Help

18+ help pleaseeeeeeee What if he’s actually doing it I’m worried So I’m convinced my 9 year old brother is raping me in my sleep i saw that the controller for the lamp was on my bed and I immediately thought he did something to me and he said he didn’t put that on my bed that he woke up and went to my moms room to change and I just got a suspicious feeling like maybe he did do something to me I’m worried about it I’m just thinking every time he tries to get close to me is because he’s doing it for inappropriate reasons and I get weirded out by him being close to me or him looking at me or being talkative to me it’s like I’m very suspicious I want to ask him because I’m worried like you think he could do that to me? (edited)

Hate those times where you can decipher if it’s false memories or real. My theme is Pocd and I Cosleep with my son and ocd really loves to mess with that. My brain is spinning and trying to spiral into me thinking I touch my little one inappropriately in my sleep. This little image that keeps replaying is me turned towards him but my hand was on his thigh and I do believe he was in his side. And I remember I grabbed the blanket but for some reason I feel as if I grabbed or felt the blanket where it was folded. (Not sure if I was trying to fully cover him back because the pass couple nights he was tangled up in the blanket) I don’t remember what happed after that because I went back to sleep. But that little part I want to be certain I was messing with the blanket and not inappropriately touching my son. I mean can you touch someone inappropriately while sleeping? I’m sure a “real” pedo would plan something like this right? Like they would go to sleep with that intention. (Which I didn’t) Someone please help

I feel like I did something bad now because I went to put the blanket on my brother and my hand was close to his back I had a thought before like “it’s time to touch him” and I stood up and he was on a call but he was sleeping so now I’m like why did I stood up? Was it to take the iPad or what exactly? I feel like a child molester I don’t remember touching his area or butt because I didn’t but I had my hand near his back I asked my brother if I did anything he said no I asked if I did anything when I put the blanket over him he said he was sleeping so that doesn’t reassure me So I almost acted on it?