Relationship OCD

Hi everyone, I’m new to this app. My reason for downloading is mostly to combat or find new ways to deal with my relationship OCD. I was in an abusive relationship at 17 that triggered this line of thinking for me. I’m now 19 and my girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. She is patient and committed to helping me heal from what was done to me. I didn’t notice this trauma start to creep up until after I met my gf for the first time (we are long distance). When I got home I started having intrusive thoughts that she may leave me, that she’s angry with me, etc. She gives me zero signs of this, it’s purely my own brain and trauma telling me this. I try my best to not constantly ask for reassurance because I know that’s not healthy. Lately though, I’ve been unintentionally starting arguments. I will obsess over a thought about our relationship and when I bring it up to her nothing she says calms me down and it leads to a fight. I don’t ever want to make her feel that way and it’s not intentional nor is it fair to her. Does anyone have any advice on how I can better myself for my relationship? I’m trying my absolute hardest. I love her and I want to be the best version of myself for the both of us. My trauma has nothing to do with her, yet she’s been so willing to help me through all of it and still love me.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Just offering a suggestion for it. I'm also working on my rOCD too. Maybe write out your experience in a letter addressed to whoever. This is more for you to lay it out on paper and digest/process your experience more real time instead of having a negative response as a reaction to your partner. 🤞part of treatment is sitting in uncertainty until it's a bit more tolerable. I hope this helps a bit.

squirrelquarrel

Date posted: Yesterday

wishing you the best 🙏 i'm also a lesbian in a relationship with ocd so know you're not alone. all of us here have got your back. keep fighting twin

villaneve

Date posted: Yesterday

@squirrelquarrel Thank you so much for your kind replies!!! I really appreciate it and it’s nice to know that others can relate to me because sometimes i feel so alone and isolated due to my OCD.

squirrelquarrel

Date posted: 5h

@villaneve i get you, ocd can feel so isolating. but you're not alone. sending warmth and care 🌟

squirrelquarrel

Date posted: Yesterday

one thing i can suggest is working with sitting with the thoughts without reaction (as best you can). think of them as bees buzzing around you, but don't swat them away. you can still go about your day with these feelings of anxiety. you got this twin 🙏

villaneve

Date posted: 2d

To add on, I see her again in 12 days. We are doing well currently and there is zero tension. After every fight we always apologize to each other and I take full accountability. To define “fighting” for us, it’s usually just some back and forth of us sharing our own personal thoughts on what I’ve brought up. We will express to each other that we are upset/angry but there’s never any name calling, yelling, etc. I’d say it’s actually slightly heated communication more than anything lol, but I just use fighting to sum it up. Also, I have several struggles when it comes to my OCD, but like I said relationship OCD is very new to me. I know I’m being irrational and it’s in my head but my thoughts take over and the fear outweighs anything else.

villaneve

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you!! I will definitely give that a try:).

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