I think I have hit rock bottom.

@hanysm@gmail.com Thank you so much for your comment. I’ve unfortunately come to the realization that there is no true “healing” in OCD, only managing it. Even with management, there’s a quiet, persistent feeling of chaos and depression that never fully goes away. I cherish the moments when my brain has little to say. I practice mindfulness and gratitude, but those moments never seem to last; they feel lighter than the constant burden OCD brings. I understand that nothing lasts forever, neither the dark nor the light, but it’s exhausting trying to keep up with this chameleon of a disease.

@Miss_OCD I believe the core challenge with OCD often comes down to two things. First, we set the bar too high—wanting to be completely free from it instead of working on getting through one day at a time. The “total healing” mindset can actually make things feel heavier. Focus on progress, not perfection. Some days will feel tougher than others, but each day is its own challenge, not a continuation of the last. Second, many of us fall into thinking our case is somehow unique or different. In reality, almost everyone carries some level of obsessive thoughts or anxieties—most people just learn how to manage them. The difference isn’t that you have it and others don’t; it’s that for some, OCD became their default mental pattern. But the good news is that management skills can be learned, and with consistency, you can reshape how you respond to those thoughts. One day at a time. Less self-judgment. More self-awareness. That’s how we win this fight.

@hanysm@gmail.com Definitely, there is no total healing in anything. But i think I am just losing track of everything. Recently for the past month. I have been jumping from one theme to another. I woke up today with a brand new one. I know my psychiatrist said if this continues ( hasn’t even been a week since our appt. ) i will have to be on a long term medication ( i am currently weening off of Klonopin ). I feel sick to my stomach. OCD has genuinely led me to a loss of identity, and lack of “ what is considered normal “ vs. what is not.

@Miss_OCD What you’re describing is something many people with OCD can relate to—when the mind keeps shifting from one theme to another, it can feel like losing your anchor. But remember: this constant switch doesn’t mean you’re losing yourself; it’s just OCD trying new ways to test you. The fact that you see it happening is actually a sign of awareness, not loss. It’s understandable to feel discouraged, especially while adjusting medications, but this phase doesn’t define you. Your identity isn’t what OCD throws at you—it’s the strength that keeps you going despite it. Stay close to your treatment plan, give your mind time to rebalance, and focus on small wins each day. The steadiness will come back. You’re not starting over; you’re learning to handle this with even more insight than before.

@katydid_17 Thank you so much. It definitely is not!

@ACupofTea Thank you! 🙏🏼

@Corle1 Thank you for your support 🙏🏼

@mindfullymaddie Thank you for your support 🙏🏼

@Embo20 Thank you so much! I did not look at it this way. “ losing its grip “ i feel like it is just messing with me. But once you mentioned it that way, it clearly shows it is trying to latch its’ claws but it is not working. And that is true, because I am able to rule out almost every theme and it loses credibility. ( i have a range of themes) When speaking to my therapist, I have shaped OCD as a nagging child who constantly tries to tug at the end of your shirt for attention, and throws a tantrum when attention is not given. But the purpose of this “ child/ocd “ is innocent, and just to alert you in hopes of protection. Which actually lead me to reflect on inner child work and listen to that younger version of myself self where maybe my fears have not been addressed and comforted when they needed to be.