Can anyone give advice?

I used to suffer with HOCD. Me and my partner of 9 years broke up last month, I was absolutely devastated. Cried for the days we weren’t together, begged to work on our relationship, stopped eating and more. Got back together 5 days later. I felt the love, I felt safe for a few days. Then the thought of ‘I don’t love him’, ‘I don’t want to be with him’ all started. I feel numb, I feel anxious all the time. I’m smoking cigarettes like there’s no tomorrow. I’m back not eating. I’m scared. I really don’t want to lose him deep down, but I’m filled with doubt. Is this normal? Please help.

Tiny Turtle

Date posted: 12w

Take in a deep breath. Right now, try being in the present with the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can smell, 2 things you can touch, and 1 thing you can taste. After you're done with that, try the 444 breathing technique. Breathe in for 4 seconds through the nose, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and then breathe out for 4 seconds through the mouth. Try this a few times until you feel a little bit calmer. This is where ERP kicks in. Instead of giving into rumination (a compulsion), tell yourself “Maybe this means something. Maybe it doesn't. I don't need to figure it out right now. I'm going to go and do something more meaningful with my time.” Also, I understand that smoking may bring you relief but it's only temporary and can exacerbate your OCD symptoms. It's probably best to refrain from smoking. I hope this helps.

beckalouisex

Date posted: 12w

@Tiny Turtle I just feel like this is always here. Like I’m constantly hyper fixated on it. There’s either anxiety, numbness, thoughts or urges. What do I do?!

Tiny Turtle

Date posted: 12w

@beckalouisex I know how it feels. I'm currently struggling with SO-OCD (aka HOCD) and I've been non-stop doubting whether it's OCD or I'm in denial. One thing I've noticed is that the more I obsess / ruminate, the more real it feels. Stopping a compulsion is easier said than done (and personally, it's something I'm struggling with) but it's not impossible. Choosing to disengage despite the urgency and the anxiety you feel and redirecting your attention on something that's more important and worth your time helps massively. Think back to how you overcame HOCD and remind yourself that this is just OCD wearing another mask to spook you.

beckalouisex

Date posted: 12w

@Tiny Turtle It’s the numbness that’s the hardest because I can’t feel anything anymore!

Tiny Turtle

Date posted: 12w

@beckalouisex Yes, that's pretty normal. I don't struggle with ROCD but I've read that a lot of ROCD sufferers struggle with feeling numb. This doesn't seem dissimilar to my loss of attraction for men in my struggle with SO-OCD. I guess it's OCD wearing many different masks.

Newerthannewb82

Date posted: 12w

There was a "Let's Talk About Mental Health" episode about desperation today or yesterday on Spotify.

beckalouisex

Date posted: 12w

@Newerthannewb82 What do you mean?

Newerthannewb82

Date posted: 12w

@beckalouisex You seem to be intge same frame of mind as I have been recently. It was just what I needed.

beckalouisex

Date posted: 12w

@Newerthannewb82 Have you been getting the urges to leave your partner and everything?

Newerthannewb82

Date posted: 12w

@beckalouisex My phone is broken. It is hard to type.

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