I feel sick .

(Writing this in class I don't really care, I trust myself that no one's looking this just can't wait.) I feel like I'm going to have a panic episode soon, darn you OCD and everything that's going on inside my brain ! Last night mood swings was off, I went from being absolutely estatic and laughing at everything to suddenly dissociating for a moment then to going back to being happy and now I just feel depressed and I'm so stressed about many things and OCD themes... POCD, ROCD but with friendships, Existential OCD, Harm OCD, Real Event OCD, Moral OCD, (these are the themes that are currently bothering me right now) I'm also worrying about friendships in general, school grades, myself and insecurities, and etc, I'm trying so hard to seem open to everyone and warming but I was asked if I was okay by a classmate even if I wasn't doing anything but looking into the walls- I nodded brightly but I don't feel okay.. I'm bottling everything up . So much is happening, and I may rant about all my stresses tonight here but at this current moment I sorta have limited time to display out all my thoughts before I have to head to my next class. I do have my coping mechanisms right now which is my daydreaming and talking to my intrusive thoughts and OCD as a bully/toxic friend . That does help me a lot but I DO really hope that I can focus on my school work and tasks I need to do because I really need to have that all figured out before break starts. Wish me luck . :,)💜 good day to everyone

Steven W NOCD

Date posted: 20h

I hear you, first of all congrats on having so much awareness, that’s huge. What comes to mind for me, at the end of your post when you say you have to have it all figured out before break starts, why do you feel that way? That you have to have it all figured out by a certain time? A helpful reframe might be, I GET to work on my OCD recovery today. And maybe the discomfort and intrusive thoughts will go away, maybe not (that’s where the acceptance of uncertainty would come in). Maybe I’ll feel this way forever. Maybe not. I can accept uncertainty and discomfort and still live e life I want to live regardless. Discomfort isn’t danger. It’s discomfort. I can handle discomfort. Hope this helps! Have a great break!

VVbee

Date posted: 18h

Thank you so much ! :^)) I appreciate your response. Let me reword some things- from what I meant by "I really need to have that all figured out before break starts." is not necessarily a NEED but more so a really want if I were to be realistic. 😅 I know that it won't ever be figured out fully and even if it fades it'll come back at some point or another worry will show up. At this current moment it feels so uncomfortable to where I can't think straight whatsoever at certain times- and I really want it to at least dim down for the holidays so I can be with my family without seeming dissociated or be in distress, I don't want it to end up like last year where I felt extremely upset during a fun and special day . : ( I really do appreciate the saying that it isn't danger and instead is discomfort, I tend to get lost into thought and start believing my thoughts are going to be the cause of my life being over or that I'm forever doomed . But I have to tell myself that this won't last forever or if it does I'll have support with me.

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