Advice NEEDED. PLEASE

So the other night i accidentally called my boyfriend my ex’s name, me and this ex dated off and on from august-October off and on like crazy, stayed tg 1-2 weeks broke up, like off and on. The longest we was tg was like maybe 2 weeks. And i always thought about other guys while with him, he treated me terrible. Like our main cause of breakup was he had sex with me while i was drinking, and he was sober, and i said i wouldnt agree sober, but i wanted to do it?? And he did a sex position i told him i didnt wanna do before we even had sex. and when j expressed it the next morning he was defensive and mean? Ig and i forgave him, then one day i argued w this guy bc he was making fun of an autistic kid, and my ex got so mad i argued with some guy for doing that.? And he basically said it wouldnt work, and i was trying so hard idk why? I never did. and he sent me a pic of his ex’s gf house. That he swore he didnt miss or love and so i was like wtf? But i was like okay whatever? and went on. And i was just in a low spot with him.. and he would always tickle me and id get mad. well me and him was separated a month, i got with my current boyfriend who i ADORE. Ive never felt so amazing about being with someone. and the other night he started tickling me and i screamed “STOP (my ex’s name) and i felt so terrible about something, now my mind tries to tell me i miss my ex, i wanna be with him, and how i miss his attention etc etc. but i dont? And my mind tries to make me think i wanna look at him and what not but i dont, or puts his name where my boyfriends name should be and sometimes when i try saying my bfs name it will mix his and my ex’s name? But I like hearing how he messed up his life leaving me bc idk ego especially with what he did? And i have rocd and pure o so please someone help me with what to do. Because i feel like crap.