ROCD struggles

My mind won’t let me trust that my boyfriend loves me and it’s the most frustrating thing ever. Honestly idk if this is rocd but recently we’ve been really great and our relationship has been strengthening so much. He gives me no reason to fear him leaving or anything or even cheating. He’s very loyal and has shown that he loves me. But my brain keeps pushing me away and at the smallest things he does I think maybe he doesn’t and I’m scared to fully put my all into him bc I think I’ll get hurt, every time i notice a small thing I don’t like abt him, it worries me and makes the thoughts worse. Basically to sum it up I won’t let myself just trust that he loves me and that we’ll be okay, I keep focusing on the future and what ifs like if we break up or something happens and it’s like I’m trying to protect myself from the future. It’s so stressful and annoying, I can’t predict the future so I just wish my mind would be calm and let me live my mind. No matter what I do I can’t shake off the fear.

Anonymous

Date posted: 21d

This is my (current) area of obsession and what brought me to NOCD. I came seeking help with thoughts just like this. So far my experience has been that the treatment for you and I is to “subject” ourselves to the uncertainty in a regular basis. Basically, when these thoughts pop up, the response is, “maybe it will work out, maybe it won’t”. It will be super scary at first to take the leap and basically have no solid ground to stand on, but the way out is to prove to your brain (through ERP) that there is nothing to fear here. Obviously this should be done with the help of your therapist, but that’s essentially the one true solution for us: proving to our brains that the alarm bells aren’t necessary by exposure and response prevention. Keep your head up and stay positive. I have hope for you and I.

Dev12_

Date posted: 21d

@Anonymous I had a really bad spiral yesterday night, my mind kept throwing so many what ifs at me at once and I was so overwhelmed and my boyfriend was trying to calm me down but he ended up just getting stressed which made it worse, I tried to accept the uncertainty but it’s just so much it feels so real, I genuinely believe he doesn’t love me anymore because I’m “too much” or “I worry too much” but I know deep in my heart it’s not true I just can’t tell what’s real. And my mind is even saying “what if it’s a sign” I don’t wanna end up doing smth dumb like breaking up with him. The littlest things trigger me like him texting me back slow or the tone of his voice when he talks to me etc. If you ever have moments like these what do you do?

Anonymous

Date posted: 21d

I am just getting into my treatment, but what I do know is that we must learn to accept the uncertainty. Uncertainty is our enemy as people with OCD. So far my treatment has been to slowly expose myself to triggers that cause anxiety and discomfort and basically “sit” with those feelings while not allowing myself to perform a compulsion. While working with my therapist I will add triggers and anxiety inducing situations that cause me discomfort and we’ve been working our way up from a low level trigger to the higher level triggers. I think the best course of action in this moment would be to add as many of these triggers to your hierarchy as possible. For example, when he “texts you slowly”, when his “tone is funky”. I would add these to your list of triggers and see what your therapist can do to slowly expose you to them so you can get relief from them. In my opinion, the more clear cut your triggers are the better, because now you know where to “attack” with exposure and response prevention exercises.

Dev12_

Date posted: 21d

@Anonymous Okay this makes sense, thank you so much. I’m hoping to get therapy soon so I will keep this in mind

Anonymous

Date posted: 21d

My pleasure. I highly recommend it. There is a future where instead of 12 out of 10 anxiety, you will experience 1 or 2 out of 10 anxiety from the same triggers. Peace and love!

olt28

Date posted: 17w

Any tips? I’m really struggling

I have had diagnosed OCD for a while now and I’ve been really struggling with my rocd. My bf and I have been dating for almost 2 years now and it has been great mostly. (I say mostly because of I’m being honest the bad parts are me causing issues due to my rocd) lately I’ve been struggling to trust him in that he will follow through with his word. This was triggered because we had a wedding and a brunch to go to (he doesn’t know the person getting married but was going just to go with me) and he ended up not being able to go due to finals and group projects he had to end up doing work for. This is a completely understandable and reasonable excuse not to be able to attend something, but my brain is now making me feel like he would do that to anything I need him for. And he literally doesn’t. Like we’re going out of town to see family this summer and I’m scared he’ll flake out. We’ve already gotten plane tickets and everything but my brain is like what if . Again it’s so stupid because he comes through almost all the time I invite him to something and when he can’t go it’s usually due to something pretty reasonable that he didn’t foresee. Like he comes to all my family holiday events, goes and runs errands and does things when I ask, comes over everyday to spend time with me. The only times he can’t come to my house is when he has no gas money. We’re both in college and his parents don’t really support him at all so he has to use all his money he makes working during the summer towards expenses and doesn’t often get to buy things for himself and when we are in our hometown, I go to his house more because my parents pay for everything and I help him save his money because he if doesn’t have any he is truly out of luck. Soem days he won’t even eat because he had to use his money on rent of something. But he still manages to go above and behind for me. Always includes me in things he loves to do, picks flowers for me anytime he sees one and buys them when he does have money, he always writes me notes and does sweet things that he knows will make me laugh. He is such a blessing, but of course my brain only focuses on the negative :( he’s so patient with my ocd but I do get tired of bugging him with it.

isabella123456

Date posted: 16w

Rocd

Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.

cmax20

Date posted: 10w

ROCD

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

ROCD struggles

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community