Feel like a Predator for Age Gap FWB Situation

Please only read and respond if you’re an adult, thank you. Might delete this too because I feel like such a creep. Recently in my recommendations I found a video from this YouTuber I admire, who posts videos educational videos about various different sociopolitical topics, mainly relating to feminism. I clicked on this video and in it she discusses the relationship between a 24 year old woman who’s in a relationship with a 19 year old, soon to be 20 year old man. The Youtuber repeatedly describes the man as a teenager and even “a baby” and calls the woman a predator, saying how their relationship perpetuates sexual abuse that’s a byproduct of our misogynistic society. Normally, I would agree with this woman, especially in regard to age gaps, but I couldn’t help but think back on my own relationship while watching it. A few months back, I (22F) joined a dating app in the hopes of searching for a long term romantic partner, as I have never dated anyone before. I ended up meeting this cute girl on the platform. Although I was unnerved by her lack of age in her profile, I thought that, since this app’s users were 18+, there was nothing I needed to worry about, so I swiped right and started chatting with her. We hit it off until she started asking more romantic/sexual questions, to which I asked for her age first, where she told me she was 20. I immediately got kind of uncomfortable with the idea of dating someone younger than me, which led to my brain getting paranoid, so just in case I asked her to send a photo of her ID with proof of her age. She complied, and her ID seemed to confirm that she was not only 20, but she had basically just turned 20 like a week prior. This honestly made me feel worse, as I was interacting and seeking a romantic/sexual relationship with someone who only just got out of their teen years. I asked my older sister for advice and she said how her two friends, who were now married, had a three year age gap and met at similar ages, and that because me and this girl I met were both adults and out of high school, everything should be fine. She (the girl) asked if I wanted to start casually seeing each other and I agreed to it. After a while of talking, I eventually met her at her place where I later lost my virginity to her. Ever since then, because she wasn’t comfortable being in a serious relationship yet due to personal reasons, we’ve decided to just be friends with benefits for now. I haven’t been to her place since then but we still talk to each other over the phone and over text, and our conversations and the things we send each other do get sexual on occasion. Like I said, I’ve always been a bit uncomfortable when thinking about our age gap, but I’ve always chalked it up to just OCD and that “we’re both adults and it’s not a big age gap so it’s fine” and “it’s not like you like her just for sex or for her age, so it’s fine.” But after watching that video, it’s honestly made me re evaluate some things. For starters, the obvious would be the YouTuber describing a 24 year old woman dating a 19 year old who would be turning 20 the same year as she turns 24 as a predator. Note that the video never mentioned that the 24 year old met her partner when he was underaged and she was an adult, nor that she met him when he was just 18, but that she was a predator for being a 20 something year old dating a 19 year old, which made me question if I’m a predator or at the very least engaging in predatory behavior for being a 22 year old dating a 20 year old who has only very recently turned 20. (What makes it even worse is that as this point in my life I’m a college graduate.) Then, going on to the rest of the video, I’m now worried that my relationship with this woman is perpetuating the pedophilic rape culture that we unfortunately live in, due to how she mentioned how focusing too much on the legality of things can ignore more important aspects like mental maturity and power imbalances found in different life experiences, and how this often mirrors behaviors that predators use to groom and target prey. Next, the woman discusses how, even if a woman is a predator towards a man, this is a symptom of the misogynistic society that we live in, which honestly triggers my Gender Identity OCD a lot by making me question if I’m participating in traditionally toxic male behavior. It also hurts that this woman oftentimes talks about actual pedophiles and rapists and misogynists and conservative bigots on her channel which makes me feel like I’m either actually one of them or I’m unintentionally excusing and normalizing their types of behaviors by not only being in this relationship but continuing it in the first place. One of the worst parts is that before this relationship, I probably would’ve wholeheartedly agreed with her, but now that I’m in this age gap relationship I’m like “well actually/maybe” when it comes to her video which makes me feel like I’m trying to make excuses which is exactly what a predator would do. Even going on this app, I see a post talking about sex that’s like “only read if you’re 21+”, so clearly anyone under 21 is sexually inappropriate to be around even on the eyes of other people on here. TL;DR: Watched a video where a woman describes a 24 year old woman and a 19-20 year old man’s relationship as predatory, and as a 22 year old woman in a FWB situation with another woman who only recently turned 20 before I met her, I am now questioning whether I’m a predator who’s perpetuating and excusing harmful sexual behaviors. Although it may seem like it, I’m not looking for reassurance on why I’m not actually a predator, I just sort of wanted a place to vent and maybe just seek some advice, as well as maybe some people’s opinions on whether or not they personally think I’m a predator. I’d honestly prefer if you were all brutally honest with me about your opinions rather than sugarcoating things. It might give me some more clarity tbh. If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask and I can clarify anything you want. I can also send the two videos this woman made if you want the full context on that too.