- Date posted
- Yesterday
Upset
Still upset over me almost acting on impulse or felt like an impulse because i would be a c m then I feel like I’m the only one who goes through this
Still upset over me almost acting on impulse or felt like an impulse because i would be a c m then I feel like I’m the only one who goes through this
Ocd comes with urges, you’re okay. I’m dealing with something similar, I’m 22 and I’ve had intrusive thoughts about a 16/17 yo that I know and her post came up on insta and I looked at her chest out of curiousity?
@Anonymousssssss I don’t think so because I looked at his b## and I felt like I wanted to do something and in the moment it’s like I didn’t care like how is this Pocd 😭
@Anonymousssssss It happens to me too then I feel guilty
@Idontknow I believe ocd feels VERY real and makes you think no one goes through the same things as you, which people do, including myself! Your true character is showing by how it’s bothering you right now despite whatever your brain came up with in the moment
@Anonymousssssss It’s so upsetting because it’s like my hand I feel like it’s going to automatically do something bad and if I ask my brother for reassurance he’s going to say he was asleep:( how do I know I didn’t do anything wrong?
@Idontknow If you did something wrong, you would know 100%. I believe the fact you’re questioning it shows you did not. Ik im not supposed to feed into reassurance but that’s something I tell myself so if something like this pops up again, just remind yourself of that
@Anonymousssssss Thank you!
What’s an activity you can do, instead of ruminating?
@MichelleV Play 8 pool
Strong OCD urge, caused by fear..it happens to everyone...I know how scary it is, believe me, but we just have to go through it like other things ERP
@Anonimus ME 🦋 I was almost going to be a c m I’m worried now
@Idontknow believe me... only fear did it and too much focus... you didn't want it, but ocd can definitely mask and pretend your feelings, urges and the rest... I know it's disgusting and difficult not to enter into ruminations and analyses, but you have to start little by little to practice it...
@Anonimus ME 🦋 It just doesn’t feel like it was OCD 😞
@Idontknow I know everything...it's like that for me, probably for other people...if it wasn't, they wouldn't have a problem
@Anonimus ME 🦋 I feel so alone right now :( you get these urges/impulses too?
@Idontknow yes. It happens to me out of pure peace when I'm with my sister, or she utters a voice, or a facial expression... it's a second when I feel like I want something and I feel it... and I wrote about it... a lot of people have it...
Taking a full look into this, nocd, I really can see I'm not alone anymore, ik I still feel like everyone is against me, in the area I live in feeling like they know what I have or not, now seeing everyone else in this having what I have, now I feel a bit safe and not feeling hopeless anymore like the last couple of weeks
@Jimmy Rosario Same, sometimes this app makes me feel less alone
I will probably think about telling my whole entire story of what happened to me and how it got to this point since I feel less alone in here, would like to talk to people again, without having to be afraid, talk to someone
@Jimmy Rosario Yes I would like to read it!!
So recently my mind is trying to make me feel like I accept the thoughts, like I'm ok with for example loving X person. After I get a thought like that and I realize it I get anxious and, like right now, I cry for 1 hour+ on the bathroom floor. I feel exhausted and I want to know if I'm the only one having this.
I'm at my college and don't feel like being here. I didn't even want to come here. I woke up with anxiety bc i feel like i need to solve this. I had a bad stomach ache when i arrived to school and still havent even eaten breakfast yet bc i feel like i have to solve this. Im just so worried bc i have harm thoughts daily. If i could i would remove this! I dont want to think anymore. Its just, how do I know i dont have real urges when I'm feeling a negative emotion like anger or disappointment or annoyance? Im worried EVERY time i feel a negative emotion. Yesterday I was playing video games with my neice (we are close in age range) and she made us lose. She started blaming me and I guess i felt a little annoyed, it really wasnt my fault (dumb mini argument it was more playful since we started laughing but it was a bit annoying). Anyway i got a harm thought while feeling annoyed of me getting off the couch and lunging at her to attack. I immediately look at my bodily reaction and I tense up to stay as still as possible. My stomach was hurting and i wanted to leave as fast as possible. I stood up and turned off the game and said i was tired while making sure to stay back from her (and i had my hands away and stiff) but i felt so uneasy. I laid I bed and felt sad and heavy. And i kept getting thoughts that said "íts only a matter of time before you can't take it anymore". I started to reassurance seek using ai to ask if i was about to or if they are real urges or thoughts i mean until i eventually fell asleep in the middle of the compulsion. Im just so worried, what if I act out impulsevly one day? I dont want to! But what if when feeling a negative emotion, i suddenly dont care and do something? I really dont want to! I dont even want to feel negative emotions anymore since they trigger the thoughts and I dont want to think about any of that. As a result i tend to avoid my family as much as possible bc they are annoying sometimes. I just wish i was all alone sometimes so i wont get any more thoughts and so everyone can be safe. I usually just stay in bed under my blankets all day long to avoid my family and pets. I am constantly uncomfortable. I miss when i would never think any of this. Living life has become very scary for me now. 😞
I acted on a thought under much distress and restlessness. I immediately asked my child to move off me and thought to myself what have I done? Does that prove I'm not a monster?
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