what do y’all thing I should do

why is my intrusive thought about wishing bad things for others?? Like I keep telling myself I don’t want that horrible thing for them but the thought just fights to get out and out, and once it says it I feel feel this horrible feeling in my chest and I feel so guilt and like I deserve to die because I’m the worst person in the world and I cry. This is one of the worst things I’ve had since I had ocd because if I could I would just ignore all ocd thoughts but these thought are the ones that been bothering me the most because why am I thinking out of no where and to innocent people that have nothing to do with my ocd. This won’t allow me to move on because I could be in the happiest moment and then I feel like i don’t derseve to be happy due to the ocds thoughts, l yesterday I broke down crying in class beacause i remember something really bad my ocd just decided to wish on someone. I promise im not horrible and I don’t want this idk whag am gonna do because I can’t live wishing bad. And I also feel like because I wished someone bad that I didn’t want to that it’s gonna happen to me but it’s the fact that don’t want the thoughts to happen and I feel sooooo horrible like kms type of horrible, these thoughts are just small thoughts they are bad thoughts like death and things I can’t get myself to say because they are really horrible. Recently I been mad that I even woke up because how am I supposed to live knowing my thoughts said this even know I didn’t want to.

f_98

Date posted: 7w

Hi! I came across your post while searching for thoughts similar to my own. I hope you're feeling better. I understand how you feel because I'm going through the same thing and I don't know how to deal with it. Even though I know I don't want anything bad to happen to anyone, my mind keeps wishing bad things upon me, and even though I've seen that it happens to other people, I still think I'm the worst person in the world for thinking all these things. If you've managed to overcome this, I'd love for you to share how you did it. If not, I want you to know that I'm here for you in this pain. P.S. I only speak Spanish, so I used a translator to write this. I apologize if anything is incorrect.

ihatethisfee...

Date posted: Yesterday

@f_98 Hola! Espero que estés bien, perdón por apenas ver tu mensaje. Casi no entro a esta aplicación, normalmente solo entro cuando estoy pasando por un momento difícil. Si soy sincera, yo tampoco lo he superado del todo. Todavía hay días que son más difíciles que otros y a veces los pensamientos se vuelven muy fuertes. Siguen ahí, solo que vienen y van. Yo trato de vivir un día a la vez y hacer cosas para distraerme cuando me siento así. Obviamente, estos pensamientos me asustan y a veces me hacen sentir como una persona horrible, pero algo que me ayuda es recordar que esos pensamientos no dicen quién soy. Yo no elegí tener esos pensamientos ni tener TOC, y no soy una mala persona por tenerlos. Aunque el TOC me diga que soy horrible, sé que no es verdad. Y tú tampoco eres una mala persona. Una persona realmente mala no estaría preocupándose todo el tiempo por si es una mala persona o no. Me alegra mucho saber que no estoy sola y que hay personas como tú que entienden lo que se siente. Quiero que sepas que tú tampoco estás solo/a, yo también estoy aquí para ti. Eres muy fuerte y espero que poco a poco las cosas mejoren para ti. Cuídate mucho

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