Why does my sexual thoughts always involve a black woman or of some other race? When I think of a relationship or anything involving lust that's all I think about. I know people say you have a preference but I've been made to feel like I am racist or something for not finding white girls attractive. (I apologize in advance to anyone this might offend)
Is it a problem? Is it offensive? ....What's wrong about it?... Being gentleman to the girl you like and give her your preference, your admiration and the girlfriend spot and treatment... What is the problem here šš?? Once you like one person, it's not your obligation to like, find attractive or want to date someone else while you are in a relationship (well, this is how my monogamous mind works but I may be wrong, Idk)
I don't really understand what you're trying to say but I'm not currently in a relationship, just when I think about one, that's all I think about.
@TristanG In my country, women that are not white are not the preference. Media depicts white woman as the most beautiful and we, non-white are considered ugly. Are you feeling guilty for not finding the media standard attractive? Why? I think people date people they like, find attractive, find interesting, and this is the most normal thing in the world, even if it's not the beauty standard. Now, it is a problem if you think non-white women are for lust and white women for marriage. (I really hope this is not the case :)).
@Anonymous Very well said. No, my issue is I'm seen as racist by some for what I like and I am not sure if it does make me racist or bad for not being attracted to white girls, which, admittedly is my own race. In my own country white women are definitely not seen as the most beautiful, and rightly so.
@TristanG Look, I don't think it's the case. In my country, police won't consider white woman suspect. Hospitals won't deny painkillers to white woman because some stupid people consider them "stronger" and that they can endure more pain than other women. Grandmas won't tell their grandsons to stop playing Don Juan and find a woman to marry when they introduce their white girlfriends. If white woman visit most countries in Europe or in the Americas, their skin won't be the first thing people see and they won't be called firstly by race instead of the nationality. If sexual attraction by itself is what they consider racism or not, their viewpoint is clearly screwed up (in my opinion). Racism is denial of human rights and dignity, is thoughts and attacks against other people's human rights and dignity based on race. Racism is cruel and opens a deep wound in the soul. Well, this is my point of view based on what I lived and observed here in my country. The truth is: every women wants to be desired by the person SHE WANTS to be desired by, not everyone. But every woman wants to BE RESPECTED by everyone. Every human being wants to be respected and treated with dignity. It also means to not be fetishized. Women just want to be safe and feel peace, regardless of race or color. I hope it clarifies
Iām 19 my brother who is 16 showed me a video of one of his friends girlfriend and told me āisnāt she hot?ā I feel like I did find her attractive and then I asked what her age was and he said 14. Why did I find her attractive if sheās that much younger than me? Iām also having trouble seeing girls in public I think are attractive but donāt know their age. They could be young and I still might find them attractive. Sometimes I force myself to look at these girls more than usual to really determine what their age is and if I find them attractive. I donāt stare intensely but it definitely feels strange doing it. Is this a problem that I canāt figure out if girls I find attractive are around my age? Or even if I know they are younger than me sometimes I might find them attractive? Why would I find them attractive if theyāre too young for me?
I remember another thing from the past where it was a sexual thought and I donāt remember if I was talking to or dating my gf at the time but it was like āif I was talking to someone else like _____ Iād be able to have sex alreadyā and I feel terrible bc I donāt want sex. I would rather be with my girlfriend than any other girl. Idk if the thought was intrusive or not. I think the people or person I was thinking of may have been intrusive. Iām just terrified bc I really love my gf and donāt care about sex
So Iāve been recovering from my obsession from my sexuality bc I am attracted to men 100% but when I was a child, a cousin I was really close to had me do things to her and ever since then my perspective on things have changed. After that experience I would sit in corners and watch girls kissing and when i got older and learned what pornography was, I would watch girls to learn how to pleasure myself and I would hide and watch women on women in the same room where I was saād in. When I became a teen I started learning about wattpad and teen stories and i got so into men and dating in the books and I ended up forgetting about all of those things that changed me. I never thought about any of the girl things till a old friend brought it up and said I should explore but it really makes me uncomfortable to do something like that because it doesnāt feel right and it makes me feel sick to my stomach to be with women or even talk to one that way bc Iāve never perceived women in that way. Iāve always fangirled over men and male celebrities and I have my favorite singers like Sabrina carpenter but Iāve never thought about her in that light nor have I done any other women. I even read this document called am I a lesbian and itās very good and it helped me realize that I am straight and it definitely took a bit of weight off my shoulders but then I saw a video of a therapist saying how being saād doesnāt change your sexuality and so I looked up how did people know or what clues did they have to know if they were bi and a lot of people usually know from a young age as young as elementary and having crushes on women and men but i never thought about women in general even tho I watched porn on it. I simply did it because it was really all I knew and I guess it was familiar to me?? now my new obsession is what does this mean for me ? And how do I know if im attracted to a women? Iāve never had a crush on one before. I never even thought about any of this until my friend tried to convince me to explore and it all just sparked from there. Ever since that day Iāve been avoidant of women and giving them genuine compliments like I used to. Everything all of a sudden seems inappropriate or gay to do. I get anxious and my lower body part starts to ache (groin) and it keeps making me wonder if that is attraction or fear or am I uncomfortable? But when im around a man I clearly find attractive or a male celebrity I find hot, or if I have a crush/relationship with a guy, I start smiling and trying to act all pretty and squealing like a kid who just got the best Christmas gift and I know that I clearly want to bone him. And my biggest dream is to be a mother. I want to get married to a man who will be the love of my life and have a happy family and I just personally never seen myself doing that with a woman and i canāt even imagine myself doing so. I know that probably seems cliche and I know this probably is a lot but what does it mean ? Am I just in denial or is it something more ?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
