SO-OCD is so confusing because deep down I know that I’m heterosexual, I was always attracted to men, wanted to be with men and had crushes on men. I know I’m not sexually or romantically attracted to women. The logical part of my mind knows that. But false attraction makes it so stressing because if that’s the truth than why am I feeling the exact opposite now? Does anyone else have a similar experience?
I have this with pocd the attraction feels so incredibly real I don’t know why it happens scientifically, I wish there was a more in-depth explanation
I wish that too… Hope you’ll recover soon! 🫶
@JustAHobbitGirl Thank you, you too. If I find anything that explains it better I will let you know x
@hopetoheal92 arousal non-concordance can be related to trauma, sexual shame, physical pain or injury, hormonal imbalances, everyday stressors, or even just attention to groinal sensation intrusive thought from OCD > attention to physical sensations (ie checking for arousal to assure yourself that you wouldnt be aroused) > indirectly causes arousal from anxiety-increased blood flow > feeds obsession its a positive feedback loop and its not fun. youre not alone in this and it doesnt mean that you are immoral, a predator, or a different sexual orientation. you will both get better! i believe in you!!
@elwatson - Thank you! ❤️ It’s still stressing to me because for me it’s most of the time a strange fluttering in my chest or like a punch in the gut, and it makes me feel so nervous. I’m so afraid that I’m in denial and I just suppress my real feelings because it geniunely feels like these feelings are mine and because I I experience similar reactions with boys. And in the last few days I felt like I completely lost my ability to love men.
@JustAHobbitGirl You’re not alone! I’m an purchasing a house with my long term boyfriend and having these thoughts
@Justmesadly - I’m so sorry for you, it must be incredibly difficult. Hope you’ll get better soon! If you want to talk about it, I’m here.
I feel this way, just in the opposite direction. I am a heterosexual male, but I get thoughts that I am gay with 0 history of homosexual behavior. Just letting you know, thoughts do not define you, and you can continue to be with men if you truly want that for yourself. I reassure myself that if I was really gay, I would want it and not say “No, I don’t want to be gay!” The false attraction is the toughest part because it feels like a sexuality shift happening in real time, but attraction feels authentic, not a constant questioning. Real homosexuals do not constantly ask themselves if they are gay, they already know!
That’s what I’m trying to calm myself down with. I feel like I lost a part of myself and I’ll never get it back. I’m really shy and nervous (sometimes even stressed) around guys I like and my mind keeps on telling me “You’re not happy this way, what if you were happier with women?” Sometimes I even feel attraction towards myself when I’m looking into the mirror. The only thing that gives me some hope is that when I’m doing good I tell myself “Remember these moments when you’re stuck in the spiral again, remember how comfortable, happy and whole your heterosexual identity makes you feel.” Besides being afraid of becoming bisexual I’m also bothered by the thought of being asexual, but it’s easier now to push these thoughts away because a few weeks earlier it felt so real that I kinda came out to my mother saying “I think I might be asexual” but right after that I thought “What the hell am I thinking, I’ve always felt romantic and sexual attraction, this is not me!”
Yes, the most important thing is to isolate your mind. Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Let the thoughts flow and pass and you will not think about it much afterwards.
Thank you, I’m trying ❤️🩹 It’s hard but I won’t give up!
hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible
What’s your experience on: Losing opposite gender attraction? And, False attraction to same gender? I have both and I feel like I don’t know who I am. I can’t parent or be a husband due to the mass panic and anxiety. Just wanted to know if anyone has had both and regained theirself?
I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
