I'm stuck please helpp

I spiraled about something a few days ago and since then I feel like I'm in a completely different mood. I used to be very happy about who I was but right now I feel like the complete opposite. I feel embarrased about everythingggg I do. And then Instarted obsessing over certainty and now I feel like I can't be certain about anything. I feel like I lost my whole personality is gone and my OCD is off the charts. BUT surprisingly I feel much less anxious than before. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to consider taking medication. I'm scared.

Tyconia

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17h

Hey, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so worried! Medication can definitely help, so I do recommend talking to a psychiatrist about it. Additionally, though, response prevention is still important. The less you obsess over it, the less you validate it, and the weaker it will be. It can also get you though the difficult times by reminding you that you don't need to figure out those anxieties in order to manage how you feel and get on with your life. It's a process that takes time, but I believe you and anyone else can do it! Let me tell you what my therapist told me recently- take a week off from rumination. You'll have all the time in the world to ruminate later, so just give yourself the break from it right now. Those things that worry you can wait, and they aren't worth sacrificing your happiness for when you just don't have the bandwidth for them right now

bruises

Date posted: 17h

Thank you. I just feel like I developed social anxiety over these past 3 days. Like Ocd pulled the rug out from under me and it was a HUGE blow to my confidence 😐, that's why I said I feel like a completely different person. And I can see emotions just for what they are (fear, shame, guilt) and exist with them being in the background. It's almost like I was between anxiety and depression but as I'm writing I'm doing calm and alright. What hurts the most is that I might not be able to achieve my goals I always wanted to. I'm also unsure whether it's my OCD or just me speaking at times. Thanks for responding again. ❤️‍🩹

Tyconia

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17h

@bruises Oh, yeah, it can really hit out of nowhere sometimes. As I'm sure you know, OCD will latch onto anything and do whatever it can to make you feel concerned about it so that you'll address its worries. Part of response prevention is acceptance of those feelings and non-judgement of them. I'm glad you're doing better now. Let me encourage you to still go after your goals. It may be more challenging for you and you may need to find alternative paths and tools to help get you there, but you can build those up over time! As you get better at it, and you see the progress, you'll notice it's more doable than you ever thought!

Tyconia

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

@bruises Also, I don't recall if I said before, but I was recently in a bad spot with a spiral as well. It's weird coming back from those and it can make you feel less confident, but in the end you've just gotta get back up and remind yourself that it's part of the process. You've still gotten this far and you still have all the same skills as before, so it'll be alright

bruises

Date posted: 16h

@Tyconia Fortunately or not it doesn't have anything else that's valuable to go after atp which makes me relieved & Thanks for the encouragement I'm really in need of it rn. Each time it comes back during a flare up for another round, it leaves me more confused. Ily

bruises

Date posted: 16h

@Tyconia I hope you're doing alright, I feel like if you have identity ocd it's almost like the final frontier as in out of all the subtypes it goes after your core values which hurt the hardest. It's like why did I get my hopes up again only for it all to come crumbling down, you know?

🍒Kk123🍒

Date posted: 15h

@Tyconia I struggle because mine really isn’t the same thought over and over again, but my root issue that I’m scared of is losing control or becoming a physcopath so it’s hard to do ERP because it’s not the same thought over and over again, did either of you experience this?

bruises

Date posted: 15h

@🍒Kk123🍒 I've had a fear of losing control when I was obsessing over harm ocd. Try gronding yourself in the present and focus on things you can control like your breath or your movement. + Just remind yourself you won't "become" a psycopath, people are already born that way.

Tyconia

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

Yeah, I feel that. It's difficult. I find that journaling can help, just so that I can get stuff out of my brain, or so that I can remember things I've learned. Looking for the good aspects of you to hold onto is also important and having that written down too can help you look back and remember who you are and how you feel outside of the confusing times

Justmesadly

Date posted: 16w

Spiraling

Please help I am having the worst spiral I have had in 5 years. I am doing so bad to the point I could not even sleep. I’m so scared, anxious and confused. I did ocd therapy for a long time and my therapist told me I was doing so well I needed to stop. Which I was until about 2-3 weeks ago it started back super bad. And now as of yesterday the intrusive thoughts feel more definitive. They are making me spiral, it literally feels like my brain is jumping from side to side. I love my boyfriend more than I knew was humanly possible. I haven’t lost my attraction to him, not that I know of… I don’t want to break up with him bc i love him, I think he’s hot, I want to marry him but I’m terrified that I am just lying and that the feelings never were true! I don’t know how to make it stop. I tried all night not to research and I had to give in. 😭 this is hell

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 16w

I feel like I am OCD

It is not the thoughts or urges that scare me anymore. It is the way I feel like I’ve absorbed the compulsions into my identity :( I am doing them so automatically that it feels like I am choosing them freely and they’re me. and because of that, it feels like I AM the OCD now, not just someone with OCD. I think I’m just deeply trapped in a loop. I was trying to survive unbearable fear so I started scanning. Then I started pre-scanning. Then checking if I pre-scanned. Then I check how I feel during all that. I run to beat my OCD to the “punchline” (intrusive thought, urge, sensation) because I’m so scared all the time. So scared that I don’t even feel it anymore. I feel numb and all that’s left is this jittery residue and numbness. Now it’s all tangled together in a huge knot. I feel so extremely lost. I think this may just be meta OCD, but I’ve never ever felt so gone before :( I’m really scared.

bcraig

Date posted: 11w

Sitting in the spiral

Hi all, First time posting and it comes in the midst of a big spiral and panic. Currently dealing with what we think is borderline existential OCD where I feel like I’ve come to believe that I’m not real, that this is all a dream, that I’m actually a psychotic person walking down the street imagining all of this. Got very triggered yesterday by seeing someone screaming and yelling at what seemed to be nothing. Had a panic attack this morning and just haven’t been a wreck since worrying that I’m going to end up in psych ward, realize I’m actually crazy, etc. Been in NOCD therapy for almost 4 months now and still struggling to sit with the uncertainty, avoid researching, seeking reassurance, and most of all ruminating. Anyone go through something similar and if so what were key tactics you used during these spirals to calm things down and recenter yourself?

Existential OCD

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I'm stuck please helpp

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