Losing control

I hate how real the fear of losing control is for me. The dpdr is so scary and the intrusive thoughts of going crazy just send me into a panic. The rush of adrenaline/ hot flash I get scare me so bad into thinking that I will lose control and just go crazy. I am so defeated and depressed because of the thoughts/ the intensity I feel when I have these thoughts are always the same the anxiety levels are always the same when I have them idk what to do anymore im so scared of myself and im terrified to be alone in my own mind due to the thoughts and how loud they get. How can I get better when your mind is always with you? You can never escape ur own mind which is so scary

angel baby

Date posted: 3d

i feel the exact same way. ik how scary this is and i just wanna tell you that you’re not alone. ik it gets really scary and it feels like it’s never gonna go away. but it will. you won’t feel this anxiety/panic forever

pureolife

Date posted: 3d

It sounds like you’re really suffering right now. First of all, I’m sorry you’re in this spot. I’ve felt so much of what you wrote before. If you’ve ever listened to the OCD Stories podcast, I remember there being a really good episode from someone who feared going crazy. It may be helpful. They discuss their road to recovery. Escaping your mind isn’t possible (unfortunately) but perhaps you can detach a little from the thoughts. Mindfulness exercises where you imagine your thoughts like object in a river running by you and simply practice observing rather than engaging in each one can be helpful. Are you doing ERP with an ocd specialist? If your anxiety is always the sam, that probably means you’re doing compulsions consistently. You’ll need to practice resisting them and sitting with the anxiety if you want it to eventually go down.

Lilly2442!

Date posted: 2d

@pureolife No sadly I’m just doing erp alone but it hasn’t worked for me :( the anxiety levels I feel are always the same when it comes to experiencing the thoughts

pureolife

Date posted: 2d

@Lilly2442! Doing ERP alone is tricky. At least at first. Having an ocd specialist teach you how to do it properly is crucial. Most people when they try to do it at first they actually find ways of still doing compulsions. Which is why the anxiety never changes. ERP is exposure + response prevention. If you’re not refraining from all compulsions during and after it won’t work. Also it’s a little tricky at first to learn how to build a hierarchy of exposures so you’re doing them at a proper pace. You want to start verrrry small and move up. A lot of people just jump into trying to do what scares them most and that’s too much too fast.

eggieJZ

Date posted: 3d

Do you feel like you are currently losing your sense with reality as well due to all the racing thoughts? I feel like I’m currently going through this and it’s so scary man. I’m so hyperaware of every sound, it’s like my brain can’t stop trying focus on every single noise. It gets to a point where I get so overwhelmed that I really think i am loosing myself. This started last month and then I felt fine for 2-3 weeks and now it started again last week due to new intrusive thoughts that are stemming from my existential ocd and also another theme(schiz ocd). Pretty much rn it feels like I am doubting everything and it is scary I haven’t gotten good sleep in a few days. I keep waking up restless confused and scared. I keep researching every physical and mental symptom I’m feeling and honestly it’s not helping. What’s scary too is that I move my eyes erratically when I’m getting these intense moments of my fear happening. And my head feels like it’s high. I keep self reassuring myself about my thoughts and what I’m feeling, but it’s not helping obviously. Also not being able to sleep more then a few hours of sleep where I wake up multiple times and quiet my mind is making things harder and harder

Lilly2442!

Date posted: 2d

@eggieJZ YES I have the schizo theme also and I was hyper aware of every noise it did get better but unfortunately I’m still scared of losing control and it’s so scary

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