spelled it like that for a reason) one time together. I was scared to do the other stuff we had so she did it. but I remember us like touching eachothers chest as like girl stuff I guess idk it was weird lol… like about our sizes but then later on I had asked her smthng about ohh “would u ever wanna do stuff? or would u feel like that’s weird” something along those lines… and I remember her saying “ohhh I mean idk I would but I wouldn’t want it to make things weird between us”.. now here’s my thing. I remember just agreeing and accepting it and moving on, but obviously feeling weird cus that was sortve rejection. But my brain is saying what if u kept asking? Or questioned her? (We never did anything but likeee my ocd is like what if u tried to push it) and my brain is like what if u wanted to do it just bc she was under influence? I wanted us both to do it while under influence 1. Because we wouldn’t be anxious 2. I thought it would be fun at the time 3. I felt like it would be less weird if we were high. I did not PLAN for us to do these substances just for this reason but it was in my head that maybe we would do stuff if we had a sleepover or something plus I had just gotten out of a relationship with a guy and I also like girls. All im thinking is what if she said yes? MY high wore off before hers and hers was lasting longer so she would’ve been under the influence and that would’ve been super bad I would’ve felt like I 🍇 her or something… that’s why im scared right now. Idk if these what ifs are true and I literally am sick with uncertainty. If it’s true that would make me feel so terrible, like a predator (like I tried to coerce her or something) but idk what’s true and what’s not. I just remember this false memory being triggered by the fact that I asked when we were on stuff but my stuff had already wore off is what’s bothering me. (We took different things) I remember worrying about this false memory before, and was able to move on. Also me and that girl were friends for a couple years after that until we fell out over stupidity. And we also had sleepovers after that and idk if I already asked her for reassurance like ohhh are u sure I didn’t make u uncomfortable.. but idk if I did. I want to ask but I can’t because I guess she is not around right now. Like MIA.(her own personal stuff im assuming) Any advice would help :(

🧡🍁🎃

Date posted: 23w

False memory ocd

Hey everyone, I’m still struggling a bit with false memory ocd. Mine revolves around my relationship. There are some things I have remembered that occurred early on in the relationship, whether someone texted me on Snapchat or TikTok etc. and it was old friends of mine from a friend group. In the friend group it was me and about couple guys and girls. I remember there being an instance where one of the guys had messaged me on Snapchat after I had posted something about a tv show or I had posted a picture of me and my mom and they reached out to me saying something and I honestly can’t remember at all what they had said to me but I’m pretty sure i remember I responded with “Lol” or “Thank you” , and I think the reason I’m really struggling right now is that I can’t remember hardly anything about the text at all. And of course, my ocd is trying to convince me that it was either a flirty chat, or something else. I also want to mention that I unadded a lot of people off my snap, mostly guys on TikTok etc after dating my boyfriend because I felt like that was respectful. And even after doing that, my OCD was trying to convince me that I un added them because I was hiding something or I was on adding them because I didn’t want my boyfriend to see that they were on my Snapchat, which was not the case at all. I think I’m just really struggling because I think about past events that have happened in my mind is trying to convince me that something else happened, rather than allowing me to remember what actually went on. I just wanted to come on here and ask if anyone else struggles with something like this because it’s been really bothering me the past couple days and I know I would never do anything to hurt my boyfriend because I love him so much it’s just I freak out constantly, and it bothers me a lot.

Marrkk22

Date posted: 10w

Real event cheating

So I’m 22 and have had ocd my entire life. I’m about to hit 1 year in my relationship. I’m extremely happy and haven’t really had any rocd problems. Which is great. So here’s the problem. About 4-5 months into my new relationship I was bored one night and couldn’t sleep. I must’ve doom scrolled TikTok and Reddit for hours that night. Until finally I randomly thought about going on an anonymous chat site. I use to do this all the time back during covid when I was stuck in the house So for what ever reason I made a fake girl name and instantly connected to some random dude. I thought it was funny and decided to troll alittle cause why not I guess I just wanted to pass the time. He asked me where i worked and I said a bar (obv I don’t ) and he said “wow u must get hit on a lot u must be hot” and said yeah i do and then I felt really weird about it. So I closed the site down. Fast forward to now I felt like I cheated on my gf by flirting with another guy. Even tho I don’t like guys. It was months ago so I can’t rmeebr exactly how the text went but it was along those words and the convo had to been less then 3 minutes. Now since then all I can think is maybe I wanted the texts to go further. Or what if I said something sexual? What if I liked it sexually? On top of that, it was just a really weird one off thing I did. I mean I have no idea why I pretended to be a hot girl working at a bar lol. I guess I was just trolling or curious idk. Either way it would be really hard to explain to my gf and I don’t really want to tell her. Butttt , since I feel like I cheated I feel awful like I’m horrible person. These last 4 days I keep reading reddit post about ppl cheating on chat rooms and I keep googling to see if I should tell my gf or not. I understand sitting with uncertainty but I need to know desperately if I did something wrong bc my gf deserves to know. But like I said if I told her what happened it such a weird situation that she may think something serious happened. Also I dealt with a porn addiction at the time and I’ve gotten a lot better. So far I’ve been 3 days clean of watching porn and don’t even have the need too. How ever I think the real reason why I feel like I cheated was my intentions altho I went on just joking around I feel like I was on there for something sexual. Which I’m glad I never shared any personal things , pictures or anything graphic and the convo was less then 3 minutes long based off a fake character

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