Scared my professor thinks I'm a creep now :((((

I go to art school and am taking this one illustration class with a pretty famous illustrator. He's one of my favorite professors, I respect him a lot and want him to like me. We were sketching in class and I threw out a quick thumbnail sketch — really rough and not entirely thought through, just to get the idea out. The article was about telling the truth to kids in history classes, so I started thinking of the Washington cherry tree myth — I had a hand off screen handing a cherry to a child, and was going to have a dark, rotting cherry tree in the background. I just threw out the sketch in two seconds and moved onto the next; I wasn't thinking about it too much. My prof then came over and he made some comments about the other sketches I did. He then said about that sketch, "I don’t wanna be a creep but having a little girl and a cherry…” and then it clicked and now I feel so fucking terrible and I feel like he thinks im a pedo. I know I'm not, but I've just been spiraling and feeling so gross and terrible about myself. God ugh.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12h

I went through art school, and he definitely isn’t thinking that you are a creep. Art teachers want to make sure that you aren’t missing any glaring possible misinterpretations of your work. Everybody has accidentally implied something through their art that they didn’t mean, and nobody judges them for it. You aren’t any different. And besides, art is a space to explore taboos within reason. Not sure how to approach this from an OCD perspective, but from an art perspective you are totally fine.

vacuity

Date posted: 6h

Thank you, this really helped. I'm trying to separate my sense of value and morals from what I create, as it leads to some pretty uncomfortable feelings if things go misinterpreted. Double edged sword, as I feel art should put forth those things, but I just don't think it is working for me :/

KatiaM

Date posted: 11h

Art professor here! It isnt creepy, definitely just bringing it to your attention. I've done similar things with my students.

vacuity

Date posted: 6h

Thank you! Also, really cool to see an art professor on here :)

Mimi <3

Date posted: 8h

I’m an artist on the side and I personally find it crazy he even introduced that idea—I personally don’t think anyone would have saw it that way, especially with context. 😭But as the others say, he’s probably thinking in terms of what people might misunderstand in the *worst case scenario,* which is something I’ve def had to do before i post content online. As far as OCD goes, you will have to just sit with the icky feelings. I post a lot of content that gets misinterpreted, to the point I get some really aggressive comments. It leaves me in a dark place sometimes, paranoid that people think I’m an awful person. You will probably see me post about it on here from time to time. But although people can think whatever they want about me, that doesn’t erase my intentions and my reality. So I sit with the unease, but I keep going and keep creating. I’ve never stopped despite what my OCD attempts on me. And you do the same!!!! Best wishes <3

Mimi <3

Date posted: 8h

@Mimi <3 (also ngl i’m so jealous u get to work w a famous artist!!!!! that’s so cool😭)

vacuity

Date posted: 6h

@Mimi <3 - Thank you for your words and perspective! He is telling us to always try and see things as normal people would, so despite context, someone is bound to see it that way, especially if he did :( After class I spoke with a friend who also has ocd and she helped. This has helped too!! I am still sitting in icky land, but yeah, I suppose I have to deal with staying here a little longer. Thank you so much!! <3 p.s., he’s literally the coolest and also has ocd!!!

sanshine

Date posted: 16w

Scary work incident ADULTS ONLY 18+

TWTWTWTW so I was stocking at work and I saw this dude that looked 14-17 and thought he was kinda cute but also thought he looked familiar like a coworker or something and I was dwelling on it for a bit but didn't think too deeply of it. Anyway I looked up and he was standing right by my cart like against it cuz he was reaching for something and I thought something like "oh it's the dude". I moved my cart back to me realizing that it would brush against him in the process. I feel awful like I m*\ested him cuz I had like a groinal at the same time and I feel scared. Like it happened quickly but my brain is telling me it's because I wanted to do something to him or me and I immediately panicked when it happened

inky

Date posted: 12w

I feel like a creep

My OCD is playing whack a mole but I can’t even tell if it’s OCD anymore or if I’m just a horrible person. I made a joke when my friend mentioned a video game and I replied “gooner game” and then went “just kidding” (me and one of my friends in that group typically joke like this) My other friend said “eww” and started laughing, and even if the vibes were lighthearted I now I feel like I’m a weird creep. I’m worried I should have kept my mouth shut bc the other friend is younger than me (they’re not a minor). And even then, I feel like I still majorly overstepped and feel gross. Esp because im the oldest of the group and I should be leading by example. I’m so grossed out at myself for saying such an awful thing. I’m spiraling yet again. Ugh

ivefailed.

Date posted: 11w

something bad happened +18, NOT a groinal response

help. it all happened too very fast. i was having a random b*ner, and i wanted to stop it by forcing an er*ction so it would go down afterwards, i had also seen a yt short of cyberpunk 2077 phantom liberty, in which a beautiful redheaded character appears, and i had random thought abt how maybe she wouldn't be truly that pretty and it was just make up. i imagined a scenario in which i had an okay looking girlfriend but that would look very hot with make up on, and i thought that was the perfect scenario to release the b*ner by momentarily forcing an erection and as i did that i remembered a highschool crush i had of a girl older than me that i found very beautiful and i distinctly remember being excited to see her with make up on, and this memory associated immediately. it went like this -> imagine girlfriend that is beautiful with make up on as i prepare to have an er*ction -> this reminds me just like that time in highschool -> the positive memory of my crush appears as i force an er*ction to happen at the same time without thinking too much (this all happens in a span of a millisec) i don't know how but my brain didn't register that memory as a threat, i had forgotten the context, it didn't even cross my mind that it happened years ago in highschool, i just had this memory. now im worried that i committed a horrible disgusting act. the erection wasn't caused by the memory of the crush, i planned it to happen with a safe image and that image of the crush appeared as i remembered and it didn't register it as a threat and this just happened; because i don't believe i was aroused by the memory, i was just remember that she was pretty. i don't know if it was just coincidence. it wasn't intentional, but now im disgusted at myself. there are 3 possibilities: 1. i already had made the conscious decision to force an erection from the scenario before and as the memory appeared, as it all happened in a millisecond, i didn't have enough time to process it with its due context and i didnt perceive that memory as triggering or something inappropriate and for my brain it was okay to be in the background while the er*ction happened. 2. it happened in one second, the conscious decision was already made from the scenario before so the er*ction randomly happened during the remembrance 3. worst case: in the moment of the er*ction as i remembered the crush i put myself in those shoes of the young me and as the memory happened very fast i forgot the context and the distance of the period frame in which had happened (long ago) and since i remembered her being older than me i still perceived in that fragment of the memory that way, and since i was in the memory itself i found her attractive normally, indistinguishably and separated from the present time, and for that split second i perceived her normally as if i was attracted to a girl in my present time, it literally felt a "normal" perception of a girl i liked and i didn't realise it wasn't the case; and my mind since it lacked the necessary context it allowed it to be non dangerous and not wrong to force an erection, and i realised it was a mistake only after it happened hence the panic... so it all happened before processing the context of the time in which had happen that would result as inappropriate. im afraid that the 3. is what happened and that it is unacceptable.

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Scared my professor thinks I'm a creep now :((((

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